zippy13 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Well, here's the situation. I've known this girl for about 2 years. We currently work together and see each other pretty often. We often break together, talk while we work, and even text each other outside of work. To be straight up, I really like this girl and wish we can be more than just friends. To be honest, I love this girl. She has really changed my life...I know it sounds dramatic, but I can't help it. I often think about her everyday and she's the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. Sadly, she has a boyfriend and I really want to shake my feelings for her, but I can't. I want to let her know how I feel, I want her to know that I would be there for her, I want to just hold her in my arms and let her know how much I love her and how much she has changed my life. I just don't know how I should do it. should I write her a note? text her? or just tell her straight out? I just don't want to ruin our friendship.
D-Lish Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Honestly? I wouldn't jump into letting her know how you feel while she is dating someone else. I'd pull back and play the aloof/disinterested guy for a while and see where that takes you. It's not advice to play games- it's advice to protect your own heart.
Author zippy13 Posted December 30, 2008 Author Posted December 30, 2008 Do you think I would hurt anything in our friendship? I'm just sick of being in the friend zone. I just wanna tell her in case the day comes she does break up with her man, I'll be there
whichwayisup Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Do you think I would hurt anything in our friendship? I'm just sick of being in the friend zone. I just wanna tell her in case the day comes she does break up with her man, I'll be there You want to ruin the friendship and the dynamic, tell her. Trust me, it'll change everything and you'll either end up helping her cheat on her boyfriend, become the OM (other man) and get hurt badly, or she'll distance herself from you. Do yourself a favour, don't say a word. IF and WHEN they break up, allow her time to grieve and get over things, then you tell her how you feel. To tell beforehand while she's with someone already, is pointless and I have to say, selfish of you as well. I mean, how do you expect her to react and feel, since she has a boyfriend. Reverse the situation, what if she was very into you, and you had a girlfriend. I'm sure you would be irked that your so-called good friend told you that she was inlove with you. You can be there for her when/if they break up. Not before.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Well, here's the situation. I've known this girl for about 2 years. We currently work together and see each other pretty often. We often break together, talk while we work, and even text each other outside of work. To be straight up, I really like this girl and wish we can be more than just friends. To be honest, I love this girl. She has really changed my life...I know it sounds dramatic, but I can't help it. I often think about her everyday and she's the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. Sadly, she has a boyfriend and I really want to shake my feelings for her, but I can't. I want to let her know how I feel, I want her to know that I would be there for her, I want to just hold her in my arms and let her know how much I love her and how much she has changed my life. I just don't know how I should do it. should I write her a note? text her? or just tell her straight out? I just don't want to ruin our friendship. No, of course you shouldn't tell her. You are in "the Friend Zone", probably forever. This becomes a question about whether you want to further distance yourself from her involuntarily, which is what her reaction will most likely be when you fess your undying love for her while she has a boyfriend. At such time as when she might part ways with that boyfriend, she may well come to you for the renewed confidence she will want and need at such a time, but if you switch roles at that point, you'll be doomed then as well. The question becomes: Do you wish to retain her friendship long-term, or not?
runner Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 no, don't even allude to anything. i think you really need to decide for yourself if you can truly be just friends with this girl, and if you can't, keep your distance and find another friend. even if she were not in a relationship, who's to say that she even wants to date you ?
Author zippy13 Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 no, don't even allude to anything. i think you really need to decide for yourself if you can truly be just friends with this girl, and if you can't, keep your distance and find another friend. even if she were not in a relationship, who's to say that she even wants to date you ? Well, what should I do? she often texts me and what not...do I just stop responding to her texts and not talk to her at work?
D-Lish Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 I think you just have to decide for yourself if you want to be her friend or not. While she is dating someone- you can't be anything else but her friend. If you tell her how you feel, it will automatically change everything. Think about whether or not you are prepared for that. I was close with a guy that revealed his romantic feelings for me... It changed our friendship. I don't speak to him now because it got so awkward.
Recommended Posts