EmperorR Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Ah I feel like a horrible individual. A few days ago my friend broke up with his gf of 3 years basically she wanted space and was driftig away. So now he's was etc going through all the stuff I went through etc. But something inside of me made me happy, knowing that someone I know personally I know is in the same situation as me, sick isn't it.
darnay Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 No emperor, it's odd cus a friend of mine broke up with his partner after I split with mine, and I have been basically talking to him about stuff ever since. It's weird cus I give him all the good advice and then I don't follow it myself.. I'm feeling lonely, sad and tearful today.
openbook08 Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 know where youre coming from makes you feel more 'human' and less imperfect knowing somebody personally going through the same *hugs* darnay X
MWH Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I really doubt that you are taing any pleasure whatsoever in the fact that your friend is hurting. More likely, you are feeling a sense of relief that what you have been feeling is shared by another. It also probably feels like a relief to talk about your friends problems rather than your own for change, no? Here is a recent example from my sitch: I've suspected for quite some time that my ex is sufferring from some sort of metal/emotional problem. As far as I know, though, I'm the only person who has been witness to her irrational and sometimes bizzare actions. I posted some examples of her behaviors to get some input from others. Everyone came back with the same conclusion that I had: That she is suffering from some sort of disorder. I felt a tremendous sense of relief. Do I take any pleasure in her sitch? None whatsoever. I have no desire to gloat as I truly feel bad for her. But I DID feel a tremendous sense of relief in knowing that my suspicions were warranted. Can you relate to this in regards to your feelings towards your friends sitch? Peace, MWH
calculus Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I guess you're empathizing with what you're friend is going through right now. Although I don't think you should be happy about it. No one likes going through that pain.
Just_dealin_with_it Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 It's human nature EmperorR. Breaking up with someone can make anyone feel extremely lonely, as though no one else has been there or experienced a break up before. Break ups are very personal because the relationship happened to you and the other person. Therefore the break up and feeling of loss is only happening to you, it is not a shared experience with other people. It can be comforting to know someone else in this world is going through the same thing and feeling the same things you are. This is why we listen to sad songs, and post on LS. It's easier to cope when you have others to do it with.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 You listen to sad songs? I avoid them like the plague. If you look at my playlists right now it is almost all pumped up rock and plenty of songs that make me look inside and find my inner strength. Ok sorry for the thread hijack. But it probably wasn't that you were happy about what happened to him. It was having someone else that is going through it. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that by helping others through situations I find some deeper insight into my own situation a lot of the time. That is why I post so much on LS. I see other people's situations much clearer than my own. Maybe that was your subconscious telling you that you can help him through this because of what you have just gone through.
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