Goatsbreath Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 blah, well I have not spoke with my X sense december 24th. I had gone about 4 days NC prior and then I ran into her at the apartment christmas eve morning. We still live together until she moves out around the 5th of January. It was short, "merry christmas" she gave me a hug and i tried to get a christmas kiss and she turned away and said it was not appropriate anymore. Deep down I was hanging onto hope. She broke it off with me around a month ago and is wanting to be free to do what she wants include hanging out with other guys, one in particular it seems. Sense then I have gone home to my parents for christmas and I have not spoke to her sense. She did not even call me on christmas day. I think she tried to call me on the 26th as her number always comes up blocked ID and I got one call from blocked ID on the 26th but no message. My phone is only 1 month old and so far every time I get blocked Id its her. I did not call back. So, tonight as Im with family and friends I know it will be tuff. Ill probably check my phone every hour for a text, a call or something. Its been hard enough the last couple days and i notice myself checking my phone to see if she called again. Ive almost called her many times and I know if she called I might answer on a whim. Grrrrr......oh my god, tonight is going to really suck.
Author Goatsbreath Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 So how many of you will feel like me at midnight tonight. What will you do to handle it. Im really not looking forward to ringing in the new year without her. Sad
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Yeah dude, tonight is gonna suck. Well, actually, it's 4pm I'm not looking forward to. I'm in Canada, she's at home in the UK, so I know when 4pm hits here, she'll have her tongue down the throat of the guy she left me for at midnight in the UK. She could now for all I know, but you get what I mean. I hope for some sort of contact, but since I told her I was cutting her off completely for a while while I got over it, I know she won't. My plan is to go out, find some cute girl to kiss at midnight and try to forget about the whole thing for a few hours. Yeah, good luck...
lovingalways Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Hang in there Goatsbreath. It might seem tough now but try to look on the bright side - this year is done and it is time to move on. I know you miss her and all, but I am 100% sure you will find someone soon who will give you all the love you deserve and so much more. I'm not in the same position, but I was before. And know how it feels. So, think positively. Turn off your phone and give it to someone in your family - make sure it is someone who will NOT, under ANY circumstances, give you the phone back if you ask for it. That's how I got through it. Don't think about the past. Shut the door on it and think about right now and the future. The future is bright. It might not seem that way right now, but soon you will realize how bright it actually is. There's no point thinking about "what if this or that... bla bla" - no point. You're losing time just thinking about it. So instead put all of your energy into making this night the best night you've had and enjoy it with your family.
EmperorR Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 She hasn't contacted me since oct 21st, will prob be with her new herb bf.
lovingalways Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Yeah dude, tonight is gonna suck. Well, actually, it's 4pm I'm not looking forward to. I'm in Canada, she's at home in the UK, so I know when 4pm hits here, she'll have her tongue down the throat of the guy she left me for at midnight in the UK. She could now for all I know, but you get what I mean. I hope for some sort of contact, but since I told her I was cutting her off completely for a while while I got over it, I know she won't. My plan is to go out, find some cute girl to kiss at midnight and try to forget about the whole thing for a few hours. Yeah, good luck... Oh, Gosh, you will destroy your soul thinking about that! Don't think about it. I know, easier said than done. But you're only hurting yourself. If she left you for someone else, then she didn't deserve you in the first place. Think of it like that. And she DOESN'T DESERVE your time or thoughts right now.
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Oh, Gosh, you will destroy your soul thinking about that! Don't think about it. I know, easier said than done. But you're only hurting yourself. If she left you for someone else, then she didn't deserve you in the first place. Think of it like that. And she DOESN'T DESERVE your time or thoughts right now. I know I will, but it was only 4 days ago, so it's still red-raw. I've done surprisingly well the last 2 days (a lot to do with this forum and getting back in touch with all my mates I neglected cos all my attention was on her), but I always expected today to be tough cos she was supposed to be here with me. Thanks for the words tho, I will really try to focus on the 'me'.
Author Goatsbreath Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 yeah, ouch, that made me think about her kissing someone else at midnight and it emptied my stomach. feels bottomless right now and I keep crying today. It did not help when I went to go do bills today and I realized I let my car insurance expire and my plates. I can not even get my plates now until i get my insurance and now they want 160 a month instead of the 90 Im used to paying because of the lapse in coverage. What a idiot I am to let this happen because I was to depressed to pay bills. .........blah hate it
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 yeah, ouch, that made me think about her kissing someone else at midnight and it emptied my stomach. feels bottomless right now and I keep crying today. It did not help when I went to go do bills today and I realized I let my car insurance expire and my plates. I can not even get my plates now until i get my insurance and now they want 160 a month instead of the 90 Im used to paying because of the lapse in coverage. What a idiot I am to let this happen because I was to depressed to pay bills. .........blah hate it Ah, sh*t, sorry man, that's not cool of me at all. If it's any consolation, I forgot to pay my phone bill, and now they've slapped me with additional charges. I'll phone them and cry down the phone till they take pity on me...
lovingalways Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I know I will, but it was only 4 days ago, so it's still red-raw. I've done surprisingly well the last 2 days (a lot to do with this forum and getting back in touch with all my mates I neglected cos all my attention was on her), but I always expected today to be tough cos she was supposed to be here with me. Thanks for the words tho, I will really try to focus on the 'me'. One word of advice (and I'm a girl) - NEVER neglect your friends, EVER. Because they will always be there for you and girls usually come and go. But I'm glad you're doing "better". It gets easier.
Author Goatsbreath Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 Hang in there Goatsbreath. It might seem tough now but try to look on the bright side - this year is done and it is time to move on. I know you miss her and all, but I am 100% sure you will find someone soon who will give you all the love you deserve and so much more. I'm not in the same position, but I was before. And know how it feels. So, think positively. Turn off your phone and give it to someone in your family - make sure it is someone who will NOT, under ANY circumstances, give you the phone back if you ask for it. That's how I got through it. Don't think about the past. Shut the door on it and think about right now and the future. The future is bright. It might not seem that way right now, but soon you will realize how bright it actually is. There's no point thinking about "what if this or that... bla bla" - no point. You're losing time just thinking about it. So instead put all of your energy into making this night the best night you've had and enjoy it with your family. Thanks for the encouragment. Every once in a while I have this sense of moving on. Like, it might be good, it might even be better. I wish it would last longer. Its hard to stay focused on the future. Im not sure Im strong enough to give up the phone. Someone might have to actually rip it away from me. Anyway, sense I will not have anyone to kiss when the clock hits midnight im just going to do my cheers and then drink to a better future without her. Even if I don't believe it now Im still going to toast to it and everyone here should toast to something similar. It will be like a group toast around the world of fellow LS members saying we are moving on into something better.
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 It's great you can see the future and see hope in it, even if it's only for a fleeting few moments. It's like peeking through the crack of a door, eventually that door will burst open and you'll walk through it. I was thinking just yesterday that I'm actually excited by the question "I wonder who my next girlfriend will be?" I assumed I'd be with this girl forever (she always used to say "don't be getting any ideas about leaving me! You're mine forever!" How ironic that now seems...) but now I have the opportunity to meet new girls, experience new things. It was only a few minutes of excitement then it went again, but I realise not forever.
belladonna Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I was doing so good yesterday, but this morning it hit me that it was NYE. We had plans to spend it together.. thats one of the things we were discussing the night we had that "fight". I'm so miserable right now. I've been debating sending him a "happy new year" text tonight after midnight. It would be breaking a weeks NC (from either of us). I just want him to know that I don't hate him. To be honest..I think I could be friends with him, even if it would mean seeing him with other girls. I would be the most unhappy with no contact from him ever again. I know that lots of you will think its the worst thing I could do..but I'm usually a pretty chill person and hate having hard feelings left between me and other people. But I haven't decided on anything yet. Either way, it'll be an interesting night. I'm going to a party with a bunch of people I really don't know, maybe I'll meet someone to distract me at midnight Good luck everyone, have fun with your friends tonight..I'll be joining in on that group toast, that we move on to being happy independent people!
Author Goatsbreath Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 cheers belladonna- sometimes I entertain the friend notion as well but im not sure Im ready to make that choice just yet. Riffmeister, quick push me through while im peeking, haha. Anyway, I like that question. "I wonder who my next girlfriend will be." It is kind of refreshing and you wonder what new things they will introduce to your life.
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I was doing so good yesterday, but this morning it hit me that it was NYE. We had plans to spend it together.. thats one of the things we were discussing the night we had that "fight". I'm so miserable right now. I've been debating sending him a "happy new year" text tonight after midnight. It would be breaking a weeks NC (from either of us). I just want him to know that I don't hate him. To be honest..I think I could be friends with him, even if it would mean seeing him with other girls. I would be the most unhappy with no contact from him ever again. I know that lots of you will think its the worst thing I could do..but I'm usually a pretty chill person and hate having hard feelings left between me and other people. But I haven't decided on anything yet. Either way, it'll be an interesting night. I'm going to a party with a bunch of people I really don't know, maybe I'll meet someone to distract me at midnight Good luck everyone, have fun with your friends tonight..I'll be joining in on that group toast, that we move on to being happy independent people! Yeah, it's tough when you know you had plans and stuff, but it'll never be as bad as you expect. Totally with you on the contact thing. I'm not going to contact her for a good couple of months (and I feel confident on that), but I know I do want to be her friend. I don't hate her, and what would make me more unhappy is not having her in my life at all. I just need to wait till I know I'll be fine even if she's still with this guy. I know I don't need to be friends with him too. Hate is draining, and best left alone.
lovingalways Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Thanks for the encouragment. Every once in a while I have this sense of moving on. Like, it might be good, it might even be better. I wish it would last longer. Its hard to stay focused on the future. Im not sure Im strong enough to give up the phone. Someone might have to actually rip it away from me. Anyway, sense I will not have anyone to kiss when the clock hits midnight im just going to do my cheers and then drink to a better future without her. Even if I don't believe it now Im still going to toast to it and everyone here should toast to something similar. It will be like a group toast around the world of fellow LS members saying we are moving on into something better. *rips away phone from him* Hahaha... I will toast to you and your bright future. How about that? YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH. That's what you SHOULD be saying. Haha Have you watched that move "Finding Nemo"? I know it might sound childish but deep down I'm still a kid haha but at the end, they try to free all of the fish from the net and they say "Keep swimming! Keep swimming!" So, I will tell you "Keep swimming!" It's a metaphor. And yes, I do take my lessons about life from cartoons.
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Riffmeister, quick push me through while im peeking, haha. Anyway, I like that question. "I wonder who my next girlfriend will be." It is kind of refreshing and you wonder what new things they will introduce to your life. *Shove* Yeah, I was just thinking the number of times I've thought "Jeez, this could be the last girl I ever go out with, sleep with, have that exciting flirting thing to begin with... I don't know I want that to be the case at my age!" Well, now I don't need to worry about that. I'm really looking forward to that exciting "Ooh, do they like me or not? Is she flirting with me?!" That butterflies in the stomach feeling when you meet up in a group of mates, flashing glances across at one another... good times.
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 *rips away phone from him* Hahaha... I will toast to you and your bright future. How about that? YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH. That's what you SHOULD be saying. Haha Have you watched that move "Finding Nemo"? I know it might sound childish but deep down I'm still a kid haha but at the end, they try to free all of the fish from the net and they say "Keep swimming! Keep swimming!" So, I will tell you "Keep swimming!" It's a metaphor. And yes, I do take my lessons about life from cartoons. Haha! Love that movie! Or, Deep Throat from X-Files - "Mr Mulder, if a shark stops swimming, it will die. Don't stop swimming..."
lovingalways Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Haha! Love that movie! Or, Deep Throat from X-Files - "Mr Mulder, if a shark stops swimming, it will die. Don't stop swimming..." Oh YES!!! Forgot about that one. X-Files was on looooong time ago. Finding Nemo was on yesterday on CBC haha... I watched it one million times but I still find it amusing. LOL... Oh dear...
saturnfell Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Just know you're not alone tonight - tonight will be difficult for many of us who visit this forum. Myself included. I'm going to sleep at 9:00.
belladonna Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Thanks guys..soon enough we'll find someone else. It's true.. just keep swimming, just keep swimming haha
Author Goatsbreath Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 It's a metaphor. And yes, I do take my lessons about life from cartoons. Well, they are always packed with good life lessons so I don't blame you and I did like finding Nemo. If I went X-files I think I the metaphor for my relationship would be when mulder looks under a microscope and says, "Scully, you have to take a look at this." Yup-its that messed up. saturnfell, cheers to you tonight, to the future and to swimming
Riffmeister General Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Oh YES!!! Forgot about that one. X-Files was on looooong time ago. Finding Nemo was on yesterday on CBC haha... I watched it one million times but I still find it amusing. LOL... Oh dear... I know! I only caught the last 30 minutes! Dammit!
lovingalways Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Hope y'all had a fun New Year's Eve. Mine was an epic night. And I actually mean "epic".
Riffmeister General Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Mine wasn't, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would, so I win! Spent 1 1/2 hours queuing to get in, JUST made it in in time for a couple of beers before the clock struck 12. Think there must have been a sign tho. I've got a buddy in Australia who's been bugging me the last few days to go out and visit, then I meet a random Aussie in the queue (my buddies were already in, I was being slowwwwww...), and I actually ended up spending the night with him and his Aussie mates, and as the clock struck, the band were playing "Down Under" by Men at Work. I'm beginning to think my 2009 ought to involve Australia in some way...
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