MRevolver Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Back in November, I got asked to lunch by a gentleman who patronizes my workplace. After a little persuading (he'd asked a couple of times prior to that day) I finally agree. So I wait and am actually kinda excited about it all but low and behold, he didn't show up. And well normally that would be the end of the story but not with this guy! Instead he comes back in a whole month later to 'surprise me' and see how my Christmas went. He then preceeded to give me his number and told me to call him . Never once bringing up the fact he stood me up. So what is with that?? Is this guy interested or just plain odd? I completely didn't expect to see him and would have asked what happenend but I was just so dumbfounded, I couldn't say much of anything. Also, this guy's a little bit older than me (15 yrs, he's 43). Did he maybe just get cold feet?
bozwa Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Anything could have happened to keep him from showing up, but you are right to be leery on it since he didn't say word one to you about it after the fact. No apology? No nothin? Weird. I'd keep your eyes open on this one. If it should happen to be necessary at some point, I would ask what's up before you happen to agree to go out with him again. I think you are entitled to know why he wasted your time and a few of your emotions.
runner Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 ignore the absent minded flake. i'd wouldn't put up with that crap. a true 'gent' would've apologised immediately.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Don't hurt to call and ask. And if his answer doesn't sound genuine and sincere then lose his number.
CBR_pilot Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 What it means is that he doesn't respect you. I wouldn't give him another chance. Obviously, many things could have come up, but there's absolutely no excuse for not even calling to let you know. Move on...
That Emotion Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 IMO, you should not call him. You should lose the number. If anything, he should be asking for YOUR number if he truly has interest. Plus, if he truly has interest he'll continue the pursuit and somewhere in there you'll find out what happened. My guess is that he did get cold feet. If it was something 'real' that stopped him, he would have been up front about it. He didn't just forget either. If he'd asked a couple times and you caved and said yes, he didn't just forget about that. He got cold feet. If you're interested in him, you need to find out why but you may not want to press it on him too harshly. If you're not interested, well, I'm sure you don't need advice from there.
nicki Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Don't call him. Is he all about you putting in the effort? If he comes into your workplace and asks you out again for lunch, say "How do I know you will show up this time? You stood me up last time." Then wait and hear what he says. I wouldn't worry about it being rude. It was rude to stand you up, see you later and then never explain it.
Left in a Lurch Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My guess is that he is really a woman. Women do these things all the time. He is probably dating other people and if you are interested, you need to prove to him why you are better than the other women he is dating. If you are not interested, don't call. I can tell you that him not showing up probably upped your interest level in him by about 50%, so it was a good move on his part.
BCCA Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 It means he's an inconsiderate douche, and meeting up with you wasn't all that important to him. On top of that, the fact that he just didnt mention it means, to me at least, that he was ok with standing you up and would probably do it again. Sadly, I know a lot of people like this. They just kind of dont think past the next 5 minutes or how what they do could effect someone else. I would just tell him you have him a chance, and he blew it. Maybe next time he should think twice about standing someone up. Thats incredibly rude.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 What a jerk. He wouldn't be worth a phone call in my book. Probably he got a better offer on the day he was supposed to meet up with you. Since then, that better offer fell through and you are what's left. His number would go straight into the round file if it were me.
Author MRevolver Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 So apparently I'm just as "forgetful" as he is because come to think of it, he DID mention us going to lunch again when he came in to visit the other day. But not in the sense of "hey sorry I stood you up..." but rather it was to the effect of "I won't bug you about lunch today since you don't feel well (I was sick that day) but here's my cell and my home phone. Give me a call sometime." Not sure if that changes anything or not. Could just be him still playing some sort of game or could have been his way of trying to make amends. But still, you'd think he'd just apologize! Either way thanks again for everyone's advice so far!
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