lonelygurl Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 The pain is never ending and relentless. I never get a break. I have been vomiting on and off. I'm hardly sleeping. I spend most of my time watching movies to distract myself. Only getting the bare minimum done around the house. It has been almost 4 weeks since he left a note that he couldn't take my depression anymore. and I'm still wallowing in pain. Why is it so hard to accept that someone no longer loves you or wants to be with you. We have had to still have contact to do with money and the last bit of his stuff. I hope to have that finalized this weekend and then hope to have my email address closed. Getting my email address closed has been complicated. When I tried to close it already it says it can't because it is linked to other stuff. I've tried to figure everything out. One thing is my sons world of warcraft account. It is in my X's name. I called and they said he could call and tell them it is okay to have it in my name so I can change the info ie email address and stuff. He says he called and they told him they can't. So I called back and they said again that they can do it. I have not heard back. I don't know if he is just saying this because he knows I plan to close my email and when I do he will have no way to contact me. I know last week he said we could talk about things but he has made no attempt to do this. His emails are simply to the point about what needs to be done. Clearly he is not missing me. I need closure to try to move on from this. It is going to take a very long time. I was with this man for a total of seven years and he just walks out leaving a note. I don't know what to do to stop feeling so distraught and depressed. I try to do little things but it isn't really helping much. I am in therapy for my depression. How do you get through this horrible pain??????
PinkToes Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 If you're like me, you start thinking there must be something you can do to make the pain go away; it starts to feel like you're totally stuck and will never feel better. But even when it feels like you aren't making any progress, you really are. Every day that you survive -- even if you can't do anything but watch the minutes tick by -- brings you another day closer to feeling OK again. Depression can definitely make it harder. And one of the nasty things depression can do is taint your view of the future. It becomes even more difficult to imagine a positive future. It's there, but you just can't see it or feel it. That makes it even more important to look after yourself now, even in small ways. Do things that you find comforting and don't worry about cleaning the house or accomplishing anything else. Be gentle with yourself when it feels like you aren't getting anywhere. I wish it were possible to make the painful feelings go away, but as they say, the only way out of the darkness is through it. You will get through this; keep reminding yourself of that. When you go to bed at night, give yourself credit for surviving. You will be OK, there are better days ahead. Take care.
Author lonelygurl Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 Thank you pinktoes for such sound advice. You are right even though it doesn't seem like I'm moving forward I'm sure I probably am. Depression is nasty. I've been dealing with it a long time and this has made it harder. Thankfully I am in therapy attempting to learn skills to deal with stuff, but in high times of such stress it is very difficult, but I often wonder how much worse I might be if I wasn't in therapy right now. Thank you again!
jc Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Hi Lonelygirl, I've also suffered from depression. I had a major depressive episode back in March and was going through a lot of the same things you are (vomiting, inability to get things done, etc.), except without a break up on top of it. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Are you on medication? I've tried not being on meds, but it doesn't work for me. Anti-depressants have been a god-send. I also went to therapy, which helped to an extent. It's interesting because the break up I'm going through now feels A LOT like the depression I went through in March. Difficulty eating, sleeping, upset stomach, feel 10x worse in the morning and usually start to feel more positive by the evening, obsessive thoughts, etc. It's terrible, it really is. I know it's difficult (and I'm struggling to do the same things right now), but try getting out of the house and just going for a walk, even once a day. And when you have the negative thoughts, try to just observe them and let them pass you by, rather than engaging with them and getting attached to them. You will get better, I promise. xxx
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