Helioz Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 At night i have to sleep with the tv on in my room with a timer set to turn off or else ill feel extremely lonely. It feels like a ton of bricks hits me every time i wake up too, as if the reality that my gf broke up with hits me every time i awake. When i wake up is the time when i most feel like sh*t. God i hate this... its been 3 wks since she dumped me.
Geishawhelk Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 This is not intended to be a puerile or flipant question: What channel do you have it set on?
That Emotion Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 You don't sound pathetic. You sound all too normal. Time is the only thing that will truly heal you. The distractions are helpful but only temporarily. Hang in there and try not to do anything foolish while you're having moments of weakness. You're not pathetic.
Author Helioz Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 This is not intended to be a puerile or flipant question: What channel do you have it set on? CNN...it has to be something where people are talking
surviving you Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 sounds normal , your are not pathetic go do something nice for someone , always makes me feel better
Geishawhelk Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Let me explain why I asked. I used to fall asleep with my headphones in, listening to BBC Radio 4, which would then switch to the BBC World Service. I figured, "Get some subliminal sub-conscious education, " because even in your sleep, you pick stuff up. It's a fact. Result? I would wake up the following morning feeling like sh*!*t. I was really crabby, down and depressed. I felt awful, I really did, I had no idea why. The, it dawned on me. The news and programmes were about global issues. And global issues, mostly, STINK. You can count the "feel-good" news stories on the fingers of one hand. Of an amputee. So I stopped. Instead, I began to listen to meditation CDs, and these programmes you can buy which teach you how to meditate on the positive. I began to listen to comedy clips. I began to listen to wonderful music. The difference was astounding. Remarkable, really. My whole mood and attitude was completely transformed within a couple of days. I would be prepared to bet a pound to a pinch of doo-doos, that part of your wake-up mood is down to the kind of programmes you're watching as you go to sleep. I know it sounds off-the-wall, but truly, do me a favour. Try something else as a distraction. Something more up-beat, more positive, more illuminating. I swear to you, it WILL make a difference.
Quinch Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 When I had my depression a few years ago I couldn't listen to comedy because in a strange way I didn't want to laugh. "Fun" was what other people had and I didn't feel like I was a part of that world. I felt excluded from it. So I used to listen to a lot of opera instead and that helped a lot. Even now, I try to avoid watching too much news because it is just too depressing.
Surfer Dude Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 At night i have to sleep with the tv on in my room with a timer set to turn off or else ill feel extremely lonely. It feels like a ton of bricks hits me every time i wake up too, as if the reality that my gf broke up with hits me every time i awake. When i wake up is the time when i most feel like sh*t. God i hate this... its been 3 wks since she dumped me. It's completely normal. Weeks after my gf dumped me, I felt like I was hit by a train every time I woke up. I dreaded going to sleep because I know I'd be in terrible shock when I woke up in the morning. But time helps. This terrible feeling will go away soon, don't worry. It's perfectly normal.
marlena Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 You are not pathetic just completely normal. Mornings are always the hardest as it is at that exact moment when awareness sets in that the problem hits you in the face like a whip lash. It takes time for those morning blues to go away. Nothing wrong with falling asleep with the TV on. I have done it many times. Break ups are tough and there's nothing really you can do but find ways that help you deal with it even if it means just waiting out the pain. There is no set rule for every one. Each person deals with it in his/her own way.
lonelygurl Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 You are not pathetic!!! You are lonely and hurting very badly!!! The first time my X dumped me I couldn't sleep in our bed for over 3 months. I couldn't stand it, it only made me cry. So I had to sleep on the couch with the TV on. This time he dumped me I can sleep in the bed but i do have to fall asleep with the TV on and set the timer. Please don't feel you are pathetic because you are doing something to help your through your pain. You are find ways to cope and there is nothing wrong with that. you have to do what you can to try to get through every moment of each day. It is not easy, I know your pain. I am in it again my self. Take care!
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm going through a break up also and I do much the same types of things.It's been a little over a month since we broke up and I would listen to the most depressing music out there that I could find just because I wanted to listen to people who could relate to my self wallowing. I have gotten better though through time. I've tryed to look at the situation from a logical perspective and I'm not nearly as bad as what I was, though I'm not all the way better either. You're not pathetic, you're a human being who has feelings and who loves and right now you're feeling hurt. Do whatever you can to get you're mind off of her because I think that that'll be the only way that you (and I) will be able to get over this situation. I wouldn't listen to the news though, but that's because I find it to depressing and to boring. Keep you're head up buddy, it can ony get better when you've hit the bottom.
jc Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I feel the same way in the morning...I think my brain almost forgets that the break up has happened during the night and then I wake up and I think "Oh yeah, C is gone. That wasn't just a horrible dream". And then day goes on, slowly and painfully. I usually feel better by the evening (although last night I felt horrible the entire night). Sometimes I don't want to go to sleep until really really late because I feel so good and positive and I can't bear to have to wake up again the next morning feeling sad. I sometimes have the same thought, that I'm pathetic, that there are so many people in the world dealing with things waaay worse than a break up. But that doesn't make me feel any better. I still feel my own pain. And then I just feel sad that there is so much pain in the rest of the world. Some people seem to bounce back really quickly after a break up...some people (like most of us posing in LS) seem to be more sensitive and to feel the grief very distinctly. Or maybe we're just more open and verbal about it, I don't know. But at least we know our capacity for true, deep love.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Did you ever try putting on a movie or a tv show that you really love? I personally put on an episode of house when I try and go to sleep. I have already seen every episode so it is more of just the noise and I think a tiny part of me wants to be able to disconnect from the world right now like House does.
alwayssme Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I feel the same way in the morning...I think my brain almost forgets that the break up has happened during the night and then I wake up and I think "Oh yeah, C is gone. That wasn't just a horrible dream". And then day goes on, slowly and painfully. I usually feel better by the evening (although last night I felt horrible the entire night). Sometimes I don't want to go to sleep until really really late because I feel so good and positive and I can't bear to have to wake up again the next morning feeling sad. I sometimes have the same thought, that I'm pathetic, that there are so many people in the world dealing with things waaay worse than a break up. But that doesn't make me feel any better. I still feel my own pain. And then I just feel sad that there is so much pain in the rest of the world. Some people seem to bounce back really quickly after a break up...some people (like most of us posing in LS) seem to be more sensitive and to feel the grief very distinctly. Or maybe we're just more open and verbal about it, I don't know. But at least we know our capacity for true, deep love. wow thats exactly how i used to feel in the begining of my break-up...i just realized how horrible mornings used to be. trust me it gets better. still hurts somewhat but its way less then before! hang in there!
Sysyphus28 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Don't call yourself names. It isn't good for you. I felt pathetic so many times in the last 5-7 years. In and out of relationships, and always left coping badly. Touch your face, your mouth, your eyes............feel your heartbeat, YOU are only human. Say it out loud "I am only human". You have to work on your coping skills though. We all do on this forum. We all can't go on repeating the same cycles of loss and pain. I know for one thing, that after my last battle with loneliness and victory over depression, I am fine-tuned to the process of letting go. My freind, you are going to get better. You are loved by your family, and I am sure you have close freinds. This person, is just that, one person. You will connect again with another person! Thier is more in store for you! We have to work on our coping skills and recognize WE all have to be happy with ourselves. Let me rephrase that, "We have to be happy alone with ourselves". Alone in a book, alone on a hike, alone at a concert, alone on a saturday night. It took me 5-6 months to feel better about my rotten ex.
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