TheBandit Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I am starting to think there is something very wrong with me. After my wife cheated on me, I lost all respect for the virtues of marriage. Don't worry, I will never be cheated on again. How do I know this? Because I'm now the man taking your wife while you're not looking. It all started after my divorce. It wasn't long before I noticed several of my friends wives flirting with me. At first I thought nothing of it. I'm not great looking, nor am I the most entertaining ... but I carry myself well and I have a powerful presence in most environments. One day, one of my friends wives was teasing me, so I decided I'd try to seduce her. Well, hook .. line ... sinkher. Next thing I knew we were rolling on the floor embraced in passion. Such a beautiful experience, but I can't express the guilt I felt afterwards. I just did to my friend what some jerk I didn't know did to me. At first, I felt horrible .. but wife after wife later .. I found I just can't stop myself. Its not even about the sex anymore. Somehow, I get a certain rush from just being able to lure housewives away from their husbands. It's such a high to be able to capture their heart and soul when they supposed to be devoted to their one and only. It's surprising to me how good I've become at it, and being able to keep it all totally discreet. Most of these wives are secretly in love with me, and would leave their husbands if I asked them to. But I don't .. and I never will ... I'm not a homewrecker. (are you surprised?) ... But all of them say they connect with me in a way they never did with their husband(s). The great thing is when they get too attached, I can tell them that I am not comfortable continuing as it could really ruin their life if they pursue me further ... and I send them back to their husbands after giving them the night/weekend of their marital career. In fact, most of them still jump at the chance to stop by if I'm open to it. Before you say anything ... yes I know this is morally destitute. I probably need some kind of counseling ... but the real problem is that I don't want it to stop. I have the best of all worlds and enjoy the game far too much. If there is anything to learn from my experience, it is this ... "Don't forget to appreciate the love you have, because when you do... someone like me will remind you in the worst way possible". _________________________________________ The Bandit Don't blame the Player cause he's good ... Blame the Game.
Myusername Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 thanks for your honesty..perhaps yes, you may want to look into counseling or working through this at same point....but obviously you were betrayed and this is serving some need right now. Be careful. An angry husband is nothing you probably want to deal with, or better yet, an angry posse of them be careful...and perhaps when the fun is done, consider working on why you feel the need to do this (besides the rush of getting something that is not yours, revenge, the WTF attitude, etc.) I see what you are getting from it, I do. Have a happy new year, and I hope you come to some sort of peace in the new year MUN
Adunaphel Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 So, are you a troll or just someone who got stuck into "the Game" lifestyle the way other people get stuck in drugs or cults and is finally feeling a new man in control of his life while is actually losing touch with the actually important stuff without even realizing it?
Meaplus3 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 If your not a troll and for real here. Did you ever stop and think for one minute that just perhaps these woman that your reeling in are in a vulnerable state due to troubles in their marriage? And by playing with them your only creating alot of confusion and heartache. How can you sleep at night? My advice to you is professional counseling before your actions are the cause of breaking a part a family. BTW.. I'm not suggesting that the woman here are innocent by all means, but most likely they are in need of help themselves within their Relationship. Mea:)
Mio Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Its not even about the sex anymore. Somehow, I get a certain rush from just being able to lure housewives away from their husbands. It's such a high to be able to capture their heart and soul when they supposed to be devoted to their one and only. Speaking as one adulterer to another, I can tell you that this is not much of an achievement. It's really lame in fact. You make it sound like it's hard or surprising, but the thing I learned about life so far is that marriages are fragile. Most marriages end up in a rut at some point and both partners are vulnerable to an affair at various times. After my marriage crumbled, I fell into a huge depression and worked with my brilliant counsellor for a couple of years to recover. One day, he turned around and made a startling statement: "Mio, I've trained you to be a sociopath." WTF? I was scarred for a whole week by that comment. I asked him to explain himself the following week. He said to me, "You've learned a lot about empathy here and you've become a good listener. These are the same skills a sociopath uses." I protested: "But I'm not a sociopath!" He told me: "I know, of course you're not. But it's up to you now to choose who you want to be." I think that same advice might apply to you. Sure you can talk women into bed, but so what? These women pay a price afterwards that doesn't figure in your calculations. You don't see what happens to them later, when they realise that the trust they had with their partners is damaged. Trust is the essential quality in a marriage, and your actions are sabotaging that. You're like a kid with a baseball bat in a parking lot, mindlessly smashing cars. I've been where you are. I'm still there in theory. As I wrote in my own thread, I am tailing off an affair with my ex-fiancée of 20 years ago. She just about raped me last time I saw her. She even got mad when I tried to stop her before we had sex. Would she leave her husband for me? In a heartbeat. Does that make me a super-stud? Nope. Am I noble for asking for the affair to stop, for her to go back to her husband? Nope. I know you have the perfect racket. I've considered it very briefly, believe me. But you are hurting a lot of people, whether you realise it or not. You'll have to make your own decisions about that part of it.
bentnotbroken Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I am starting to think there is something very wrong with me. After my wife cheated on me, I lost all respect for the virtues of marriage. Don't worry, I will never be cheated on again. How do I know this? Because I'm now the man taking your wife while you're not looking. It all started after my divorce. It wasn't long before I noticed several of my friends wives flirting with me. At first I thought nothing of it. I'm not great looking, nor am I the most entertaining ... but I carry myself well and I have a powerful presence in most environments. One day, one of my friends wives was teasing me, so I decided I'd try to seduce her. Well, hook .. line ... sinkher. Next thing I knew we were rolling on the floor embraced in passion. Such a beautiful experience, but I can't express the guilt I felt afterwards. I just did to my friend what some jerk I didn't know did to me. At first, I felt horrible .. but wife after wife later .. I found I just can't stop myself. Its not even about the sex anymore. Somehow, I get a certain rush from just being able to lure housewives away from their husbands. It's such a high to be able to capture their heart and soul when they supposed to be devoted to their one and only. It's surprising to me how good I've become at it, and being able to keep it all totally discreet. Most of these wives are secretly in love with me, and would leave their husbands if I asked them to. But I don't .. and I never will ... I'm not a homewrecker. (are you surprised?) ... But all of them say they connect with me in a way they never did with their husband(s). The great thing is when they get too attached, I can tell them that I am not comfortable continuing as it could really ruin their life if they pursue me further ... and I send them back to their husbands after giving them the night/weekend of their marital career. In fact, most of them still jump at the chance to stop by if I'm open to it. Before you say anything ... yes I know this is morally destitute. I probably need some kind of counseling ... but the real problem is that I don't want it to stop. I have the best of all worlds and enjoy the game far too much. If there is anything to learn from my experience, it is this ... "Don't forget to appreciate the love you have, because when you do... someone like me will remind you in the worst way possible". _________________________________________ The Bandit Don't blame the Player cause he's good ... Blame the Game. So what do you want? A round of applause, an award or a merit badge? What you are doing most undomesticated animals can do, no big deal.
Reggie Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Before expieriencing this type of betrayal, I had no idea how prevalent it is, nor how many wives cheat. I'd say most folks would do well to steer clear of marriage, as it seems to be a complete sham. You story illustrates just how unwise it is for a person to marry and trust his or her spouse. I'll never go the marriage route again. Thanks for sharing. It supports what I have come to think.
Owl Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Your 'lifestyle' will very likely not end up how you'd like it to. One of these days, you're going to mess with the wrong wife...and find yourself in a REAL bad situation. Personally, it sounds like it couldn't happen to a nicer guy! Here's my New Years wish for you..."May her husband come home early!"
whichwayisup Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 If this post is real and I guess time will tell - I hope you get therapy. You've experienced the pain of being a betrayed spouse yet you choose to be OM, intentionally and knowingly help hurt other women's husbands. Do you have children? If so, think of the damage you're doing to them, let alone helping ruin other families.
Author TheBandit Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 Okay ... I never said this was an achievement and I wasn't looking for an award .. this was a confession. I know fully well what this can do to a family, but for some reason or another, I can't stop and worse, I don't want to stop. I've been keeping my "lifestyle" bottled up for sometime now, but I am sharing my confession with you now. I knew my post wouldn't be received well .. because of what marriage is "supposed to be". Well, I'm here to tell you that in alot of cases ... it isn't what it's supposed to be. Some of these wives outright stalk me nowadays .. and sometimes will even attack me when their hubby's in another room. Am I on a revenge kick? Nope. This has nothing to do with getting back at anyone. But it has all to do with proving that marriages have huge, gaping holes in them, and many of the ones I've seen are together for many other reasons other than what they are supposed to be: love. And I prove it well.
norajane Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I guess it's not so surprising that your wife's betrayal cut you so deeply down to the core that you have never recovered emotionally. And it's not so surprising that you hope that if you do unto others as others have done unto you, that your ego might recover sufficiently to ease your unbearable anguish at being played for a fool. The trouble with your methodology is that you aren't exacting any revenge on the people that hurt you so much - your wife and "some jerk" you didn't know...her lover. It's them you really want to hurt as badly as they hurt you, and all these other married couples are just poor, pathetic substitutes for your rage and pain. That's why you keep at it, you keep trying to get back at your ex and her lover, thinking you're having the time of your life and it's satisfying, when really, these are all hollow "victories" and none of these conquests get to the heart of the matter - the pain you haven't dealt with yet. Yes, it IS time for therapy because bedding thousands of married women will still not get you past the damage done to you. Your pain will still be there, your ego will still be shredded, your anger will still be there, and that will stay with you as long as you try to bury it in tangled bedsheets rather than facing it like a man.
Meaplus3 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Okay .... I know fully well what this can do to a family, but for some reason or another, I can't stop and worse, I don't want to stop. I've been keeping my "lifestyle" bottled up for sometime now, but I am sharing my confession with you now. Can't stop? Then time to seek therapy. . But it has all to do with proving that marriages have huge, gaping holes in them, and many of the ones I've seen are together for many other reasons other than what they are supposed to be: love. And I prove it well. I'm curious as to why you feel the need to prove this??? Mea:)
Citizen Erased Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 This is coming from a place of love. ****ing your friends wives is f'd up and you should be kicked in the balls for every thrust you give to the bored wifeys. At least screw those that have no emotional attachment to people you are supposed to be friends with. Just a suggestion. Other than that I'm sure you're a standup guy...
norajane Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Am I on a revenge kick? Nope. This has nothing to do with getting back at anyone. But it has all to do with proving that marriages have huge, gaping holes in them, and many of the ones I've seen are together for many other reasons other than what they are supposed to be: love. And I prove it well. And who are you proving it to? Why is it so important to you to prove that everyone else's marriages are just as susceptible to infidelity as yours was? How many times must you prove that to yourself to feel better about the betrayal you were dealt? You can prove it a thousand times and it still won't change the fact that YOUR wife screwed you over and you can't get over it.
jwi71 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I knew my post wouldn't be received well .. because of what marriage is "supposed to be". No. Its the attitude that isn't received well - ok, actions too but methinks its your attitude that is eliciting the responses received. If you are "real", then you need to read and re-read norjane's post.
Author TheBandit Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 That's where you're mistaken. These aren't victories. And they aren't hollow. I already told you it's not about the sex. (BTW, most of the hubbies weren't my friends first .. but many times I do come to know them through the wives later) My connection to these women, is very strong and very intense ... even after I stop the affair, which I typically do before real trouble brews. Then I usually give them space for a time, and if I miss them, then I will lock, load and repeat. Many of them know I see other women ... some don't care, and some turn purple with jealousy. But really, how can they have any right to be jealous? How ironic is that?
Reggie Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Okay ... I never said this was an achievement and I wasn't looking for an award .. this was a confession. I know fully well what this can do to a family, but for some reason or another, I can't stop and worse, I don't want to stop. I've been keeping my "lifestyle" bottled up for sometime now, but I am sharing my confession with you now. I knew my post wouldn't be received well .. because of what marriage is "supposed to be". Well, I'm here to tell you that in alot of cases ... it isn't what it's supposed to be. Some of these wives outright stalk me nowadays .. and sometimes will even attack me when their hubby's in another room. Am I on a revenge kick? Nope. This has nothing to do with getting back at anyone. But it has all to do with proving that marriages have huge, gaping holes in them, and many of the ones I've seen are together for many other reasons other than what they are supposed to be: love. And I prove it well. Yes, you do. But, what is the motivation for proving it? I could speculate, and the obvious guess would be that since your own wife betrayed you, it somehow softens the blow to see that you are not alone and that other guys' wives will do the same. Perhaps this demonstrates to you that your wife's betrayal of you was not about any deficiency she may have claimed to have seen in you, but, rather the nature of women or the facade of marriages. That's just my amateur psych take on this and it may be bull. But, you must admit , something has changed you and you are acting inconsistently with the values you had before your wife hurt you like this. And, you recognize the weirdness of this, the contradiction between knowing the pain, first hand, that awaits these men and the coninued desire to do this. Just seems like you are out to prove something, to show you are not alone and that it was not you that caused your wife to cheat(It was not). Unless you've gone nuts or already were without a conscience, I would think this will bother you a lot , at some point.
2sunny Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 well, what you are doing is no big or small accomplishment... there are plenty of folks in the world that just act on impulse and selfish behavior... you have just learned how to tap in to that. anyone can literally walk down the street and find plenty of folks to have sex with - if that's what you're on the prowl for. those women have been there all along, you are just now noticing them and are making a conscious decision to act upon this new found knowledge. your awareness level allows them to understand where you stand and that you are available for whatever they may want. our body language will always speak the truth. and it always speaks first! yours tells everyone that you want them. by using these women for instant gratification and a moment of pleasure is only short changing yourself. you are incapable (at this time) to allow yourself any emotional availability for any woman. you are in pain and covering it up. to avoid women emotionally while using them for sexual favors that benefit yourself will only hurt more and delay the pain you need to address in order to move in a mentally healthier direction. you can continue on this way and remain emotionally bankrupt - or you can choose to address the issue and grow to be a healthy, happy man. you will never be happy inside if things remain the same... the choice is yours.
Author TheBandit Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 well, what you are doing is no big or small accomplishment... there are plenty of folks in the world that just act on impulse and selfish behavior... you have just learned how to tap in to that. anyone can literally walk down the street and find plenty of folks to have sex with - if that's what you're on the prowl for. those women have been there all along, you are just now noticing them and are making a conscious decision to act upon this new found knowledge. your awareness level allows them to understand where you stand and that you are available for whatever they may want. our body language will always speak the truth. and it always speaks first! yours tells everyone that you want them. by using these women for instant gratification and a moment of pleasure is only short changing yourself. you are incapable (at this time) to allow yourself any emotional availability for any woman. you are in pain and covering it up. to avoid women emotionally while using them for sexual favors that benefit yourself will only hurt more and delay the pain you need to address in order to move in a mentally healthier direction. you can continue on this way and remain emotionally bankrupt - or you can choose to address the issue and grow to be a healthy, happy man. you will never be happy inside if things remain the same... the choice is yours. Whoever said I wasn't happy? I'm far happier today than I was being married. I am not angry. And I am not using these girls to get back at my wife. I think you are cheapening this to be about sex only. I am not. I have become very close to these women, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and yes ... physically. Even closer to them than their husbands. That's the difference.
Marteka Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 So outrageous it must be true...! Bandit, if you are having the bestest fun and don't want it to stop, it is not immediately clear why you are posting here. My own guess is that being cheated on has made you question fidelity and marriage, what it means and so on, beyond what society traditionally tells us. I was cheated on too. I hurt for a long while and then moved on, but from that time on, it has fascinated me. I seem to see it everywhere these days - it's what drew me to this forum. I should say too that I am no angel...I have cheated and been with cheaters and am the last person to lecture on morals. Yet I still think, what an extraordinary way you have chosen to explore these concepts...! You have stumbled upon a fact that connects many people who post on this forum. And it might not have much to do with your drawing power. People cheat. Repeat ad nauseum.
Meaplus3 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Whoever said I wasn't happy? I'm far happier today than I was being married. I am not angry. And I am not using these girls to get back at my wife. I think you are cheapening this to be about sex only. I am not. Ok..I'm just not understanding this? How on earth could messing with other MW make you happy.. or happier than when you were married? Why are you selective to MW and not single Chicks? I guess I just don't understand what your motives are Bandit. Mea:)
Reggie Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Yeah, it is amazing. I must have had my head up my ass for a long time. There is just tons of this stuff going on. I was pretty oblivious. Strange thing about my two XW's that both serially cheated, they were both the type to be super critical of others that cheated and were very invested in pretending they had never cheated before. Folks came out of the woodwork after their affairs became known , to tell me about their histories of cheating. Best to watch out for yourself and don't believe much of what a spouse or lover tells you in this area. Dogs are better companions.
2sunny Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Do you have children? :lmao::lmao: you mean the real question is... does he have children that he's aware of? or any on the way?
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