zilverenvlinder Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 It's been a month since my two year relationship has ended. I just today moved all of my crap out of our shared apartment. Last Friday, I decided to have a little fun to take my mind off Douchebag McGee. I asked this insanely gorgeously hot coworker, Jake, if he wanted to go to the bar with my friend Anne and I. He happily agreed and brought some of his friends as well. It was a fun drunken time. By the end of the evening, Jake and I were holding hands and kissing a little bit and being sloppily drunk together. At the end of the night, I had to take Anne home so I left it at that. The next evening, I called up Jake and asked him if he wanted to watch the game with me the next day. He again happily agreed and I went over to his house on Sunday. So we watched the game together early in the day, got a little bit drunk and ended up making out on the couch. So making out turned into some sex and stuff. YES, yes, I am being a sluttish ho, but he is insanely gorgeous and I just needed some action. I left Sunday night and haven't seen him until work today, when he sort of smiled at me and kind of asked what my plans were for tomorrow. Kind of. Now, if we were going along with the initial plan, which is 1) have fun 2) get laid by someone hot, and 3) leave him on a corner somewhere, I would have definitely succeeded. Unfortunately, now I'm starting to like the guy. -_- A lot. He ended up being smart and funny and cool and normal, and likes all the same things I do, and I'm starting to really want to maybe, I don't know... DATE him or something. But ha. Now I've really f*$%ked it up by f$(*king him, haven't I. This is fabulous. Another good thing ruined, by me. If I had just kept my damn legs closed my life might be a little bit less sh*tty and dramatic. Now I'm starting to get this little tingly feeling just thinking about him. What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to remedy this situation? He probably just wanted to have sex with me once too, and now I'm just another notch on his post. I don't want to scare him off by telling him I like him or anything. Arghh. What is the next step, people? AGHH I HATE DATING, I am sooo not used to this.
Padthai Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 If you were broken up and planning on moving out why is this an issue? You should tell him how you feel, so you know how he feels. It was a slutty thing to do, but as far as being a slut goes, you didn't cheat. So that's good I don't know why you think you f**ked up so bad.
johan Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 If you like him, then hang out with him and do whatever seems appropriate. Don't change the rules on him by either 1) freaking out or 2) telling him how you feel. Keep a lid on that until some time has passed and you can tell by your and his actions that there is something real to talk about.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 You didn't mess it up really. I've actually known a few relationships that started from one night stands. They found out they had some stuff in common and actually enjoyed the company and it went from there. Don't freak out play it calm and just take the clues and work from there. It sounds like the guy is at least direct enough give you the clues you need.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Yes - I agree with Johan. Do NOT freak out and do NOT tell him your "feelings." That would in turn freak HIM out. Just try hanging out with him and keeping things casual. No way to tell if anything is "ruined" until you get a chance to go out again. I wouldn't be open to jumping BACK into bed with him or he might get the message that you are all about the sex. Make dates where there's no possibility to jump into the sack at the end. Try getting to know each other a little better with clothes on to see if there really is something there. Because honestly, sleeping with a guy so early on can be hard for a woman because of the freaking bonding hormone. It can make you think there IS something more there when there really isn't.
rluv Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 If you find yourself alone with him, simply explain that although you're very (very) attracted to him, it was VERY unusual to do what you did, and that you're not too far out of a relationship, and would he like to maybe slow it down a bit? The genie is out of the bottle, if you were to continue seeing him, but it doesn't have to be the dominating ingredient force in the relationship. If you explain this to him, it will test him to see if he is maybe truly interested in getting to know you as a person. Good luck!!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 It's been a month since my two year relationship has ended. I just today moved all of my crap out of our shared apartment. Last Friday, I decided to have a little fun to take my mind off Douchebag McGee. I asked this insanely gorgeously hot coworker, Jake, if he wanted to go to the bar with my friend Anne and I. He happily agreed and brought some of his friends as well. It was a fun drunken time. By the end of the evening, Jake and I were holding hands and kissing a little bit and being sloppily drunk together. At the end of the night, I had to take Anne home so I left it at that. The next evening, I called up Jake and asked him if he wanted to watch the game with me the next day. He again happily agreed and I went over to his house on Sunday. So we watched the game together early in the day, got a little bit drunk and ended up making out on the couch. So making out turned into some sex and stuff. YES, yes, I am being a sluttish ho, but he is insanely gorgeous and I just needed some action. I left Sunday night and haven't seen him until work today, when he sort of smiled at me and kind of asked what my plans were for tomorrow. Kind of. Now, if we were going along with the initial plan, which is 1) have fun 2) get laid by someone hot, and 3) leave him on a corner somewhere, I would have definitely succeeded. Unfortunately, now I'm starting to like the guy. -_- A lot. He ended up being smart and funny and cool and normal, and likes all the same things I do, and I'm starting to really want to maybe, I don't know... DATE him or something. But ha. Now I've really f*$%ked it up by f$(*king him, haven't I. This is fabulous. Another good thing ruined, by me. If I had just kept my damn legs closed my life might be a little bit less sh*tty and dramatic. Now I'm starting to get this little tingly feeling just thinking about him. What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to remedy this situation? He probably just wanted to have sex with me once too, and now I'm just another notch on his post. I don't want to scare him off by telling him I like him or anything. Arghh. What is the next step, people? AGHH I HATE DATING, I am sooo not used to this. What I want to know, is how many people totally envy your problems??
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