Joker77 Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Since my ex broke up with me four weeks ago today, this has to be the worst 24 hours I've gone through with the exception of the first day or so. I seriously feel like a drug addict. I feel like if I contact her, I'll feel better until the feeling wears off again. God I hate feeling like this. I actually feel depressed today. I know I will get through this, but man this sucks right now. I have been sitting here fighting the urge to give a "hey how's it going?" text.
kizik Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Hi Joker, yeah, love is just a socially acceptable drug. For some reason, we don't see anything wrong with a lot of unhealthy co-dependent relationships, as society tells us that the foremost goal in life is to have partner. As far as your withdrawal - and make no mistake about it, it is withdrawal from dopamine, serotonin, etc. - I promise you that you will make it as long as you take care of yourself, move forward, try to see the bigger picture. I feel for ya man.
Author Joker77 Posted December 28, 2008 Author Posted December 28, 2008 Hi Joker, yeah, love is just a socially acceptable drug. For some reason, we don't see anything wrong with a lot of unhealthy co-dependent relationships, as society tells us that the foremost goal in life is to have partner. As far as your withdrawal - and make no mistake about it, it is withdrawal from dopamine, serotonin, etc. - I promise you that you will make it as long as you take care of yourself, move forward, try to see the bigger picture. I feel for ya man. Thanks for the kind words kizik. The problem is my heart is telling me otherwise. I need to get it out of my head that this isn't like a Hollywood ending. My head keeps telling me that she is/was the one but everyone else tells me otherwise.
EmperorR Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Ah I know the feling for the first month, it was literally like I was shaking, every minute checking my email my phone for a txt a call a email anything. Even about 103 no contact days later I sometimes still feel the "hunger", but like you said I know it will just make me feel good for a few minutes like when your extremely tired take a little caffeine but once it wears off your worse off.
kizik Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 My head keeps telling me that she is/was the one but everyone else tells me otherwise. Ask yourself this: doesn't the one do whatever it takes for you? Doesn't the one stand by you through thick and thin? What it comes down to is the fact that if this person was worth it - they would be trying to make it work just as hard as you are, my friend. The hard fact is that they just don't care about you enough - certainly not enough for you. Your needs aren't being met. YOU are the number one most important person. YOU matter. Don't forget it. Don't compromise yourself. BE YOU.
Author Joker77 Posted December 28, 2008 Author Posted December 28, 2008 Ask yourself this: doesn't the one do whatever it takes for you? Doesn't the one stand by you through thick and thin? What it comes down to is the fact that if this person was worth it - they would be trying to make it work just as hard as you are, my friend. The hard fact is that they just don't care about you enough - certainly not enough for you. Your needs aren't being met. YOU are the number one most important person. YOU matter. Don't forget it. Don't compromise yourself. BE YOU. And that's what I keep coming back to when I actually think rationally. That's why I say this girl is like a bad drug.
belladonna Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Oh it makes me sad to hear that Joker. I broke up with my ex nearly a week ago, if you remember, and I'm also still horribly depressed. I keep crying randomly at least a couple times a day now, and I keep obsessively checking my phone for texts. I know he was no good for me, he didn't want to try for me, but I can't help missing him soooo much. Not to mention the whole situation made no sense. I was hoping this feeling would go away within another week but hearing that you're still suffering 4 weeks later doesn't give me much hope. It just really ****ing sucks. Right now I'm still in the "maybe he'll change his mind and call me" phase. I just can't get it through my head that he doesn't want me! You gave me some good advice last time but I don't have much to give you. Resist that urge to text her, you know it won't do any good.
Author Joker77 Posted December 29, 2008 Author Posted December 29, 2008 Oh it makes me sad to hear that Joker. I broke up with my ex nearly a week ago, if you remember, and I'm also still horribly depressed. I keep crying randomly at least a couple times a day now, and I keep obsessively checking my phone for texts. I know he was no good for me, he didn't want to try for me, but I can't help missing him soooo much. Not to mention the whole situation made no sense. I was hoping this feeling would go away within another week but hearing that you're still suffering 4 weeks later doesn't give me much hope. It just really ****ing sucks. Right now I'm still in the "maybe he'll change his mind and call me" phase. I just can't get it through my head that he doesn't want me! You gave me some good advice last time but I don't have much to give you. Resist that urge to text her, you know it won't do any good. Belladonna, I appreciate the words. Once I can get through the next month and a half, I should be golden. I feel like my heart has been ripped out right now.
kizik Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Oh it makes me sad to hear that Joker. I broke up with my ex nearly a week ago, if you remember, and I'm also still horribly depressed. I keep crying randomly at least a couple times a day now, and I keep obsessively checking my phone for texts. I know he was no good for me, he didn't want to try for me, but I can't help missing him soooo much. Not to mention the whole situation made no sense. I was hoping this feeling would go away within another week but hearing that you're still suffering 4 weeks later doesn't give me much hope. It just really ****ing sucks. Right now I'm still in the "maybe he'll change his mind and call me" phase. I just can't get it through my head that he doesn't want me! You gave me some good advice last time but I don't have much to give you. Resist that urge to text her, you know it won't do any good. It makes me sad to hear both your woes. The thing is that right now, you can't imagine ever feeling OK again. But I promise you when I tell you that today, I could not feel as heartbroken as I was right after she and I split, if I tried. I could go look at all the photographs and read all her letters, and I would still be unable to feel the pain you two are feeling now. Time.
Helioz Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 man i'm at the point right now where i feel like my heads gonna explode. Ive been NC since 3wks ago with a merry xmas text from her which i guess doesnt count. But yeah man, its like im suffering from severe meth withdrawl or something. I cannot for the life of me stop analyzing the reasons for the break up and i just keep going over it, and over it, and over it, wishing so hard to go back in time. *sigh* its SO mentally draining. I feel like im in a hole i cant get out of. Sometimes i feel guilt, then that turns to hate, then to love, then a desire for some sort of friendship w/ her, and then denial that its over. THen the cycle starts again. UHggghhhhh!!!!! Sometimes i wish someone would hit me with a bat over the head so i could forget everything.
MWH Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Sometimes i wish someone would hit me with a bat over the head so i could forget everything. Do you REALLY think we're gonna let you off that easy? Ha! Besides that- I'm first in line for getting a few whacks upon my noggin' so get to the end of the line... I've withdrawn from drugs and relationships. I'll take the drug wds ANY day. That's easy- stop taking the substance and you WILL feel better in X amount of time. Affairs of the heart, unfortunately, have their own damn schedule. While we can certainly take an active role in our recovery we also tend to take an active role in our "relapses". Magical thinking, longing for the good ol' days, feeling sorry for ourselves, etc. All that good stuff. Just when we make a few strides forward we end up taking steps back too. Ugh. I guess all any of us can do is go through the motions until it "takes" and try not to sabotage ourselves. Peace, MWH
not_a_happy_camper Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 i wish i'd read your thread before i posted mine 5 mins ago........ i'm six weeks out of a relationship, and where i'd gone a few weeks without wanting any contact at all, suddenly i really need (or want to see him). it's horrible. i feel for you. but it's consoling to see all the replies from people who've been through it before. even though up to now i felt no one else could feel the same pain or intensity of how i'm feeling right now. i hope we'll all be feeling better soon. this sucks big time!
Author Joker77 Posted December 29, 2008 Author Posted December 29, 2008 i wish i'd read your thread before i posted mine 5 mins ago........ i'm six weeks out of a relationship, and where i'd gone a few weeks without wanting any contact at all, suddenly i really need (or want to see him). it's horrible. i feel for you. but it's consoling to see all the replies from people who've been through it before. even though up to now i felt no one else could feel the same pain or intensity of how i'm feeling right now. i hope we'll all be feeling better soon. this sucks big time! Yeah I'd been doing ok up until yesterday. Too much thinking. So tonight, I'll go workout and try and improve on myself. I don't know why I miss this girl so freaking much.
Ratherunique Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 This would probably be the best time to get Scenile Dementia
belladonna Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 It makes me sad to hear both your woes. The thing is that right now, you can't imagine ever feeling OK again. But I promise you when I tell you that today, I could not feel as heartbroken as I was right after she and I split, if I tried. I could go look at all the photographs and read all her letters, and I would still be unable to feel the pain you two are feeling now. Time. Thanks, that is comforting..I can still have hope then Right now, I just can't even bear to think that he's gone forever. Like, I don't want to not feel anything, you know? I keep imagining me getting a text from him that he misses me and wants me back. It seems very unhealthy to keep fantasizing about it. *gets in line to be smacked*
kizik Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 It seems very unhealthy to keep fantasizing about it. *gets in line to be smacked* It's completely natural. The last thing you need to worry about is if you're acting weird. Going through a breakup is pretty much (and fortunately) the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and I too went through the fantasizing and denial you're describing. It dissipates with time and distraction. But, you should try to not have any expectations of him, and look after yourself. You're top priority now.
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