DMovingForwad Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 After being in a relationship for years can a peron no longer be in love with you? Is this there dilusion of what being in love is? Why does the person stay if they are no longer in love with you? What is your definition of your significant other saying they care and love you, yet they are no longer in love with you?
Joker77 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 After being in a relationship for years can a peron no longer be in love with you? Is this there dilusion of what being in love is? Why does the person stay if they are no longer in love with you? What is your definition of your significant other saying they care and love you, yet they are no longer in love with you? I think I've realized after the past three relationships I've been in the past 4 years, people have no freaking clue what love is. They just throw the phrase "I love you" out there without having any idea what it means. It's almost the equivalent of saying "I like you".
That Emotion Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 How can you keep that love emotion last over a long legth of time? Is that possible for most people? I don't think so. If there is no commitment made, there is no reason to stay when that emotion is gone.
starzphalling Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 to me when someone says "i love you, but im not in love with you" it really means "i respect and care for you enough to not want to hurt you, however i do not feel fulfilled in this relationship and feel its taken me as far as i'm going to get" and yes, people throw "i love you around" so quickly that its sad. 2nd date, in love, engaged wtf? to me you can't say you're in love with someone until you think you know them well enough that nothing they can tell you will surprise you. if you say "i love you" and then in a conversation the next day it comes up that they hate cats, and you have 10...something tells me u jumped the gun a bit.
Yamaha Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I love you but not in-love means they never really loved you.
audrey_1 Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 to me when someone says "i love you, but im not in love with you" it really means "i respect and care for you enough to not want to hurt you, however i do not feel fulfilled in this relationship and feel its taken me as far as i'm going to get" I can agree with this. and yes, people throw "i love you around" so quickly that its sad. 2nd date, in love, engaged wtf? to me you can't say you're in love with someone until you think you know them well enough that nothing they can tell you will surprise you. if you say "i love you" and then in a conversation the next day it comes up that they hate cats, and you have 10...something tells me u jumped the gun a bit. Interesting. Haven't thought about it quite like that. I broke down and told him after a year. But, when my ex and I were together and parted ways, he kept saying... I like you I care for you very much I was and always have been drawn to you You've become a big part of my life He never told me he loved me, or that he was in love with me...ever.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I think it is possible to love someone and then fall out of love. Example: You date someone, you fall in love, then later they begin doing meth or hit you. You will fall out because of actions they did. One example. They can still love you in a caring way, but not be "in love" with you.
Yamaha Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I think it is possible to love someone and then fall out of love. Example: You date someone, you fall in love, then later they begin doing meth or hit you. You will fall out because of actions they did. One example. They can still love you in a caring way, but not be "in love" with you. These are choices. You can choose to not be with somone but if you truly love someone you can't stop feeling love even if they disappoint you. You just choose to go on without them in your life.
lovingalways Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I agree with some of the posts above. People throw the word "i love you" just like that. It freaks me out. If someone told me they loved me in the first 6 months, I would freak out and run in the opposite direction because I would know that THAT person must be lying. It is called "infatuation". You can't possibly love a person in the first couple of days, weeks, etc. (UNLESS you've been friends for YEARS and then in developed into a relationship - then I can see where the whole "I love you" comes in) because you DON'T KNOW them well enough. I agree 100% with starzphalling. And I also don't believe that you can fall out of love. I was discussing this with my current bf and he said that if you say something like "i fell out of love" it means that you never really, truly loved them. Because to love someone means to not judge them, to accept them for whom they are, not try to change them and really, how can you possibly fall out of love if this person is exactly the same as they were? Of course, unless something drastic happens where their whole personality shifts or they cheat on you or something like that. So for me "I love you" and "I'm in love with you" are exactly the same thing, said differently. And honestly, I have used both of these, but now that I think about it, I don't think I truly ever loved anyone (don't get me wrong: I love my friends and I love my family... i mean in a relationship). I think I'm also guilty of using that word without actually meaning it.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 These are choices. You can choose to not be with somone but if you truly love someone you can't stop feeling love even if they disappoint you. You just choose to go on without them in your life. It is always funny when people use the word "truly" and the word "love" in the same sentence, as if all the other were fake. It implies unconditional. If you love someone and the relationship is so bad at the end that you only care love them for their well being, that to me is loving someone but falling out of in love. Unconditional only works for awhile until reality and life sets in.That's why so many relationships end after about 6 months. Partners fall out of love from not being able to weather the storms. Edit: Might be good to mentioned I'm somewhat hardened by the recent breakup. I'm not arguing about the subject. Just my current point of view at this time.
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