lovergrl86 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 My name is cheri im almost 23 and my fiance is almost 19 and we have been dating for 13 months when we first started dating we decided to have a baby together, it was out of the blue but we were also bestfriends for two years before we started dating. Just a month after we met he told me he fell in love with me and for two years he chased after me. When we started dating i got pregnant within the first week, so now a year later we have a five month old son and I am pregnant again. we wanted another kid so that our first two children are close in age. after I had my first son we broke up a few times and it was always the same scenerio, it was out of the blue, his decision, he told me everytime he didnt love me, he loved someone else, that he didnt want to live with me, he needed time to think, etc. during the times we broke up he went out and messed with other girls but a few days later we always got back together and when i asked him what was wrong he could never give me an answer. this last time weve been broken up for a month and he did it before he went to rehab he told me he wnated to be single and get himself together. so I believed him, but then during the time he was in rehab he dated a girl for three weeks, the second week in rehab he called me crying saying that he was sorry for everything. so when he got out he asked me if he could take our son for a few days and he did, but again he started acting really rude towards me and treated me like crap, so for a week now we barely talked and everytime I try to contact him he treats me like crap. He hasnt even checked on his kid in 6 days. I just don't know what is going on with him anymore, I know that he loves me but im just not sure what he wants anymore. when he broke up this last time I brought up the thought of us never being together again and he got scared he told me not to say that. So I just think that he may be getting scared about spending his life with me and confused abotu what he wants. if someone could help me i would appreciate that. do you think that its just a faze and that hes just scared and confused? we talked about living together this year but everytime we break up he says he dont know if he can live with me. by him being confused it makes me confused. he wanted to be with me and he wanted these two kids with me but now he cant decide what he wants? and guys did you ever get this confused and do this to your girlfriend too?? someone help me cause I am so lost.
starzphalling Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 ok you are not going to like me. 1. he's a player. adios. 2. you have 1 child and a second on the way, to me when there are children you have kinda lost your right to pine and concern yourself with some guy that um...yeah i have no kind words about him. take care of your kids and yourself. i don't think he's gonna be a bf/fiance/ w/e for a loooong time, he's what 18? take the right steps in court now, before it turns into some weird fight, this already seems like an episode of springer.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 ok you are not going to like me. 1. he's a player. adios. 2. you have 1 child and a second on the way, to me when there are children you have kinda lost your right to pine and concern yourself with some guy that um...yeah i have no kind words about him. take care of your kids and yourself. i don't think he's gonna be a bf/fiance/ w/e for a loooong time, he's what 18? take the right steps in court now, before it turns into some weird fight, this already seems like an episode of springer. I can only reiterate Starz points. If kids are in the picture they should come first. All decisions should be based around their well being. Do you want your kids growing up with a father who cheats on his mother or who cant be trusted? A father who leaves for days and comes back like nothing happpened? That would be a pretty *****y life to have in my opinion. He's to young to fully understand the consequences of his actions and maybe until he does you should try and go NC. I know that's hard with a kid in the picture but let him see the kids and refuse to speak with him.
Riffmeister General Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Ok, this has gone way too far too quickly, but what's done is done, so... - Lose him - Get legal advice about custody of the kids - Move on These kids deserve the best possible start in life and they're not getting it. I'm not saying they need a regular father-figure, but they don't need someone that abandons them for days at a time. Serious attachment issues stem from that kind of thing.
lovehim4ever Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I was in a similar position with my husband a few months back. Everyone that has posted replies are correct...the kids should come first, but at the same time I understand why you still care about him. He's the father of your child and you were best friends before then. You know that he's going through things and you just want to be there for him right? You know he still loves you and you just wish he would show it again. I will tell you one thing though...you can't push your relationship on him...the more you push it the more he will push away check out this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjJzA0Dz1Ok it may help you put a better prospective on things. I hope I helped. Feel free to message me anytime.
Recommended Posts