samsungxoxo Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Ok was wondering if any guys stay/like with the rebellious type girls that talk back to their parents and have anger issues sometimes. I will start seeking help sometime later this year on my anger management issue. I will do it even if my parents don't want me too and find a job also. Back to topic. I have answered back my mother on two diff. occassions long ago and just yesterday I wanted to hit my father. Whenever I feel intimidated, esp. when I see that it will almost go to physical that's when I will lash out and my mind will go blank, then I go crazy. My father was screaming and getting into my face, feeling intimadated I verbally lash out in extreme anger, that's my reaction. I get kinda scared because what if in one of those instance I accidentally were to grab a cristal in my hand, either in defense or anger. After knowing this, he is still with me. Can someone tell me why? Would any of you guys have been with me or walk away as soon as I told ya all that?
Ross PK Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I'm not sure what most guys would think, but I'd still be with a girl who is like that, it really wouldn't be a problem for me, unless she was also like that with me and I didn't deserve it. I really don't think there's anything wrong with getting angry and shouting in someones face if that person is doing it to you, it seems like a normal natural reaction, but I think grabbing a crystal to hit the person with would be going a bit too far.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I've been with girls who had anger management issues in the past and it wasn't cool. I'm not saying I would leave a girl because of this but quite frankly anger isn't a good ingredient for a healthy relationship. You'll most likely end up with a guy who has the same issues (a relationship of equals with lots of fighting) or a very submitted guy (an unequal relationship). By acknowledging your issue and seeking for help, I think you have made a significant step in the right direction. And I agree with the other poster, verbal aggression is one thing but hitting someone with an object is something else. If a woman tried to hit me with an object, I'd tell her to f*** off right on the spot and wouldn't look back.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 I'm not sure what most guys would think, but I'd still be with a girl who is like that, it really wouldn't be a problem for me, unless she was also like that with me and I didn't deserve it. I'm usually a calm, even shy girl at times. But don't intimidate me nor hit else you get into my dark side and you don't want that. I don't reply unless they don't do it first.
BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Wouldn't a better question be how can you control your emotions?
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 Wouldn't a better question be how can you control your emotions? Yes, by the other person not threatening me in any way nor responding with violence when I done nothing. Once again I don't reply unless they start it.
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Yes, by the other person not threatening me in any way nor responding with violence when I done nothing. Once again I don't reply unless they start it. An issue is usually not escaladed by one person, but rather by both parties. And even if the other person was the sole aggressor, it would not be to your benefit to react in an aggressive manner.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 And even if the other person was the sole aggressor, it would not be to your benefit to react in an aggressive manner. Why not? They deserve to be treated like crap if that's what they're looking for. How should I reacted with fear?? By then the other person will think he/she's outsmart you and be like ''Oh good thing I can scare her (me) easily and she knows who's boss''. Whereas by not being scare of no one then it shows you're brave, thus not a coward and are willing to confront them if they get in your face with violent tone of voice.
BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Why not be the bigger person and ignore people if they want to act childish? Everywhere in life, work/friends/school/love, youre going to have people who are upset and might go a little far for your tastes, but two wrongs never ever make a right. An eye for an eye makes the world blind -Mahatma Ghandi
JoeNewbie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Why not be the bigger person and ignore people if they want to act childish? Everywhere in life, work/friends/school/love, youre going to have people who are upset and might go a little far for your tastes, but two wrongs never ever make a right. An eye for an eye makes the world blind -Mahatma Ghandi My thoughts exactly.
Ross PK Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I'm usually a calm, even shy girl at times. But don't intimidate me nor hit else you get into my dark side and you don't want that. I don't reply unless they don't do it first. Same here, as you know I can be shy too. But there are times where I can easily explode, never on someone who doesn't deserve it though.
Ross PK Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 I agree with samsungxoxo here, if someone is being bad towards you then it's totally justifiable to be the same way back.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Same here, as you know I can be shy too. But there are times where I can easily explode, never on someone who doesn't deserve it though. Right on, I would never hurt someone that loves me and done nothing to me, that would be mean and crazy.
dreamergrl Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I don't think it's wise to chalk it up to being "bad" towards someone who deserves it, because they've been "bad" towards you. Eventually, in most cases, that anger will eventually escalate. I've been generally a shy timid girl myself, and as I grew older, I had my own anger issues, and the more I let it come out, the easier it became to be angry and abusive. I found that it stemmed from issues I had growing up. You can't always condone it, and make it justifiable. With that said, yes, he may be with you because you don't unleash your anger out on him, but if you have anger issues, who knows when you might. I'd still seek help for these issues.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 With that said, yes, he may be with you because you don't unleash your anger out on him, but if you have anger issues, who knows when you might. Right on, I never hurted him physically nor got in his face but think I had the potencial. Kinda like that occassion when we were at a mall and argue over sometime to which I somewhat punched the wall and then told him I wanted to walk out and come back in a few minutes later when I'm calm so I did. I know I would never hurt him as he doesn't deserve it, he done nothing to me. That's the difference between people that actually do deserve crap and those that don't. But yes I still will be seeking help. Don't really think I'm an abuser though, else I would already be having the signs at my b/f, just my mysterious/weird anger issues.
dreamergrl Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Right on, I never hurted him physically nor got in his face but think I had the potencial. Kinda like that occassion when we were at a mall and argue over sometime to which I somewhat punched the wall and then told him I wanted to walk out and come back in a few minutes later when I'm calm so I did. I know I would never hurt him as he doesn't deserve it, he done nothing to me. That's the difference between people that actually do deserve crap and those that don't. But yes I still will be seeking help. Don't really think I'm an abuser though, else I would already be having the signs at my b/f, just my mysterious/weird anger issues. Abuse doesn't have to be physically directed at a person for it to be harmful. Words can be more powerful then a punch. Displaying anger in such ways that are damaging to your surroundings can be a leading point to worse. When I had my own anger issues, none of them came out to a person in my life unless I was 100% comfortable around them, enough to feel I could display this strong emotion.
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