northstar1 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 What I don't understand is, if one really loves another, how do they fall out of love to the point where they can be so mean and cruel to the person they claim to once have loved so much. I just don't understand that. My ex wife is so hostile and cruel with me now, it simply amazes me how this person could have had any real love for me. It's funny because after all this abuse and time apart, I still love her and pray for her well being! Isn't that f* up? Sadly, all too common as human nature. Unfortunately feelings change, and people change with them. People's desires/wants/feelings can be transient in nature, especially as we live in a society that makes it so easy to covet other things we don't have (Grass is always greener syndrome). That is why it's key to enjoy life to the fullest in the present and dont' take anyone/anything for granted, because constantly change.
georgejungle Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 I'm not saying that EVERYONE follows that "I Love You unless someone better comes along" belief, but a lot out there do, subconciously. They throw "I Love You" around because it's fun to be in Love. But some don't understand exactly what that means. Maybe they watch too many romantic comedies. And some who are Truly Seeking Love in a relationship & give themselves completely don't understand when their partner can't repeat "I Love You" back to them right away... so I see two sides there.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Hmmm that's a difficult question to answer. As people have already mentioned, a lot of emotions and thoughts can be mistaken for love. I had feelings of obssession, addiction, intensity, madness even. It was like being on the brink of insanity. It's what inspires poetry, it's what drives people to suicide, it's what pushes our buttons. It's exciting, it's a whirlpool, it's chemistry, it's fire between people. It's that passion between people. Love changes and rises and falls to different levels. I am not wholly convinced that true love can really exist. The only unconditional love I believe is a mother for her child and even then that love can be cut i.e. mothers that abuse their children, abandon or disown them. Love is just such a weird force in itself. It's comprised of so many thoughts, feelings, elements, stages. It is just really quite impossible which is why it causes so much stress and can potentially cause so much pain. Some people say I love you and mean it or think they mean it at the time. Some people say I love you and never mean it. I think if it's love, it's something you can mutually feel. It's not the words, it's not the actions - it's a gut instinct almost. Whether they lose that or it changes or whether that love can last the mile is another matter. I think falling in love is easy but resisting the urge to climb out and see what else is out there seems to be harder for most of us.
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