If you like a girl and so do other guys..do you fight for her or just let her decide?

[Brady_to_Moss]

What would you do if you like a girl or guy and others liked him or her as well. Would you fight your hardest..or would you let the other decided since it is in the end their choice.

[tidalwave]

no fighting!! run your race. example: you are in a race with 5 people, all you can do is run as fast as you can... you might win or you might lose but there is nothing else that you can do about it, it is out of your hands. run your race. just be you and if he/she doesnt like it, then so be it - MOVE ON! i dont believe in fighting for someone that is ridiculous. that person will either like you or not.

[Brady_to_Moss]

no fighting!! run your race. example: you are in a race with 5 people, all you can do is run as fast as you can... you might win or you might lose but there is nothing else that you can do about it, it is out of your hands. run your race. just be you and if he/she doesnt like it, then so be it - MOVE ON! i dont believe in fighting for someone that is ridiculous. that person will either like you or not.

 

Thats how i feel but i see so many people trying to fight for someone's affection which will not show them the true you.

[tidalwave]

Thats how i feel but i see so many people trying to fight for someone's affection which will not show them the true you.

 

 

forget that mess, just do you. dont worry about other people just run your race if she/he doesnt choose you then just sit back and wait... they will come back if it is meant to be. you cant change people or in a sense make someone do something they dont want to do.

 

i dated a woman, i wouldnt commit to her, she got with someone else, then a couple months later she was calling me again trying to get back to what we were... i was confident in myself and i only ran my own race and she came back. that's all you can do is run your own race and let the chips fall into place.

[Star Gazer]

There will almost always be someone who likes the person you're with. If fighting for her now is all that will get her attention focused on you, you'll have to continue fighting for the rest of your life.

[Trialbyfire]

If someone is having a problem deciding between multiple people, it means that they're not terribly into you. Don't play the game. Either do nothing or walk.

[Frankasy]

Dude, in both ways you gotta fight for a girl, not physically though. If you like her or don't really see your future with her at the moment, give her a few signs or reasons why she should pick you. It's kinda like a race, give yourself a good head start or make some good turns and eventually you'll win.

If you love her or think that you will spend the rest of your life with her, it's the same situation except that you gotta work even harder for her.

 

I mean the only way you can let her choose is if you truly have something more than the other guys, that everyone knows about and that you're sure that your extra ability(Good looks, really smart, very kind etc etc) will prove enough for her to make up her mind.

 

Just letting the girl choose is the laziest and most childish way to get a girl.

[tidalwave]

Dude, in both ways you gotta fight for a girl, not physically though. If you like her or don't really see your future with her at the moment, give her a few signs or reasons why she should pick you. It's kinda like a race, give yourself a good head start or make some good turns and eventually you'll win.

If you love her or think that you will spend the rest of your life with her, it's the same situation except that you gotta work even harder for her.

 

I mean the only way you can let her choose is if you truly have something more than the other guys, that everyone knows about and that you're sure that your extra ability(Good looks, really smart, very kind etc etc) will prove enough for her to make up her mind.

 

Just letting the girl choose is the laziest and most childish way to get a girl.

 

 

read my previous comments about running your own race... just because you do your best doesnt mean that you will win... someonejust might be faster than you are... nothing you can do about that.

[kashmir]

Eh, I think there's a balance between "fighting" for a girl and just trusting her to come to you. You've gotta be a bit assertive. You need to make sure she knows that you're into her, but I think anything after that isn't necessary or wise. For me personally, I think I need a little more fight in me. I let girls go too easily just because I think they're worth a minuscule amount of effort on my part. They're not worth a lot of effort, but they're worth a bit. For you, I think you've put plenty of effort into this girl already. The ball is in her court, as they say. Hmm, now that I think of it the tennis analogy is a good one. It takes some effort to serve the ball, but after you've made a good serve you can only watch and wait for your opponent's move. The game can never start if you keep making faults.

[Frankasy]

read my previous comments about running your own race... just because you do your best doesnt mean that you will win... someonejust might be faster than you are... nothing you can do about that.

 

True but still you got more chances to win her if you try instead of if you just pull back and stay. You'll win yourself more points if you make an attempt for her instead of just staying with your arms crossed.

[tidalwave]

True but still you got more chances to win her if you try instead of if you just pull back and stay. You'll win yourself more points if you make an attempt for her instead of just staying with your arms crossed.

 

 

i never said run and hide. you should simply lay back and just be yourself. fighting never solves anything whether it is in love or war. what should he do? should he buy her flowers and turn on his extra charm and take her to fancy places and buy her gifts.... PLEASE!! then he would be expected to keep that up throughout the duration of the relationship. either she likes him for him or she doesnt... no fighting necessary

[carhill]

Date someone else. Win-win

[Trialbyfire]

i never said run and hide. you should simply lay back and just be yourself. fighting never solves anything whether it is in love or war. what should he do? should he buy her flowers and turn on his extra charm and take her to fancy places and buy her gifts.... PLEASE!! then he would be expected to keep that up throughout the duration of the relationship. either she likes him for him or she doesnt... no fighting necessary

If someone is really into you, they're not going to play immature games. They'll make time and focus on YOU alone.

[tidalwave]

If someone is really into you, they're not going to play immature games. They'll make time and focus on YOU alone.

 

 

huh? you and you alone? we are not starting to get into that old argument again... look there is no reason to be in a relationship anyway. i am into several people right now you dont have to limit yourself to one just to make the point that you like someone. you can love more than one person, like more than one. biblical figures had several wives, were they wrong? our society tells us we need to pair up and that is what we do... who has made the rules?

 

now back to the topic... if someone is in to you they wont put you through that mess; thats why i say just sit back and be yourself. believe me, you can find several people who are in to you and wont make you compete for them!

[Trialbyfire]

huh? you and you alone? we are not starting to get into that old argument again... look there is no reason to be in a relationship anyway. i am into several people right now you dont have to limit yourself to one just to make the point that you like someone. you can love more than one person, like more than one. biblical figures had several wives, were they wrong? our society tells us we need to pair up and that is what we do... who has made the rules?

 

now back to the topic... if someone is in to you they wont put you through that mess; thats why i say just sit back and be yourself. believe me, you can find several people who are in to you and wont make you compete for them!

Forgot your perspective. I was actually agreeing with you until this last post of yours.

 

If you're comfortable with non-exclusive relationships, that's your choice. Just make certain that everyone else that you're with, is comfortable and in full knowledge of the situation. Lying by omission is still lying and not something that's to be commended.

[tidalwave]

Forgot your perspective. I was actually agreeing with you until this last post of yours.

 

If you're comfortable with non-exclusive relationships, that's your choice. Just make certain that everyone else that you're with, is comfortable and in full knowledge of the situation. Lying by omission is still lying and not something that's to be commended.

 

 

no lies. i used to be one heck of a liar - i try not to do that anymore. i am open and very honest with everyone i date. honest to a fault at times. just wanted to get the point across that you dont have to be exclusive to be happy. you dont have to lie to be non-exclusive either. basically anyone can have what they want if they really want it.

[Brady_to_Moss]

If someone is really into you, they're not going to play immature games. They'll make time and focus on YOU alone.

 

 

I agree with this. If she or he likes you. You will be the one they will be after.

[Trialbyfire]

no lies. i used to be one heck of a liar - i try not to do that anymore. i am open and very honest with everyone i date. honest to a fault at times. just wanted to get the point across that you dont have to be exclusive to be happy. you dont have to lie to be non-exclusive either. basically anyone can have what they want if they really want it.

As long as it's conceptual. Not everyone can have "who" they want, in any situation. Best to stick to people with the same mentality.

[Trialbyfire]

I agree with this. If she or he likes you. You will be the one they will be after.

I give this perspective since it's what I'm like. If I'm really into a guy, he will be my only focus and he'll know it. If he can't handle it, C'est la vie!

[tidalwave]

As long as it's conceptual. Not everyone can have "who" they want, in any situation. Best to stick to people with the same mentality.

 

 

I dont mean go out and kidnap someone, lol. i mean if you want to date multiple people then find people who are willing to be apart of that. dont try to put a square peg into a round hole. if this chick is making him work for her attention and he isn't with that then move on. most people think they cant have what they really want. i didnt menan the person that they really want, i mean the situations they realy want, there is a difference.

[tidalwave]

I give this perspective since it's what I'm like. If I'm really into a guy, he will be my only focus and he'll know it. If he can't handle it, C'est la vie!

 

 

i bet you dont even know why you feel that way. why do you think you have to only be with one person? look at all the infidelity, the divorce rate, etc. yet women (mostly, but men too) think pairing up and pretending to be faithful and deeply in love (like they see in the movies) is the way to go... crazy, but only my opinion. i do respect the way you feel despite my position.

[carhill]

Tidalwave....what you're supporting is a lot like what married couples call "swinging", except more globally, extending interest beyond the sexual and casual. With like-minded people, like with swinging, it can be and is healthy for those involved. You apparently have found this to be true for yourself. Do you feel the OP is looking for a similar path? Why?

[kashmir]

If someone is really into you, they're not going to play immature games. They'll make time and focus on YOU alone.

 

I agree with this, not so much for men but for women. Girls, at least the ones I know, are linear. They focus all their attention on one guy and shut out the rest of the picture. It's just hard to accept when it doesn't work your way, and it's hard to believe that some day YOU'LL be that guy some girl is focusing solely on.

[Brady_to_Moss]

I agree with this, not so much for men but for women. Girls, at least the ones I know, are linear. They focus all their attention on one guy and shut out the rest of the picture. It's just hard to accept when it doesn't work your way, and it's hard to believe that some day YOU'LL be that guy some girl is focusing solely on.

 

 

It is hard to believe that one day a girl will be that into me...i just cant see it

[Trialbyfire]

I agree with this, not so much for men but for women. Girls, at least the ones I know, are linear. They focus all their attention on one guy and shut out the rest of the picture. It's just hard to accept when it doesn't work your way, and it's hard to believe that some day YOU'LL be that guy some girl is focusing solely on.

 

It is hard to believe that one day a girl will be that into me...i just cant see it

It WILL happen for both of you guys. It's just a matter of time with finding the girl who will want to meet your needs/one where you will want to meet her needs, and be together with YOU only.