chris250 Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 What does it mean when someone says "I'm not ready for a relationship." I've been on both sides of this experience. Just recently I told 2 women that I wasn't ready for a relationship. At least that's how I feel. I don't know when I'll be ready. Are there ever cases when someone says they are not ready for a relationship and eventually they get ready for one with you?
Geishawhelk Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 When you do, let us know. That would be around your 70th birthday, wouldn't it?
Citizen Erased Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Either they aren't ready or they don't want one with you.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Either they aren't ready or they don't want one with you. I'm mostly in the latter. Sometimes I find it hard to tell the person I'm just not interested so I resort to telling people I'm not ready.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I'm mostly in the latter. Sometimes I find it hard to tell the person I'm just not interested so I resort to telling people I'm not ready. I'm new to much of the dating scene, so bear with me. But don't people then want to date you MORE so they can try to win you over? I would think it would be easier to just be upfront with them so that they realize there isn't a chance in hell for anything at all.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I'm new to much of the dating scene, so bear with me. But don't people then want to date you MORE so they can try to win you over? I would think it would be easier to just be upfront with them so that they realize there isn't a chance in hell for anything at all. I usually expect them to take a hint. I can't be responsible for how they feel especially since they're merely acquaintances. Occasionally if they ask me a second time around, I have to be firm with my answers but afterwards I become extremely annoyed with their presence.
wuggle Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 For the answer to both why you're not ready and why no one else is ready to have a relationship with you I refer you to your thread about fantasizing about having sex with god
amymarieca Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Nine times out of ten, it means they just aren't interested in a relationship with you.
carhill Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Apparently our OP says what he means, in that he isn't ready for a relationship with anyone. The lady is dismissed without prejudice Great example where clarity of communication pays off. I can say, personally, I've always respected women who were straight up in their rejections, whatever their "reasons" were. I don't think rejection ever will feel "good", but, couched in honesty and empathy, it can transition to acceptance with less pain. I've gone through this process in MC explaining to my wife how my love for her died. Very painful process to be sure. I got no pleasure from it, regardless of the impetus. OP, my advice is one of acceptance. Accept your truth, communicate it, and accept the words you hear. Do not attach further meanings to them. The speaker knows how to find you if her truth has changed
PrincessPeach Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I usually expect them to take a hint. I can't be responsible for how they feel especially since they're merely acquaintances. Occasionally if they ask me a second time around, I have to be firm with my answers but afterwards I become extremely annoyed with their presence. Most guys can't be expected to take this hint. They are looking for the positive because they like you. When you say things like this the only thing a lot of them will think is "I've still got a decent chance, it just might take a bit more time." When they don't think this it is because they are bitter because too many women like you weren't completely honest with them. You aren't ever responsible for how they feel. Even if you are brutally honest with them and they get all mopey about it you still aren't the one responsible for how they feel if you reject them.
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