Question about NC

[Don'tDeserveHerBut]

I asked this on the second chances board as well...over there they are encouraging the one that was wronged to go NC, until they get the magic words...(I want you back and I'm willing to do whatever it takes)...over here, we're supposed to go NC and wait to see if they bite...so if it happens that both parties are on this board, wouldn't the NC sabotage the whole thing? I am not trying to break NC, I am really just curious about this.

[Geishawhelk]

Listen very carefully:

 

On LC, there are no "over heres" and "over theres".

We all flit from one thread or forum to another.

They have headings just to pinpoint your issues and to clarify topics, but really, we're all the same community.

 

NC is intended to sever ties forever.

 

Full stop, end of story. Any form of contact by the other person is total hypothesis.

It's a possible, a 'what if' - but never, never an 'until'.

Forget the 'maybes', and the 'when'.

The intention is 'never again'.

[Owl]

GW, I think the OP may be confused between "NC" and "plan B".

 

Plan B is part of a standard process to reconcile a marriage from infidelity. Specifically, the intent in plan B is to allow the still wayward spouse to suffer the full consequences of their choice to cheat. It's to put the full requirement of meeting ALL of the WS's emotional needs fully onto the OP's shoulders...it's intended to make the affair much less fun by completely removing the emotiona/financial/etc...support of the BS from the WS.

 

In plan B, the BS gives the WS a "plan B letter", which spells out the way home. Those "conditions" that the OP mentions are outlined in here...exactly what it would take for the BS to break NC and allow the WS the chance to reconcile.

 

"NC" here is used primarily as a reference to no contact...usually between affair partners.

 

Hence why "NC" has to be considered 'forever, permanent, etc...".

 

I don't see where "NC" is applicable in the OP's case here, unless it refers to his former affair partner. In that case, yes, NC is still FOREVER, with no "conditions for resuming contact".