Lishy Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 .....infact on the rebound? What are the signs that you are dating a rebounder?
EYECANDY000 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 My signs that I usually pick up on instantly is if - the guy is very vulnerable - has a negative attitude about women - of course talks about 'the last girl he dated a lot' - and last but not least, they tell you the just broke up with someone
Trialbyfire Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 You have to draw a line between rebound and baggage, first. If you mean with rebound, someone who is still in love with their ex, then there's no definitive way you can ever tell, although Eyecandy has listed a few potential red flags.
moonshadow Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Based on my experiences in dating men who lied about how long it had been since their last long term relationship (when in fact their relationships had recently ended, prior to meeting me - they'd outright lied and claimed the relationships had ended many months prior but in fact it had only been a few weeks), here's what I've found: It can be a combo of any of these..... -they talk a lot about their ex, whether negative or positive -any place they want to take you (a restaurant, a pub, a vacation spot, etc), it's somewhere they've been to with their ex and you get the eery sense that they aren't wanting to make "new memories with you" but instead they want to relive their past (this one is harder to figure out because they're not always open about taking you to places they always went to with their ex) -they are very intense in the very beginning, majorly pursuing you, wanting to spend every free minute with you, they profess to be falling in love with you rather quickly, they start the "future talk" very quickly (wanting a future with you) -not many conversations go by where they're not mentioning "my ex" -although things start out very intensely, as the weeks pass you notice periods where they seem distant and aloof and you ask them if there's anything wrong and they insist there isn't but it's like they're "somewhere else." They may even be a d*ck and seem like they're trying to push you away
xpaperxcutx Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Based on my experiences in dating men who lied about how long it had been since their last long term relationship (when in fact their relationships had recently ended, prior to meeting me - they'd outright lied and claimed the relationships had ended many months prior but in fact it had only been a few weeks), here's what I've found: It can be a combo of any of these..... -they talk a lot about their ex, whether negative or positive -any place they want to take you (a restaurant, a pub, a vacation spot, etc), it's somewhere they've been to with their ex and you get the eery sense that they aren't wanting to make "new memories with you" but instead they want to relive their past (this one is harder to figure out because they're not always open about taking you to places they always went to with their ex) -they are very intense in the very beginning, majorly pursuing you, wanting to spend every free minute with you, they profess to be falling in love with you rather quickly, they start the "future talk" very quickly (wanting a future with you) -not many conversations go by where they're not mentioning "my ex" -although things start out very intensely, as the weeks pass you notice periods where they seem distant and aloof and you ask them if there's anything wrong and they insist there isn't but it's like they're "somewhere else." They may even be a d*ck and seem like they're trying to push you away I agree with these two points. People on the rebound tend to move quickly through the relationship like a rollercoaster ride coupled with intense feelings. They will profess to liking anything that seem exciting, such as partying and going out; mostly activities that seem to take up their time profusely. But what they won't get into is talk about any sort of emotions in regards to a "serious" relationship, and seem guarded and distant.
Author Lishy Posted December 28, 2008 Author Posted December 28, 2008 How does it normally turn out of you see the above red flags? Can it survive?
allina Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I'm pretty sure I was my ex's rebound. When I met him he was fresh out of a 5 year relationship. He wasn't bitter with women or not over his ex, he was pretty honest with me. When I met him I had been single for a while, he was not on the same page. We lasted for 4 months then he ended it. I don't think he wanted to commit to another relationship after just being in one for 5 years, and nothing about me changed his mind So my answer is in part, common sense. Chances are that a person who just ended a lengthy relationship, even if they're over that relationship need some single time.
Touche Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Single time, shmingle time. I don't believe in rebound. No such thing. You either know you're meant to be or you don't. It matters not how long since your last relationship. The signs of a "rebounder" are the same as those how will never commit. No difference.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 That's true, he's either into you or he isn't. If you meet the right one, you meet the right one, doesn't matter if he or you just broke up with someone else 2 hours ago or not.
saturnfell Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 That's true, he's either into you or he isn't. If you meet the right one, you meet the right one, doesn't matter if he or you just broke up with someone else 2 hours ago or not. Absolutely, So true!
saturnfell Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I met someone a few hours after they had sent someone packing that was planning on staying the weekend with this guy. These two were seeing one another, but he asked her to leave. If she hadn't gone home that afternoon, I would never have talked with him that night because he would have been with some lady friend and we would have never formed a relationship. The minute I walked into that place we connected. We build a strong relationship and bond and he just sent someone home hours prior to, so it happens (speaking from experience) Strange how things turn out. I totally forgot that even happened until just now. Wow.
moonshadow Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 That's true, he's either into you or he isn't. If you meet the right one, you meet the right one, doesn't matter if he or you just broke up with someone else 2 hours ago or not. Sorry, I disagree. I think variables like age and the length of their previous relationship play into things a lot. If someone is fresh out of a long term relationship and they're old enough to really know what relationships are about, what real love is about, they're seriously going to need some time to grieve the loss of that relationship - at some point. Most people on the rebound are very quickly looking to fill the void, to fill their 'love tank'....because to instantly have someone new is a great distraction from their pain.......but once the newness and excitement of someone new begins to wear off, they still have their loss and pain to deal with. Also, not to gender stereotype but men are more apt to go jumping from a long term relationship right into another because in general they're much better able to compartmentalize. It's rare that a woman, who's suffered the loss of a relationship, whether it was her choice or her guy's, can just go out the next day and try to meet someone new. Guys on the other hand are much more apt to do this....therefore, unfortunately, more women will be the victims of rebound relationships.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 It's not even about meeting someone new, or trying to perse. If you meet the right one, it doesn't matter if they just broke up with someone or not.
sultry33 Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 surely even if not on rebound you are bound to go to the same or similar places ie they may be your fav places? also if you was with someone for a long time of course you may mention them or that time. I ask myself the same questions am i on the rebound? id hate to find a really cool guy only to be on the damn rebound. for me a red flag would be if talk of an ex was continuois or they had photos etc hope it works out for you Lishy;)
Recommended Posts