shesmiles Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 i got to my dads lastnight ... and the first thing to pop into my head was this summer when we went there with my friend and her boyfriend... i layed on the couch and looked around and couldn't help but see you everywhere.. flash backs of the summer time ... and even last winter when we went up , the snow was so high it reminded me of when we snow jobbed eachother and just played around for hours, and my hair and face were so wet.. i remember you telling me i looked so beautiful and sexy, but really i looked horrible i had just been snow jobbed... i didn't do much but sit around, and think about you i tried my hardest not too ... that really wasn't the best place to go to so soon, if we were together right now you would of been there with me... it's weird, everything is weird especially there at my dads... its weird without you, and i can't picture this summer going up there without you ... i don't want to do that, i need you and want you by my side.. i know i messed up, i know ... and i also know i deserve all of this....
saturnfell Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I'm so sorry. I understand how hard it is to go to a place where such memories were shared. It takes a lot of time and courage to take these places on. I'd say stay away until you're ready, but you can't stay away from family really. You mentioned the summer, I know it all seems so difficult right now and as though you won't make it, but you still have awhile yet until summer. I understand your sadness regarding winter as well. Seasons always drum up memories. Take the memories as an experience and be grateful you had them. Given time, things won't seem as sad as they do today. Try to manage keeping yourself in neutral places for the time being. Neutral environments will help settle your thoughts and get you to a better place where you may then begin going through the more complex information.
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