Did you ever say you'd go back but really had no intention to?

[Sexy Kitty]

Just curious if you have ever said or had someone say to you that they wanted to get back together one day but were just saying that to be nice? My most recent ex said that if I would have the heart to forgive him when he's ready to date again that he would want me back if I would take him back. I don't know if I should believe that or not. I myself wouldn't tell someone that unless I meant it. I guess some people say it just to end things easier. I just don't see the point in saying it if you have no intention of ever getting back together.

[saturnfell]

Worrying about the future will get you nowhere. Whether or not he means it doesn't matter. He's gone for now, so the when you think of the future, think of it without him in it. You'll be doing yourself a favor.

 

As far as could he mean what he said, sure, he could have meant every word. That doesn't mean when that time comes that you'll go for it.

[Riffmeister General]

Sounds a bit like the false hope point in my thread you replied to! I think it's best to try to forget that kind of thing as if he didn't mean it, you'll be hurt again. A friend of mine just wrote to me saying his friends have had similar experiences to mine (travelling breaking up a relationship) and when they got back home, they got back with their ex's, and as nice an idea as that is to me right now, I know if I hold that in my head, get home and it doesn't happen, I'll be back to square 1. Plus with another guy involved, I doubt it'll be as simple as that.

 

Short answer is you won't know if he meant it until it's too late, so best forget it for now and concentrate on healing. As my housemate said, "false hope is the real killer."

[D-Lish]

I've told people I have needed a "break before"... because I was genuinely confused. But the outcome has always been the same. I wanted the break because I was confused about how I felt.... When the smoke cleared and I got my head on straight I realized I wanted that break because things were broken.

 

People may be genuine in the heat of the moment... but that rarely means jack Shyyte.

[Trialbyfire]

Just curious if you have ever said or had someone say to you that they wanted to get back together one day but were just saying that to be nice? My most recent ex said that if I would have the heart to forgive him when he's ready to date again that he would want me back if I would take him back. I don't know if I should believe that or not. I myself wouldn't tell someone that unless I meant it. I guess some people say it just to end things easier. I just don't see the point in saying it if you have no intention of ever getting back together.

Never. That isn't being nice. That's pretty messed up.

 

If you go back for seconds, make sure both of you know the issues and have addressed them. Also, each time you break up, there's a loss of trust and respect. If you feel you can both genuinely overcome these obstacles, then do it.

[Sexy Kitty]

Thank you for the replies everyone.

[Nikki Sahagin]

When me and my boyfriend broke up he said he didn't see it as the end forever. He said we were so young and immature (we had our fair share of problems) and that maybe in the future when we had sorted ourselves out we could be together forever. We ended up back together now and are giving us another shot. The point is if you do mean that you think you could be with someone forever, I think normally it hits you, 'wait...if I really want this person, I need to be with them NOW, otherwise she'll be with someone else, i'll be with someone else...etc'. We decided for all our problems we would work through them rather than put a hope on the fact that one day we would be better enough to get back together.