Geishawhelk Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Ok, go outside, look under the window, and pick your pride up. It may be a bit battered and dented, but give it a quick polish and I bet you, soon it will look as good as new, and shiny, bright and undented..... Every time you feel like typing a message, or 'sndng a txtmssg2 him' or picking up the 'phone, think "I can't! The guys at LS would be so mad at my lack of self-control...and I've only just finished buffing 'Pride' up!" Stomp round your living room yelling at the top of your voice, and tell yourself you're better than this! "Nononononononononononono!! Not going to do it, he can't make me, he has no control over me, and I will not let him live rent-free in my head or in my heart! They're mine!!" Then kick the cat, and make yourself a cup of coffee, singing "I will survive" at the top of your lungs. Or this: yaaay! Sing girl!!
Author tassle01 Posted December 29, 2008 Author Posted December 29, 2008 what wonderful advice, thanks. i had a few glasses of wine seems to be doing the trick. I DONT NEED THIS MAN, NOPE. I will try not to kill the cat in the process of venting!!!! I am staying to strong, so so strong. I know I can do this. You guys are wonderful, thank you for your words. I know I can do this. NC ALL THE WAY
Author tassle01 Posted December 30, 2008 Author Posted December 30, 2008 I really wanted to wish him a happy new year and start on a new not with no hard feelings but he is not answering my calls. Should I e-mail him, I don't even know what to say to him. Last contact we had is my e-mailing him and he did not reply. I am so upset, I just want to start the new year on a positive note and not feel like he is angry at me and doesn't want to speak What should I do? I feel like I need to speak to him in order to gain the closure I need to start 2009 without him.
stillafool Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 For the past 2 years I've tried to get close, went to see him twice and saw him when he was back in the USA. However , my efforts have not worked thus far and he is not reciprocating the effort that I am putting in. I think it is worth in the long run, as my love for him is very strong. I just don't know how to approach him anymore. He dosen't seem to be interested in speaking to me on the phone and never calls or writes anymore. Should I just let him go and see if he will come back ??? Or is there a more proactive way of approaching the situation? It seems that if he isn't interested in talking to you on the phone, never calls or writes to you anymore, he may not want to get back together. There is only one way to find out and put it to rest. Just say to him "I miss you and really wish we could get back together and try it again." See what he says and then act accordingly.
Geishawhelk Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 I really wanted to wish him a happy new year and start on a new not with no hard feelings but he is not answering my calls. Should I e-mail him, I don't even know what to say to him. Last contact we had is my e-mailing him and he did not reply. I am so upset, I just want to start the new year on a positive note and not feel like he is angry at me and doesn't want to speak What should I do? I feel like I need to speak to him in order to gain the closure I need to start 2009 without him. You haven't heard a damn thing i've said, have you? NO CONTACT!! Don't wish him anything, don't contact him... Have you been ringing him since our last two posts? Geesh!! He's not answering your calls! So......?? Stop Now, with the "oh, I just wanted to.... I'd like to start 2009....." What you really mean is "I love him and want him to love me!" No good sister. Ain't gonna happen. Start 2009 without him. And start as you mean to go on.
bozwa Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 I agree with you 100%. I need to walk away. And I have tried. But then he always reappeares and turns my life upside down. We didn't speak for 3 months during these 2 years and after that 3 months he came back as if we had been speaking all along. Sometimes he will call me and tells me he misses me and can't wait to see me and that we are going to do this and that once we are together again. WHY THE HELL IS HE DOING THIS IF HE CLAIMS he dosen't want to be with me now and that I can't make him love me?????? I DONT UNDERSTAND. When I leave him alone and do my own thing he is needy when I am needy it is the reverse, he wants nothing to do with me once I start getting on his case. A man's POV, why does he feed me 2 stories??? This is what is preventing me from moving on, mostly. You are his ego boost. Nothing more. Nothing less. He gets off on you "needing" him, you "wanting" him. He's come to "need" that from you. But that's all he wants. Once you back off, he misses that because he doesn't get that ego boost anywhere else. So he reappears in your life. Turns your emotions upside down, gives you false hope, then he backs off so you'll shower him with your begging him to take you back. See? he's getting what he needs from you now. It's actually kind of sick when you think about it. He's playing on your heart and your emotions. And he's wasting your precious time. This cycle will NEVER end if YOU don't stop it NOW. Place that focus you've been putting on him somewhere else. You will amazed how much happier you will be without his selfishness nagging at your brain stem.
You'reasian Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 He has told me numerous times "you can't make me love you". Yes, his feelings are not nearly on the same level as mine are, but once upon a time when we were dating his feelings were 100x more intenese than mine are right now. Maybe it is the distance or lack of family and friends around him that has made him become so cold towards me. I am willing to let go and move on but I am afraid that he will forget about me or never call me once he is back in the USA and feel that if I stop trying to make things work ... they may never work. I guess if that should happen it was how it was meant to be. It seems you are all singing to the same tune of getting him out of my life ASAP. He really is putting me down mentally and emotionally and while I DO not want someone like this in my life, I know how he used to be towards me in the 3 years that we were together and physically together in the same place. This is why my heart is still his, those memories will never leave me. Our relationship was wonderful before he went away and I am trying to do everything in my power to get it back ... to no avail. Do you ever call the guy?
You'reasian Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Tassle, I think you're just not getting it. If something is "meant to be' - a "second chance" as you refer to it, it will simply "be." If it's destiny that you 2 are meant to get back together down the road, nothing you do or do not do now will have any impact on it because if it's meant to be, everything will work out that it will happen. Stop focusing on the future and this desire to have a 2nd chance........by doing this you're screwing yourself out of a "first chance" with someone who's good for you, who will love you, who will not be mean or selfish. You're living in a fantasy land. Nice. I like this.
Recommended Posts