tuff time not calling

[Goatsbreath]

Well, I went about 4 days NC and then ran into my x at the apartment on christmas eve. She is still living there but should be out when I get back after christmas vacation. I am at my parents (hour away) until jan 5th. It was a quick exchange and pretty light, have a good christmas, blah blah, cya.

Im trying to remain civil even though Im hurting real bad inside and I think shes being really cruel (starting to see some married whos seperated right now and has two kids while she still lives with me)

 

Im still having a tuff time accepting this. Sometimes I think its a dream or not real. Sometimes I think its her depression and she will realize she is messing a good thing up on purpose to pursue something chaotic. Her counselor said she behaves as if she needs drama or some form of dysfunction in her life.

 

Anyway, she called on the 26th but I didn't answer. I was really disapointed that she didnt call on christmas but oh well. On the 26th when she called I was strong but sense then I have wanted her to call back. Im trying not to call her but each day is really hard. Im almost at the point of calling today. I wonder what she wanted. She has not tried me back nor did she leave any message. Grr....

 

I know I should just want to go NC to heal but really I know I wish she would come back to me and tell me how stupid shes being and beg forgiveness. I dont know what I would do but.....this seems like a dream. I hate this

[Geishawhelk]

If she's the kind of person who needs drama, then please resist all temptation to get her back into your life.

If you go NC, she'll be back crying on your shoulder soon enough, when this current fan gets its statutory load of sh*t....

 

Then you'll need all your strength and resolve to prop you up as well as her.

You can't fix her, by either being with her, or being there for her.

Whilst she's in this state and in apparent denial, you need to be cruel to be kind - and tie your hands behind your back.