How to deal with living in the same household after a break-up?

[DMovingForwad]

Please offer anything..I don't really have anyone to talk to!

 

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I was in a 4 year relationship as of a day an a half ago. Engaged two and some months. We never set a date. He bought the house, Supposedly for our future. I gave up my place and moved into the house. We have been living together a little over two years. We had an argument 1 day ago, and told me he is done with this relationship. This last argument lit the fuse on the bomb and it exploded. Like any other relationship we have our problems, but I was under the impression that we were going to work things out. He feels like He does not make me happy, nor is he no longer happy. He also went onto say that he feels like we are not compatible Prior to that we had been sleeping in different rooms for about two weeks now. This break –up to me came out of nowhere….we were suppose to be working things out..how is this working things out? Some of you may say if you are sleeping separately then this should not of come out of nowhere. Again we had a conversation were we were going to try and make the relationship work. Yet, I did not see any trying other than him coming home directly from work and going into his man room where he stayed. I asked him was he having a mid life crisis. He said maybe, he just knows what he does not want for 2009. Later on that night he came to me and gave me a hug and we said that he cared for me. He also gave me a massage like no other and did intimate stuff to me without intercourse. I told him that he was sending mixed message. I will have to accept the breakup. I got a Storage today and trying to cope the best I can. He indicates that I can stay until I get myself together/place/relocation of job equipment. . We have been talking but various emotions arise from sadness to anger on both our parts. I also said if what we have been doing is getting the same results, let's go to a counselor. He said "no" things are not going to change. This whole situation is getting awkward. I am trying to get the hell out fast as I can! I too know some of you will say why did you move with him without being married. That is the choice I made. Say it has been a learning experience. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[starzphalling]

i have personally never gotten to this point in a relationship, but from the outside looking in. if you have to life together, broken up the most obvious thing to me, is keeping boundries. sleep seperately for sure, no sex, no sexual stuffs. in that way treat him like a roommate because that is what you are right now. it will just make things worse and more confusing and just plain old bad. you are either a couple and get to do couply things, or you're not and you don't.

 

ok thats my two cents, beyond that, i have no clue, and won't even pretend that i do. good luck.

[Goatsbreath]

Hey DMovingForward, I had a similar situation although she moved in with me, same apartment and now wants to end it. She is moving out but it took about a month so It was really hard as I wanted her back. She was off doing new single things, seeing someone else, etc. So, I had to sit back and look at all her stuff in the apartment as she did pay half the rent and I didnt have the money to give it back and say get the hell out.

 

Anyway, to make things a bit easier I spent a lot of time out with friends and did not come home. I would pack a bag and stay gone for a few nights only coming back to get more clothes and such. I had a real great friend during this time and I stayed at her house, did laundry there, etc. Right now I am at my parents, about a hour away visiting for Christmas.

 

Alls I can say is that its better to get away then have to stay and look at stuff that brings memories. Also, It killed me to know that she would sometimes not come home at nights. Sigh, this was after two years of being very considerate, always coming home and such. It was a big change to swallow and very hard on me. I hope the best to you.