Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

[nikki2]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Unfortunately over the past 3 years my weight has been on a steady uphill climb. When I got engaged in June I thought that would be the motivation needed for me to lose some weight and get back in shape. However instead I gained 15 lbs over the summer and my first visit to David’s Bridal was a nightmare. There I was with all my old girlfriends getting measured and trying on dresses at 185 lbs when just 2 years ago I was in the 120’s. The lady at David’s Bridal recommended I order a size 14 or 16, a frightening number to me, and instead I order a size 12 saying I was going on a diet. Now the brides maid dresses and the wedding dress are in and I am too embarrassed to go in for the fitting since as of this morning I weigh 203 lbs and there is no way I am going to be able to fit into a size 12(especially since I am only 5 ft 2 inches tall).[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]So now I have no clue what I am going to do. I have never really dieted or tried to lose weight before, until 3 years ago I was lucky enough be just naturally thin despite not the greatest eating habits. Now my appetite has caught up with me and my figure is paying the price. I told all the girls in my bridal party we would go to David’s Bridal soon to try on the dresses and get measured for alteration, I am just embarrassed how I am going to look trying on a size 12 dress.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I am sorry for the length of this post, I am just venting and getting stuff of my chest. However I am wondering if anyone else experienced a pre-wedding weight gain, and if so how did the dress place handle it, and also how did you handle it?[/sIZE][/FONT]

[lkjh]

When is the wedding?

 

 

Im sorry about this but if you get on a good diet and exercise plan you can actually loose a lot of weight. First find a good diet plan but for now cut out all excess sugars...... Soda, candy, sauces. Try to cut your overall calorie intake by eating smaller portions. Sometimes when people get worried they tend to eat a lot more and that is probably what is happening.

[Star Gazer]

When is the wedding?? Hire a trainer AND a dietician ASAP. Speak with your doctor as well.

 

My BFF ordered a size 14 dress, maybe even a size 16, but she was way smaller than that in normal clothing. I think wedding dresses run inordinately small in sizes, but I could be wrong about that. I do know that she gained weight before the wedding as well, and we were all nervous about how she was going to fit into the dress. She did, but she refused the pretty "getting ready and putting the dress on" photos.

 

I don't want to alarm you, but you need to nip this in the bud now. Not only for your wedding, but for your health. 120 to 185 in 2 years, and another 15 pounds over the summer? That's almost out of control? What is going on? Are you eating more? Or is this weight just magically appearing? Be honest with yourself here...

[nikki2]

To answer so questions;

 

1) The wedding is on April 4th, so i got a little time to work with (I hope)

 

2) I know the weight didn' t just magically appear on me. It happened over a 3 year span, but I can't deny that I have gained a lot in just the last 6 months. Like I said when I got engaged in June I was around 170, now I am 203. I was never an activite kid, and could always eat what I wanted with out worrying about gaining weight. Then over the last 3 years I seem to be unable to stop gaining weight. I have always had horrible eating habits, just before 3 years ago my weight never changed. When I try to watch what I eat it lasts for only a couple days before I am back eating like I usually do. Being stressed out about my wedding and job isn't helping either.

[Mr. Lucky]

It happened over a 3 year span, but I can't deny that I have gained a lot in just the last 6 months. Like I said when I got engaged in June I was around 170, now I am 203.

120 to 203 lbs in 2 or 3 years on a 5' 2" frame? Nikki2, your wedding dress should be the least of your concerns as you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of weight and health related problems. As Star Gazer said, time to get medical and fitness help now! One gets married to find a life partner - consciously or not, your actions are undermining that. Get help...

 

Mr. Lucky

[moonshadow]

You really should see your doctor. That's a pretty significant weight gain in not long of a period of time. Unfortunately many women suffer from thyroid issues (generally underactive thyroid) that go undiagnosed and it can lead to major weight gain, even despite a woman's best efforts to eat very healthy and get regular exercise. Hypothyroidism / underactive thyroid function is one of the most commonly undiagnosed/underdiagnosed conditions that women deal with. It can definitely be treated, though....with medication (one little pill a day!). I suffered, years ago, with a gain of 25 lbs and I had always been thin. I'd changed nothing in my life, if anything i was eating more healthy and exercising much more. I just kept gaining weight......and I was often very tired, was always cold, etc. As a nurse I suspected it might be my thyroid gland so I had my family doctor do some bloodwork and check my levels. they were apparently "normal" but my symptoms were textbook thyroid issues. I began reading up on "autoimmune thyroiditis" (aka Hashimoto's thyroiditis) and everything I read indicated I needed to have my thyroid antibody levels checked. My GP refused, said there was no need. she was a moron. My symptoms and weight gain were getting worse, I would often shower or bath 2 - 3 times a day just to warm up, even in the summer. I finally went to a walk-in clinic and begged the doctor there to send me for thyroid antibody level testing............she did. I was right. My levels were 10 and 25 times the normal levels. I was then started on a low dose of synthetic hormone and referred to an endocrinologist. Even after a week of being on the low dose, I felt so much better and the weight started to drop. during this time I joined a forum online for women who suffer with thyroid issues and I learned just how common it is for women to be underdiagnosed/misdiagnosed. It's sad and shameful. Please read up on Autoimmune thyroiditis and go into your doctor "informed" and request the proper testing be done, it's just a simple blood test.

 

Best of luck

[brothelmaiden]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Unfortunately over the past 3 years my weight has been on a steady uphill climb. When I got engaged in June I thought that would be the motivation needed for me to lose some weight and get back in shape. However instead I gained 15 lbs over the summer and my first visit to David’s Bridal was a nightmare. There I was with all my old girlfriends getting measured and trying on dresses at 185 lbs when just 2 years ago I was in the 120’s. The lady at David’s Bridal recommended I order a size 14 or 16, a frightening number to me, and instead I order a size 12 saying I was going on a diet. Now the brides maid dresses and the wedding dress are in and I am too embarrassed to go in for the fitting since as of this morning I weigh 203 lbs and there is no way I am going to be able to fit into a size 12(especially since I am only 5 ft 2 inches tall).[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]So now I have no clue what I am going to do. I have never really dieted or tried to lose weight before, until 3 years ago I was lucky enough be just naturally thin despite not the greatest eating habits. Now my appetite has caught up with me and my figure is paying the price. I told all the girls in my bridal party we would go to David’s Bridal soon to try on the dresses and get measured for alteration, I am just embarrassed how I am going to look trying on a size 12 dress.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I am sorry for the length of this post, I am just venting and getting stuff of my chest. However I am wondering if anyone else experienced a pre-wedding weight gain, and if so how did the dress place handle it, and also how did you handle it?[/sIZE][/FONT]

 

 

Not too motivated to get married, are you?

Can you imagine the possible weight gain after marriage?? I mean, I here about women letting themselves go after but not before walking down the aisle!

[Angel1111]

There's something wrong with your body and my guess would be that it's your thyroid because it regulates your hormones and this is one of the main things that can cause uncontrollable and steady weight gain like you're experiencing. It won't matter how much you exercise or diet, nothing will stop your weight gain and it will continue to climb. It's a true nightmare and your body seems to be in overdrive. Did you do something new 3 yrs ago - like start taking the pill or something? Is your fiance verbally abusive or high-strung? Does he make you nervous? Believe it or not, stress caused from bad relationships can also cause weight gain. You need to look at what's going on - particularly where it started 3 yrs ago - and figure this out.

 

Here's a link that shows you the symptoms of hypothyroidism (weight gain is one of them):

http://www.womentowomen.com/hypothyroidism/symptomsrelief.aspx?id=1&campaignno=hypothyroidism&adgroup=ag2symptoms&keywords=symptoms+of+hypothyroidism

 

As far as trying on the dress, why do you have to go with the bridesmaids? Go by yourself, or wait until you get a handle on this problem. If you feel like you need to be there when the bridesmaids go to try theirs on, set up a date with them and, when you get there, tell them you've already had your fitting.

[Mr. Lucky]

Is your fiance verbally abusive or high-strung? Does he make you nervous? Believe it or not, stress caused from bad relationships can also cause weight gain. You need to look at what's going on - particularly where it started 3 yrs ago - and figure this out.

The mindset you suggest - "It could be someone else's fault" - is what got her in this predicament in the first place. Unless and until the OP takes personal responsibility for her health and weight, there's trouble ahead. And not just the "I can't fit into my dress" variety...

 

Mr. Lucky

[nikki2]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Thank you all for the replies, even if one was like a slap in the face. [/FONT][/COLOR]

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[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]To be honest I am not good at the whole diet and exercise thing, having never had to worry about it until 3 years ago. To be honest I guess that over the last 3 years I have been in denial about my weight, always finding excuses not to diet. Now I am suddenly in over my head. I have gained 80 lbs in the last 3 years 30 of those lbs in the last 6 months. I try to diet and it only lasts a couple days before I finding myself eating like I used to without even knowing. I have never exercised in my life, and when I tried to go for my first jog ever the other day it was a disaster. I could only jog a couple hundred feet before I was out of breath and had to stop, it felt so awkward the way my whole body jiggled and it actually began to hurt.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I have already been checked out by my doctor. Each spring I go for a yearly check up. I unfortunately remember the last check up in detail because the doc kept repeating that going from 117 to 172 in 2 years is not good. She actually explained to me that this could be due to my thyroid, I don't mean to offend anybody but I hoped it was true so I had an excuse for my weight. All of my tests were normal, and then I got the talk about watching what I eat and exercising. She also recommended that I see a nutritionist. Once again my denial kicked in, as I convinced myself that a size 12/14 was normal and 170 lbs was only a little out of the healthy weight range. To be honest it is not like I didn't know where the weight came from. I eat too much, I eat junk, and I don't exercise.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]About my fiance, he is the best thing to ever happen to me. He has never said anything negative about my weight, even when I complain to him about (which recently has been a lot). I do feel self conscious around him sometimes since he has such a great body and I do not look anything like I used too.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[nikki2]

I apologize for the weird text that shows up in my posts. I am new to the forum and had trouble downloading the spell check application. So I have been writing my posts in microsot word so I can use spell check, I didn't want a bunch of misspelling make you guys think I am an idiot.

[brothelmaiden]

I apologize for the weird text that shows up in my posts. I am new to the forum and had trouble downloading the spell check application. So I have been writing my posts in microsot word so I can use spell check, I didn't want a bunch of misspelling make you guys think I am an idiot.

 

Just curious but what do you eat on average every day? Post a diet diary at least from an individual day, and btw, how old are you? I just find it unbelievable that someone would gain so much within 6 months time.

[D-Lish]

The irony in my personal situation is that the most weight I have ever lost was due to a DIVORCE... I was 130 when I got married and went up to almost 160 after that. We fell apart and I lost it all and much more.

 

I lost 50 lbs in about 4 months just being ill from heartbreak.

 

I went from about 158 to 105 lbs really quick about 6 years ago. Now, I couldn't put on weight if I tried. I lost that weight and I have kept it off, even being in my 30's!

 

If the wedding is in April- you can only really lose 35lbs- and that is doing it the unhealthy way. You won't make that size 12. But- remember a size 12 in wedding dresses is probably a true size 8.

 

If I were you? I'd talk to your bridal place and ask what the best course of action is. This is how ordering works.... They order way after you put the order in. Why? Because they CANNOT keep your dress in storage for four months. It's counter productive to their profit to have a dress sitting in storage for that long. If they tell you otherwise? They are lying.

 

If you bought off the rack- it's different, you'll have to eat the loss and buy a new size/dress. But, if your wedding is in April- the shop hasn't ordered the dress yet.

[TabulaRasa]

Definitely talk to the store ASAP, because you're definitely going to have to order another dress.

[nikki2]

Once again I would like to thank you all for your kind and unfortunitly what will probably be truthful responses.

 

I am 23 years old. My weight was always around 120 lbs however during my senior year in college I gained around 20 lbs. I was surprised about the gain, but not too surprised since I partied alot that year and since I was living off campus I orded out a lot because I was too lazy to cook. I guess I never lost weight since then, and like I posted earlier I was in denial as I kept making excuses to myself that it was not a big deal even as I continued to gain weight. Now with the wedding and the dress I am kinda forced to face it.

 

I took brothelmaiden's advice and tried to keep track of what I ate today. (it was not easy because my snacking through off my count, but it did make me realize what a snacker I am.)

 

Breakfast: my usually DD hot cholcolate with chocolate chip muffin( I get it almost every day on my way to work, I am a secretary at a neurologist office)

 

I snacked on lindt lindor chocolate in the morning before lunch and in the afternoon. Counted 26 wrappers in my garbage at the end of the day because I was curious how many I had.

 

Pharmaceutical reps brought in lunch today (this usually happens 3-4 times a week) It was italian food from a place around the corner. I had some chicken parmesan, baked ziti, cesar salald and italian bread. I also had a slice of cheese cake then and another before I left for the day.

 

My fiance and I ate out at Chillis for dinner. I had the chicken crispers ( chicken fingers, fries and corn on the cob). I felt a little guilty afterwards since because I was keeping track of what I was eating today I noticed my fiance took home half of his meal while I finished all of mine. Now that I think about it I guess it usuall happens this way.

 

I stop by my parents place after dinner to talk wedding talk with my mom. We ended up getting Friendly's ice cream because she had a coupon.

 

Went back to my apartment and watched some tv with my two housemates. I snacked on some chocolate chip cookies that one housemate made today, not sure how many I had.

 

That is basically it and in as much detail as I can think of. I guess looking at it, it looks like a lot of food, but I have always been a big eater.

[Star Gazer]

Listen. I'm gonna give it to you straight. YOUR EATING HABITS ARE OUT OF CONTROL AND MUST BE CHANGED IMMEDIATELY.

 

It's GREAT that you wrote it all down for yourself to see, but you don't seem to think it's a big deal. It is. It soooo is. I'm gonna break it down for you to show you. Each number in bold is the calorie content for each food you listed from http://www.calorieking.com.

 

Breakfast: my usually DD hot cholcolate with chocolate chip muffin( I get it almost every day on my way to work, I am a secretary at a neurologist office)

 

Hot chocolate: 170

Dunkin' Donuts' chocolate chip muffin: 630

 

I snacked on lindt lindor chocolate in the morning before lunch and in the afternoon. Counted 26 wrappers in my garbage at the end of the day because I was curious how many I had.

 

At no less than 80 calories per Lindt truffle, that's 2,080 calories.

 

Pharmaceutical reps brought in lunch today (this usually happens 3-4 times a week) It was italian food from a place around the corner. I had some chicken parmesan, baked ziti, cesar salald and italian bread. I also had a slice of cheese cake then and another before I left for the day.

 

(I'm estimating what you ate here)

 

Chicken parm (1 piece): 220

Baked ziti (1 serving): 700

Ceasar salad (small): 190

Garlic bread (2 pieces): 340

Cheese cake (2 slices): 580

 

My fiance and I ate out at Chillis for dinner. I had the chicken crispers ( chicken fingers, fries and corn on the cob).

 

Entire meal (not counting ranch or other dipping sauces): 1,880

 

I stop by my parents place after dinner to talk wedding talk with my mom. We ended up getting Friendly's ice cream because she had a coupon.

 

Ice cream: 300

 

I snacked on some chocolate chip cookies that one housemate made today, not sure how many I had.

 

It worries me that you don't know how many you had. 3 or 4? Or 25?

 

Let's assume (hope?) it was only 6 cookies at 130 a cookie: 780

 

I guess looking at it, it looks like a lot of food, but I have always been a big eater.

 

This is BEYOND "a lot of food."

 

In one day, you consumed 7,870 calories!!!

 

Just to give you an idea of how much I eat, I gain weight at 2,000 calories, lose weight at 1,400 and maintain at 1,700. And I'm 5'4 AND active, so I require more calories than someone who's sedentary.

 

You are 23, sedentary, and 5'2'' tall. Your basal metabolic rate (BMR) at your current weight of 203 is therefore 1,721 calories per day. (http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/) This means that in order to maintain your current weight at your current activity level, you'd need to consume 1,721 calories her day. Eating less than your BMR will cause you to lose weight over time; eating more than your BMR will cause you to gain weight.

 

As such, if you consume more than 1,721 calories per day (on average), you will gain weight. How much? Well, for every 3,500 extra calories you consume, you will gain a pound. (One pound of fat is equal to 3,500 calories of energy. Consuming 3,500 more calories will make you gain that pound; consuming 3,500 calories less [or burning those calories through exercise] will make you lose a pound.)

 

By eating 7,870 calories per day, you are consuming 6,149 more calories each day than you need. At that rate, you should expect to gain 1.75 pounds PER DAY. At that rate, you will be like 600 pounds in 2 more years!!! This has got to stop!!!

 

You seriously need to learn about moderation and calories and how to make better food choices. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, do your HEALTH a favor. Make an appointment with a nutritionist ASAP...or at the very least, join Weight Watchers (the in-person version) so you can learn to make better choices.

[mark982]

very good post star gazer. can you bring your own lunches to work? it seems like you just need some more motivation.do any of your friends go to the gym? alot easier w/ a workout buddy. just curious, what does your bf say about your weight gains?

[Marteka]

Well I think we can discount the underactive thyroid theory.

 

Nikki2, I have to admit that reading your food diary for one day was a huge shock to me. Frankly, not one thing you consumed that day would be anything I would ever eat, let alone on a regular basis. And I don't know many people who can consume 26 chocolate truffles in one sitting...not what would be expected from someone who is concerned about her weight.

 

Weight Watchers is probably the way to go if you have a timetable to lose weight by. They will help you set a realistic and healthy target too. And they will get you thinking about what you put into your mouth and how to eat healthily. With luck, your body will quickly respond to the positive changes and the weight will come off as you hope.

 

I used to be an unhealthy eater then changed my diet habits completely after a relationship break-up (this is a common theme, isn't it?). I am 5'5". I was 130 lbs and lost 25 lbs in four months. The motivation for the weight loss was not the healthiest (I had issues about "taking control of my life" ), but it is interesting how quickly my body reacted to the changes I made. I switched to low-fat dairy, stopped eating pudding and between meals and started controlling portions and counting calories. The weight did really drop off.

 

Unfortunately, I became fanatical about it and probably lost too much, so allowed my weight to get back up to 120 lbs over the next few years. I still watch what I eat and it is second nature to me. It also really helped me to start exercising regularly because that made a huge difference in offsetting my daily calorie intake.

 

Good luck. There is still time if you're determined.

 

And please stop eating choc-chip muffins for breakfast. They are the one of the worst, high-fat ways to start the day.

[jwi71]

Great post Star Gazer and I hope the OP appreciates the work you put into it.

 

I do want to caution the OP on something.

 

DO NOT DRASTICALLY CUT YOUR CALORIC INTAKE W/O CONSULTING A PHYSICIAN FIRST

 

Talk to your doctor and clear any activities through him/her.

 

I know Star Gazer alluded to it...I just want you to very certain you get professional trained help and not just go on a starvation diet.

[nikki2]

Wow, Star Gazer you definitally did a lot of work that you didn't have to do. I am not going to say that I don't appreciate because I absolutly do, and I guess it does put my eating habits in perspective.

 

Like I said earlier keeping track of what I ate did bring my attention to the amount of snacking I do at work. I sit 8 boring hours behind a desk answering a phone every once in a while, and I guess it has just become second nature to snack throughout the day. I am going to have to staple my mouth shut expecially since this morning I was 206 lbs.

[anne1707]

Nikki

 

I can totally recommend Weightwatchers. The programme does educate you about food and allows you to eat anything (as long as you "count" it). It is about sensible, healthy eating - getting the right balance, plenty of fruit and veg, portion control, etc. The weight may not come off as quickly as you would like but a slower, steady pace will be more successful in the end plus you will be more likely to keep it off.

 

Also try bringing in more exercise into your life. Don't go mad. Build your self up slowly. Walking and swimming would be a good start and then when you feel a bit more confident, join a gym - it would be really good if you could do this with your fiance so you could go together and motivate each other.

[Mr. Lucky]

my usually DD hot cholcolate with chocolate chip muffin...I snacked on lindt lindor chocolate in the morning before lunch and in the afternoon. Counted 26 wrappers in my garbage at the end of the day because I was curious how many I had...I had some chicken parmesan, baked ziti, cesar salald and italian bread. I also had a slice of cheese cake then and another before I left for the day...I had the chicken crispers ( chicken fingers, fries and corn on the cob)...We ended up getting Friendly's ice cream because she had a coupon...I snacked on some chocolate chip cookies that one housemate made today, not sure how many I had.

OK, am I the only person suspecting a set-up here? Pulling our chain? April Fools?

 

The obviously intelligent OP has enough smarts to be "a secretary at a neurologist office" in the medical field but doesn't understand that the consumption of approximately 36 desert portions (CC muffin, hot chocolate, candies, cheesecake, ice cream and cookies) of various sizes IN ONE DAY will affect her weight and health?

 

I'm just wondering...

 

Mr. Lucky

[nikki2]

My background is in communication, which is why I am secretary not a doctor. I am sorry it is hard for you to believe, but I am being honest. I is also hard for me to believe this has happened to me.

[manugeorge]

One thing that has helped me a lot is snacking on fruits and vegetables. Like you, I constantly have to have something in my mouth..be it a pen or gum, it's a curse. But you know that can easily translate into "snacking" on 12 lindt chocolates in the span of a few hours.

 

What you do is stock up on carrots, celery, grapes, hell, even lettuce. Natural fruits and vegetables, and no dips please. Reach for those while you are at your desk bored, you are still eating right? just not raking in the fat.

[Star Gazer]

It is also hard for me to believe this has happened to me.

 

You are not a victim. You did this to yourself.