wooha Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 I was a happy 22 yo guy, livin life. I met this girl, tried for months and finally got her, never been more happy. We were together for 7 months and got engaged. We went on trips, I gave her a beautiful ring, devoted my life to her. She knew when we were dating that there would be a prenup for my familys business(not my personal assets) and was ok w/that-get to it later. We bought a home, I settled down to be with the love of my life. I'm a rancher and I work long hours during the summer, and shes a teacher-no job during the summer. Most nights when I came home there was no dinner, she was bitching about everything she had to do and it wore me down. When it came time to get married, the prenup came up, and she refused for weeks and finally agreed 2 weeks before the "wedding of the decade". However, 4 days before our wedding she balked and I lost it, I called it off. I just could'nt do it because it seemed that she was too worried about money, mind you this was not a requirement of mine but of the boss. I figured that if it meant our lives would be better, she should sign it(no need to shoot ourselves in the foot) but she would'nt. I just wanted to marry her and spend the rest of our lives together. After 2 months of on and off, we traded words, and she f-ed someone else. I am heartbroken, all I think about is her and what it could have been. I've offered to do whatever I had to do for her to come back, and she says no-even though we spent the weekend together and had sex and everything, even though I forgave her for sleeping with that guy, she is as cold as ice. I dont know what to do, how did it come to this? All I wanted was her, and all she cares about is drinking and hanging with her friends.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 We were together for 7 months and got engaged. Well, I could call the stupidity out on this 100x over. You rushed things. And it sounded like you were in love with the idea of love. Because true love isn't built in 7 months. This doesn't sound really real. That's why she's able to do what she is doing. Logic has caught up to her before you. What have you become? You haven't became anything. Get a grip dude you were in lust.
starzphalling Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 pre-nups are delicate in my opinion. its all about trust, and one can argue both ways, if you trust each other you don't need it, but if you trust each other what does it matter if you sign it because everything will be fine, but i digress. no matter how much you love her, from the outside looking in, she's not good enough for you. do you really want to have to forgive "the love of your life" for bumping uglies with someone else? i don't see how you would ever be able to trust her, she's given you no reason to. I can say with 99% certainty, the relationship will never be what you want it to be or idealize it as. No matter what you are willing to do, she has to be willing to go just as far, relationships are not all up to one person. You are hurt, and its expected, you got hit by an emotional semi truck. But for yourself, grieve through it and let her go. One day you will be better for it, and be able to see what i can see just from what you've said. You are the same person you were before, just with more experiences. Right now you feel lost, and maybe like you've lost a part of yourself - work through this, and find the good, find what you learned. Its one thing i've always done and it helps me, find what good came out of the relationship for you. I'm sorry if this post seems cold, but I do not deal well with people that cheat - its a personal weakness in themselves. Everyone has looked at someone else, everyone has probably thought about it - but why do some of us have the strength to know whats right, and others give in to whimsical moments and crush the rest of us.
Recommended Posts