Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I've just noticed that before my ex left to fly home after breaking up with me, she put all the presents she bought me under my bed. I'd not noticed till now. She even left my birthday presents here for next month. I've opened them (c'mon, wouldn't you have been curious?!) and they're really thoughtful, with some heart-pulling labels, such as "We'll go together some day" on a Derren Brown DVD. [For those that don't know, he's a British psychological illusionist and trickster]. Thing is, now I feel guilty for not giving her the presents I got her. We'd only swapped 1 gift each (we'd had the same idea and bought each other a big tea mug), and I notice she took it back with her, complete with the cuddly toy that went with it. [That's a thought, she took the stuffed dog I sent her for her birthday back with her too...] I was going to tell her she might as well take the gifts I'd got her, but she'd already packed and was ready to go, and being in the state I was in, I didn't. Question is, I've got all this stuff I can't take back, should I send it to her? Some of it's not important, but there was some stuff I really wanted her to have. Does this count as breaking NC? Guess it does, but it'll only be by post. I don't want to strike up a dialogue with her through it, but there's no use me having the stuff here. It's important to me to retain my dignity through this, and it would make me seem like the reasonable nice guy.
Author Riffmeister General Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 *BUMP* Sorry, just would appreciate some advice here. I know it sounds silly, but it's bothering me. Maybe in a sense I want her to get them and make her miss me. On the other, it's just a shameful waste of money not to give them to her!
BikerBeagle Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I don't think I'd send them now. You lost your chance giving them to her when she left ...now it just looks like you are trying to get a reaction from her.
Author Riffmeister General Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 Yeah, perhaps you're right. If I'm honest, it is to get a response or to trigger her to miss me and realise I'm being a nice guy despite what she's done. Not a good idea now perhaps. It'll only validate the decision she's made in her mind, and make it feel to her like I've forgiven her, allowing her to go on and fully enjoy life with this new guy (when I hope it's a miserable experience. Schadenfreude, the Germans call it).
You'reasian Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Yeah, perhaps you're right. If I'm honest, it is to get a response or to trigger her to miss me and realise I'm being a nice guy despite what she's done. Not a good idea now perhaps. It'll only validate the decision she's made in her mind, and make it feel to her like I've forgiven her, allowing her to go on and fully enjoy life with this new guy (when I hope it's a miserable experience. Schadenfreude, the Germans call it). Don't worry about the presents. Now is the time for being joyful and loving with those who mean lot to you. Unwrap them. Think about a good female friend in your life. One whose really taken your side. Now find out if any of them are going through a rough period and could use a cheering up Tell her you'd like to hang out. Rewrap the present and tell her that this is a token of our friendship. or give them to a complete stranger, donate them if you're feeling more risque lol or if re-giving gifts feels strange, go exchange them at the store for cash/coupons etc.
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