Ezekiel1337 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I decided to go NC today. By 2o'clock she had text me saying she wishes she could have had one last kiss. She sent several different texts to the effect of: She doesnt know what she feels right now, she wants to be with me, but she also needs to be alone. That she wants to come back to me, but shes doesnt want to break my heart. I text back saying that i believe she truly needs time alone. I said as much as i would love to take her back, i would rather her go through this for her own sake. Her happiness means everything to me. I dont want to kid myself, but i believe if i try to take her back over and over again, we will fall further and further apart. If she has the opportunity NOW to realize how much I really do for her, then i think she could appreciate what ive done for her more. This hurts, and i knew it would. I think she wants to come back just to stop the pain, but thats like being a drug addict who goes to take another hit so they can stop withdrawing. But the down side to this decision is: What if she just stops feeling for me entirley? I have done for her what not many would do. Which is almost everything, since she was 15. She has grown up with my support. So i believe she thinks that everyone provides the kind of support and time that i put into her. For me, she always came first... no matter what. I would like her to find out that not everyone does what i did. But even if she doesnt come back to me, she could at least know what real love looks like. Its not holding hands and spending all day together. Love is a doing word, not just a feeling. I love her enough to let her go and find this out.... what do you guys think... i dont want to sabatoge myself by being selfish. I have never been selfish when it comes to her... so i dont want to do it now. But i just want to tell her to come back so bad...
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Think you analysed that pretty well yourself there. It is like the addict looking for one last hit. What you said is exactly what I would like to think I would say if the same thing happens to me. Let her be on her own, and then she'll realise what life without you is like. If she stops feeling for you entirely after all you've done for her, then she didn't deserve you in the first place. It hurts, but some people are like that. My plan is, if I cut her off entirely for a while, let her get on with whatever (or whoever) she is going to, I look like the big man that walked calmly away and let her get on with her life, didn't kick up a fuss, didn't beg for her to return, didn't try to sabotage her new relationship. One day, she'll realise that, and respect me for it. Think about doing the same.
peacebyinches Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I think you are right. Since 15 she had someone be there for her but you want some hard truth. Women that NEED someone there find someone. There are a million male suckers out there. She will find them. She'll find another you but may not respect him as much. I've made a lot of mistakes with women but one of them was never give them a reason to think I am a pushover. Don't know if you did that or not.
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 I got pretty emotional when she first broke up with me 2 weeks ago. But when i broke up with her 3 days ago... i was pretty solid about it. Slightly upset, but thats cus she was trying to say it was my fault. She knows now its not, she just needs her time. I am going to tell myself all day not to take her back. I'm giong to tel her this... Ok here is what we should do. This hurts a lot, i know... believe me, i know. Your right though, getting back together would just mean a heartbreak waiting to happen. Why dont you be by yourself truly for a while. I'll do the same. If you still feel like you want me after a good while, then we can try this anew. But, if you want me again, want me because you can understand how much i really do love you and how much I really did do for you. But appreciate it, just like i appreciate everything you have done for me.
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