MWH Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 We lost somebody or got dumped. We sit and think and miss the good times and if we're not careful we end up feeling sorry for ourselves, no? What did THEY lose when they lost/dumped us? My ex lost: -My stability -My honesty -My support -My fidelity -My respect -My awesome cooking -My humor -My companionship/friendship -My dogs -My family -good lovin' -My laid-back style -The cool stuff we did -Coffee in bed -The awesome lunches I would pack her for work -Notes on the mirror -Little gifts for no reason othe than to lift her spirits -Amazing massages -My yard/property -A good role model for her boys -Doing the brakes on her truck, etc -All the cool things I HAVEN'T turned her on to yet- cool places, things to do, etc. -My friends -My ability and wilingness to step out of my comfort zone for her -My patience And......... -The love of a damn good man. Dang! If I keep this up I'm liable to start thinking that I'm a catch lol! Peace, MWH
Helioz Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 you my man, ARE THE MAN! Just because one crazy chick didnt know how to appreciate the good things doesn't mean that there isnt somebody out there who will. And by the looks of it, if i was a chick or gay for that matter id say your a pretty damn good catch haha!
jc Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My ex lost: My deep love for him My acceptance of him (his pot smoking, his farting, etc.) My support My ability to deal with his irritability Great sex The connection between us that was there from the first date My sense of adventure My drive to get up and go and do new things Having me hold him at night Having me cook for him My sense of humor My ability to compromise My intelligence My financial responsibility My ability to be independent My group of friends (as he had few of his own) Talking to me about everything and anything Our plans for a great future together My dog Planning healthy meals for him Going out on the boat in the summer Relaxing together My loyalty and fidelity What I lost: His sense of humor, great sex, our plans for the future, his financial stability, his zero-tolerance attitude to cheating. AND: His constant farting. And I mean constant. His extreme irritability that he acknowledged but blamed on his father. His stinginess with money. His desire to sit on the couch and watch tv, sleep and go on the computer and not much else. His negative comments about women as cheaters, money diggers & bad drivers. His complete lack of desire to exercise or do anything healthy for his body. His complete lack of desire to read a book. Ever. The way his job was always more important, more stressful, and more necessary than mine. His anger at past girlfriends. His anxiety. His rudeness towards my mother, which I repeatedly asked him to stop. His attitude towards money. He always wanted more of it, and even stole a few things while we were together from a store and a restaurant, despite the fact that he makes over 150,000/year. I'm sure he could make a similar list of some of my quirks and issues....but it still makes me feel better!
saturnfell Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 We lost somebody or got dumped. We sit and think and miss the good times and if we're not careful we end up feeling sorry for ourselves, no? What did THEY lose when they lost/dumped us? My ex lost: -My stability -My honesty -My support -My fidelity -My respect -My awesome cooking -My humor -My companionship/friendship -My dogs -My family -good lovin' -My laid-back style -The cool stuff we did -Coffee in bed -The awesome lunches I would pack her for work -Notes on the mirror -Little gifts for no reason othe than to lift her spirits -Amazing massages -My yard/property -A good role model for her boys -Doing the brakes on her truck, etc -All the cool things I HAVEN'T turned her on to yet- cool places, things to do, etc. -My friends -My ability and wilingness to step out of my comfort zone for her -My patience And......... -The love of a damn good man. Dang! If I keep this up I'm liable to start thinking that I'm a catch lol! Peace, MWH Wow. You are amazing. Go MWH!
Hersheys Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My ex lost - my many great qualities that OTHER people love and treasure - my willingness to make the relationship work - my ability to make him feel good when he's having a bad day - a beautiful and kind gf
Author MWH Posted December 30, 2008 Author Posted December 30, 2008 Wow. You are amazing. Go MWH! My farts (see above) are amazing too- they smell like roses ;-)
audrey_1 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My ex lost my: -deep love for him -tolerance of his anti-social personality -willingness to not judge him -intelligence -unwavering support -financial independence -companionship on outdoor excursions -generosity -great sex -sensual kisses -knowledge of wine -loyalty -NFL football patronage -wisdom -skillful conversation -willingness to smoke cigars with him -willingness to make the relationship work past the honeymoon phase I lost: -an outdoor companion -great sex -the way he appeals to me physically -his seemingly gentle nature -his patience
orangehose Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Y'know, this thread makes a good point. In comparison, all we dumpees lost were people who didn't love us anyway. That's not a bad type of person to lose. As for the OP, they need to clone guys like you
ioncebelieved Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 EVERY DAMN THING!!!!! When I was made, GOD broke the mold! He made a twin of me that was born 4 minutes later, but still not me!!! I was fantastic to my ex and in time she will see what was lost! She should already have started seeing this over the last several months too.
Gere51 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My ex lost: My stability (financially and emotionally) Willingness to listen when things were bad for her My committed love for her Great sex rubbing her shoulders in the morning making coffee for her in the mornings bringing her Gatorade in the middle of the night making sure I had enough chocolate for her when she was over cooking for her my outstanding relationship with her kids a non-smoker and drinker my intellect helping her with her studies putting together her kids' toys washing her clothes when she was over holding her at night buying her diamonds when no one had ever done that for her in her life talking to her until late hours on the phone being her best friend her dance partner an athlete that keeps himself in outstanding shape and plays several sports a non-cheater a man that never raised his voice to her or was abusive someone that was adept socially who liked all of her friends making cookies for her when she was over helping her clean up the kitchen after dinners making sure her cars were always in good shape taking her to places she never had the chance to visit before helping her kids with school projects helping her kids with math watching movies with her walking in the park with her feeding the ducks together helping her mom out when she needed it helping her best friend find a place to stay while going through a divorce my loyalty and honesty my tolerance of her quirks my tolerance of her moodiness a professional with a great career my patience with her and understanding of her single parent situation an overall good guy that loved her
EmperorR Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 -my honesty -my love -my helping her with her english -my helping her with her homework to get her damn scholaships heck i wrote her essays -my time and dedication -my money i paid for everything so she would not have to work and go to school and have time for her studies - my sacrifice when she was at school i'd travel 2 hours there 2 hours back 3-4 times a week just to see her for even ten minutes - my sacfrie again, i took my breaks my lunch at work to talk to her, i got a lower paying job with less hours and off early friday so i could be with her more and every friday was our day - my kind heart, her grandparents were sick in europe she had no money to go see them before they died, I PAID for her plane ticket and gave her pocket money and what does she do, cheats on me in europe - her cat was dying who paid the vets bill ME - a non cheater something shes not - someone who was there 24/7 for her for anything she needed - someone who was nice and sweet example i know she couldnt afford to get me a birthday gift because money was tight for her so i just asked her to sketch me a picture of me and her and it was the best gift ever barfs now - someone who when she worked in the evening 5-9 would travel from work 2 hours reach there 7 and sit in a chair until she finished then take her home to make sure she reached home safe yes i was a doormat - cranky 99% of time, yet I never was, even when i had a massive headache, even when i was dealing wiht my bouts with acid reflux and had palpitaitons thinking i was going to die, I never complained not even once, i sucked it up but her nope - her parents hated me I don't know why, yet I never said one bad thing about them at all, I respected them bought them gifts never said a ill word even when they would literally curse me in front of my face - a guy who would work overtime at work just so she chould get the book she needed for school - a guy who was full of suprirses - a guy who one time his car wasn't working and had to take the bus to go see her and the bus was so slow and she got off at 5pm, and there was no way I could make it, so I took a cab the rest of the way the cab cost 75 bucks no lie, only to have my ex "oh im so tired and go home 3 minutes later" and yet I SAID NOTHING that's how much I loved her. - a guy who never hit her, or raised his voice - a guy who stalled his education because she wanted to live together, so i worked while she went to school - a guy who got cheated on dumped, and still had nothing bad to say - my family - a guy that listened to her cry every single night and always comforted her - a guy that gave up travelling his own family, because she did not have a visa and couldn't go and instead stayed back - a guy that spent 4000 on a engagment ring - a guy that never begged or asked for sex - a guy that gave her a piggyback while i walked through a puddle and got my socks wet - a guy who truely loved and even if she became disfigured was in a coma for 20 years I would have waited hell i could go on and on and on but that's it for now
gd26 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Ouch, my heart hurts for you Emperor. You REALLY invested yourself in your relationship... I can't imagine the pain you must have gone through. Next time make sure that the give-and-take is fairly equal, as we all deserve balanced relationships with someone who loves us as much as we love him/her. You obviously have a lot of love to give, and the right woman will not only appreciate that, but will also try to make you feel special as well. Keep up the faith that you will meet that woman someday.
iwish Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 my penis, oh hang on she's got another one. (damn i'm bitter!)
sultry33 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 my ex lost ... ME Sorry cannot write more, im planning on a night out;) of course im perfection and a great guy will see that .. my ex was obvouisly blind and stupid move on already is my motto:D
Author MWH Posted December 30, 2008 Author Posted December 30, 2008 But wait! There's more! She lost (pushed away): - A man who actually gives a damn about her and not just use her for sex. - A man who is unafraid to look at himself and work on his shortcomings. - A man who is not afraid to ask for help when needed. - My quick wit- clever wordplay,funny jokes, games, etc. - My generosity. - My positive forward-looking outlook. - My amazing hugs. - Cuddling up all night - Sneaking a cup of coffee into the bathroom for when she steps out of the shower. - A guy who sold 4 guns from his collection to buy her first real diamonds for Christmas. - The kind of man she can trust. - A man who makes sure she has a gift for Mother's Day when no one else cared. - A man who spent time with her boys - A man who bragged her up even when she wasn't around to hear it. - A man who would text her with a random *hug* in the afternoon. - A man who always complimented her on her appearance. - A man who would tell a "white lie" to keep her boys out of trouble. - A man who always welcomed her upon her arrival. - The connection we had that constantly blew our minds - My understanding and appreciation of nature. - My appreciation of art, music, and the written word. - A "Good morning!" email in her inbox every morning. - A man who NEVER got cranky cuz she woke me up with a phone call. - A man who can't dance but somehow danced, naked, with her, in a warm summer breeze at dusk. - A man who appreciates fragrance be it expensive perfume or a broken pine twig. - A man who's word is as good as gold. - The best friend she ever had. Peace, MWH
blackrider27 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My ex lost everything another guy from the ****ty town i live in wouldn't give. I would go on but i could never top what Emperor went through, To go through that and still be here, being able to type it out. I have so much respect for you. God Bless.
FeedingOnFever Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Reading these posts is getting me weepy. Kudos to you all. You were so good to them and they will kick themselves for hurting you. I've made posts similar to these in other threads, so I'm not going to "wind" myself here again, but my ex lost someone who was mature, giving, incredibly loving, great in bed, willing to befriend his very difficult friends, and love his difficult family... someone who shared his views on the future, kids, marriage, money, religion. He lost someone who was willing to go to hell and back for him, and for the relationship, who would have worked her ass off no matter what. He didn't feel the same, and he threw that away. I start crying when I hear certain songs, but not for the reasons one would think. Familiar with "Swing Swing" by the All-American Rejects? For some reason, the line "I'll find someone new," really gets to me. It's that "Shadow is running home at the end of Homeward Bound" feeling We will all find someone new.
Surfer Dude Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 She lost: - the stability I was able to provide - my faithfulness and the fact I never looked at other women than her - my caring heart that would bleed for her - the sweet words of reassurance she always got from me when she was feeling down - a man who is kind and compassionate, who would be a great father to her kids - my random hugs and kisses all day long - great and amazing sex - intimate moments when our souls felt like they were connected - someone who genuinely cared about her well being and health - an able man who is successful in life and business - my patience that was stronger than steel, that could put up with anything she threw at it - my willingness to cook and prepare food for both of us - small things like making sure she gets a wake up call from me when she would otherwise be late for work - a man who spent almost nothing on his personal needs, instead saved and invested into future - my honesty - my extreme compassion for all living things - the fact that I never treated her like a sex object, but rather a human being with dignity who deserves tons of respect - and most of all... my mom just adored her, she lost a great future mom in law, most moms in law are hags, she is going to learn that Well it's her loss. The package is still here, just meant for some other woman
EmperorR Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My ex lost everything another guy from the ****ty town i live in wouldn't give. I would go on but i could never top what Emperor went through, To go through that and still be here, being able to type it out. I have so much respect for you. God Bless. Thanks, were all in the same pain not being with someone we love. The only solace I got in this was my ex telling a mutual friend that the only way she coukdnt be with me (when I wanted her back), is because I treated her so good and she betrayed me.
Just_dealin_with_it Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 My ex lost... A pretty good guy. I'm not perfect, and maybe I wasn't perfect for her, but I was decent; a stand up guy. Ironically, I'm already different, and better than I was before for the simple fact that I have taken the time to look at myself, examine areas that I would like to improve, and have started down that road. As a matter of fact, there's still plenty about myself I still haven't tapped into yet, but now I know I'll always be willing to look deeper; see where I can improve, and not lay blame elsewhere. Am I where I want to be? Nope. Can I get there though? Yep. Nothing is about her now, it's all about me (humbly) and the goods I can bring to everyone in my life. I'm looking forward to when I meet someone new, all the things I can apply from what I've learned, and all that I can still learn.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 They lost: * my honesty * my fidelity * my commitment * my patience * a rare and unique connection * a person with a VERY high and imaginative sex drive * a person who loves to kiss for hours * my amazing head massages * making him food and drinks * my family and the friendship he developed with my brother * my dog * my texts and emails and msn conversations * my generosity and my presents * the poems I used to send him from nowhere * my massages * my bed * my cuddles and hugs and always cuddling him up * my understanding * my 100%, unwavering devotion to him and our relationship * a non-smoker, non-drinker, non-drug addict * a girl who had never so much as kissed a boy before him at the age of 17 (I take this to be quite rare) * a girl whos presents could make him cry * a huge heart * the hours we spent playing video games together * the fact that i'd always pay for myself at restaurants and i'd always give him some of my food without him needing to ask * the adventures I would have wanted to go on * my understanding/support for him through hard times in his life * my undying friendship * my intelligence * my passion for him that never went away GOOD LUCK FINDING ALL THAT WITH THE NEXT ONE - that's all I have to say!
soserious1 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 All these lists of people's wonderful qualities are great... BUT.. our EX's didn't "lose " anything they valued.. obviously if they'd valued any of the things on our lists they would still be with us wouldn't they? There is one thing though that our Ex's have lost... and recognizing this is essential to our healing. Our Ex's have "lost" forever their ability to hold enough power over us to ever wound us this deeply again. My Ex-husband didn't value the 101 things about me that make me a great person, to his mind,losing those things was about as upsetting as taking out the trash. To me, he's "lost" the ability to hurt me anymore,to use my love for him as a club against me.
Author MWH Posted January 3, 2009 Author Posted January 3, 2009 Thanks....this made me smile! So where is YOUR list? Huh? C'mon- you gotta play fair so post your list!
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