Mio Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Well, let me put your mind at ease. Get another image of me. Last time I checked they don't want black klan members. LOL!!!! Touché. I hope the OP is doing OK. Seemed like a pretty messed up situation. Yeah, I noticed how the hospital story didn't pan out. In some ways, that might be a good thing.
Walk Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Walk, I'm not saying that your ex-husband wasn't a louse. Maybe he was. But why didn't you just leave him instead of having an affair? Very long story... but one example: he threaten to kill himself (saying he would while implying the shotgun was loaded in the closet). he called my work about a 100 times til my boss threatened to fire me if it didn't stop, then my exh showed up where I was staying in the middle of the night and started balling and begging me not to leave him. I'm not a very good person.. I know that, but he made me feel so guilty and like such a rotten and horrible person that I'd cave to what he wanted, and I'd go back. I cheated. I'm not proud of it. It was dead wrong of me to do. I wouldn't take that path again if my life depended on it. As for him pounding you for two minutes, did you ever think of lubing up your finger and giving him a rough rectal exam while he was sleeping? That would have evened the score, don't you think? I suppose you'd also have to give yourself a real orgasm afterward too. Maybe you could have used a toy for that. But anyway, I imagine it would have violated him about the same as he violated you. Like I want to stick my finger up some guys butt hole. My luck, he would've enjoyed it and wanted me to do it to him all the time.
Author louiep Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 well im back checked it out and she is in fine health there are no signs of a beating i found out her man is going to prison for a p vialation now shes so sorry
Reggie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Back up, move on, and let her think about the parking lot she made of the last 16 years of her life. I would, however, hazard to say that your depression and problems with obesity may have been contributing factors driving her unhappiness so accept your role in the demise of your relationship but take no responsibility for your wife's decison to betray the marriage by having an affair. BTW, what steps have you taken to rectify your own personal dilemma's because without significant change unto yourself you cannot expect others around you to accept you as you want to be smply because you are who you are if you have a choice in the matter! The question that begs then is given the choice would you change? To quote Yoda, "There is no try ... only do"! Look, the guy has an illness. He never said he did not take steps to address it. Is becoming ill a "contributing factor" in the demise of his marriage? Or, don't you recognize depression as a bonafide illness? Lighten up. Don't just assume he did nothing to address his illness.
Author louiep Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 i think he dumped her from what im hearing ill let you guys know more later on thank yall for advice and support
carhill Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 OP, it's probably really hard to do right now, but focus on yourself. Is there a family member or friend you can talk to today? Your wife has made some choices. Right now, they are her truth. You can accept her path but not participate in it. I suggest you resist any contact for now. Is therapy available to you?
vnqsh2001 Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Very long story... but one example: he threaten to kill himself (saying he would while implying the shotgun was loaded in the closet). he called my work about a 100 times til my boss threatened to fire me if it didn't stop, then my exh showed up where I was staying in the middle of the night and started balling and begging me not to leave him. I'm not a very good person.. I know that, but he made me feel so guilty and like such a rotten and horrible person that I'd cave to what he wanted, and I'd go back. Yeah, I'm familiar with the controlling techniques people use to get what they want. I know it isn't easy to escape the tight grip of emotional manipulation. People get desperate. I cheated. I'm not proud of it. It was dead wrong of me to do. I wouldn't take that path again if my life depended on it. Live and learn. That's pretty big of you to say that. I admire your fortitude. Like I want to stick my finger up some guys butt hole. My luck, he would've enjoyed it and wanted me to do it to him all the time. Yeah, I thought you might say that, but I can't think of a ruder way to be awakened from a good dream or a deep sleep. Maybe you should have gotten yourself off with some toys and then proceeded to tell him how much better the toys were than the real thing because he never tried to give you pleasure. It might have given him something to prove or at least shaken him up a bit.
Author louiep Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 thanks but i dont need therapy right now but the nc is looking good right now
vnqsh2001 Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 thanks but i dont need therapy right now but the nc is looking good right now You are in need of something, Louie. If ever there was time you needed help in your life, this is it. It won't make you weaker to turn to others for some support.
Author louiep Posted January 2, 2009 Author Posted January 2, 2009 this board can be my therapy right now i feel so numb or in a daze she calling and texting every minute for me to come get her and talk i told her to f o and that i was the one that needed space now it been a long month for me
65tr6 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 no judgement here but did you have better orgasm with the lover is it true about forbidden fruit . or was sex not really the issue and you craved attention . can some of you ladies help me to figure out what i did wrong and why she did what she did im in alot of pain tonight while my woman is with another for women, sex is not the primary motive. Emotional crap/support/need is what they are looking for. But sex that follows a good emotional support can be heavenly. Remember, it is new person, new place, new everything. So dont beat up yourself too badly as sex being the primary factor. (may it is for some).
65tr6 Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 thanks but i dont need therapy right now but the nc is looking good right now glad you feel that way. I thought i could never get through this on my own, but after few weeks, being here, reading up like crazy, looking for scientific explanations (!) for all this helped me tremendously to start to think clearly. So hang in there.
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Don't forget to go to the clinic to get tested for STDs. Afterall, this guy is going to jail and probably has been there before catching all sorts of nasty things. You might want to tell your wife to do the same. Tell her if she wants any hope of coming back you'll need to see a clean bill of health.
Dexter Morgan Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 no judgement here but did you have better orgasm with the lover is it true about forbidden fruit . or was sex not really the issue and you craved attention . can some of you ladies help me to figure out what i did wrong and why she did what she did im in alot of pain tonight while my woman is with another Then why in gods name would you even ask these questions if you are in pain? Nothing they come back with is going to help. It will only make it worse. What you need to do is get rid of the source of that pain and get rid of this ditch pig of a "woman".
LostNLonely Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Then why in gods name would you even ask these questions if you are in pain? Nothing they come back with is going to help. It will only make it worse. What you need to do is get rid of the source of that pain and get rid of this ditch pig of a "woman". Dexter, this is on a separate topic, sorry LouieP, but I need to buck-up, man-up and sack-up. I think if I were to spend a little time with you, share my story, your brand of truth-telling could heal me completely! I positively love the ditch this pig of a woman line (tremendous!) Consider me a fan DEX!!!
LostNLonely Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 A ditch pig...beautiful buddy, you got skills!
Dexter Morgan Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 Dexter, this is on a separate topic, sorry LouieP, but I need to buck-up, man-up and sack-up. I think if I were to spend a little time with you, share my story, your brand of truth-telling could heal me completely! I positively love the ditch this pig of a woman line (tremendous!) Consider me a fan DEX!!! Well I might burst your bubble just a little bit. I was in the same shock and desperation as alot of guys when they found out their wives were nothing of the sort. It took a few weeks to get my head clear. Once the anger stage set in and subsided was when I knew what had to be done. So I didn't man up right away to be honest, but when the fog lifted, I grew a set of cahones that would choke an elephant. So if I can help anyone grow a set, then great. Been there, done that, and wouldn't want anyone else to look back on their whipped pup days in disgust.
Author louiep Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 thanks guys the check she borrow came avaible today she paided me my half of the mh equity and i told her i didnt want to try again . i just cant live with her after all of this . my mother has a extra room in her house and she needs the company and i need the quiet plus its in another county 65 miles away i know thiers a lot of tough days ahead . 16 years is a long time to spend with a person but i will be ok . i havent kept up with my daughers in a long time theyre grown . i have 2 grandsons also . i will probally stay with mom to i get staighten out . then may move out if i meet someone special. who knows not me for sure . i need to lose some weight or i probally want have to worry about a women . i had 1 for 8 years and 1 for 16 years now if i can find 1 for 24years ill be alright lol talk to yall soon louiep
Author louiep Posted January 4, 2009 Author Posted January 4, 2009 thanks bnb all the best to you also and everyone else
Recommended Posts