my final note before '09

[shesmiles]

Yeah, I have my moments ...

where I don't want to do anything - be apart of anything

and all my motivation disappears .

Yeah, I think about you ...

all the memories of the good and bad fload my head

and I sit there for hours drowning in your memory

sometimes even for days .

Yeah, I miss you ...

not as much as I did before but I do and I can admit it

I miss how my life used to be with you, it's hard when family

asks about you ... and when my mom says she misses you randomly

but in reality .. if I had a choice to keep my new life or go back ...

I'd keep my new life, because as much as I miss you it'll never be the same

and we both know that .

Yeah, I feel guilty ...

for ruinning what we had because it wasn't all bad, we had some amazing times

and I feel sorry for hurting you so many times, even though you hurt me so much more.

I don't hold a grudge on you for any of the pain I'm suffering from

or any pain you've caused ... you made me a better person in the end

Yeah, I'll never forget you ...

as much as I may want to at times, Deep inside you'll always be in the back of my head

and since almost everything reminds me of you, I don't think you'll be leaving that spot

for a very long time ... but that's fine and I've learned to accept it

Yeah, I am hurting alot right now ...

but as much as I'm hurting, I'm glad it's happening now so soon it can be over and I'll be fine ...

and maybe I can actually look back on us and smile and realise that

the relationship wasn't so bad, the heartache was .. but it was worth it

someways or another ...

Yeah, I'll move on ...

eventually I'll be stable enough to be with someone else

without thinking about you, or crying over you ...

someday I will be able to say I am over the pain, but you'll still be there in my head

and in my heart, because three years is an awfully long time

for two out of control teenagers, but we did it .

 

 

 

get eeeeeeeeeer done kid, we'll both be fine .