curvy Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Hi there. I wasn't too sure where to post this thread as far as Category goes. Here is my story. I met a man a little over 4 months ago. I knew from the beginning he had a jealousy problem but didn't know it was EXTREME til AFTER I moved in with him. Well, as his extreme jealousy spirled out of control so did alot of other things. Manipulation, Accusations, His Double Standards & severe mental abuse. Well, as that went on so did something else: His CHRONIC LYING! He started lying about something so silly. Ok, so the REAL 1st lie was the fact he SAID he was divorced & KNEW ALL along from MANY years ago that he NEVER recieved papers on the divorce being finalized (he SAYS he filed online in the EARLY 90s). Well, I didn't discover to myself that was the ACTUAL 1st lie until JUST recently. But the 1st time he lied to me had to do with him & a lady friend of his. He lied about how he aquired airtime for his cell phone. He SAID one thing & it turned out to be something else that I found out from a friend of mine (his CO-WORKER told me where he actually got the airtime). Well, HE KNEW I would have NEVER flipped out or gotten jealous because a FRIEND (man or WOMAN) bought him that. He STILL to this day, uses that excuse for THAT one lie alone that he said HE thought I would have flipped out because he had an ex-g/f that was JEALOUS of him! He KNOWS I have NOT ever been like that with anyone he has as friends. I DID trust him. That was the 1st time he lied right to my face. But then he lied about a few other things that were really.."silly" to lie about. Then he lied AGAIN about the same woman, in this reference to how she/he called each other a few weeks ago in which he was moving into his own place AFTER I moved out (I left him because of ALL the abuse & jealousy & then ALL the lies he did to me). Lets just say the LYING alone has totally devasted & destroyed HOW I feel or even LOOK at him as a person, as a boyfriend & as a possible husband. I can't look at him the same again. I have DOUBTS now as to if he is being truthful for his love for me. He says he loves me soo much & has said many times he would change his abusive & jealous ways alone but then broke my trust in that by still continually again & again, hurting me. I have had a little abuse from different relationships before & was able to understand & move on BUT NOW with all he has done, I feel ripped apart as a person & then I have the TRUST issue with him. I have NEVER in my life EVER had a trust issue. I never, when I dated him, had ever had the "is he lying" to me feeling. I trusted him & never worried about ANYTHING he said to me, until recently. Now my mind is filled with.."is he being dishonest NOW?" "Is he not telling me the truth?" It's like ANYTHING that comes out of his mouth, I feel is NOT being the truth. I have SUCH doubts in EVEN wanting to take him back. We are not together but he professes his love for me but I doubt ANYTHING he says..I question ANYTHING he says, even if it has to do with...EXAMPLE....Him going grocery shopping. Is over-coming the trust issue I have NEVER had before until now, something that CAN be over-came & how can this be done? Also, is body language a sign of someone being dishonest? I have actually thought he MAY HAVE lied to me BEFORE the airtime incident. He acted WAAAY too nervous & did body language he has NEVER done with me before. I'm soo confused! Thank you.
BackonTrack2 Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 sounds like he is making you crazy. sounds like you see something in him..... sounds like you want it to work.... have you talked to the dude? like sat down and talk and asked question(s) like 1) Where do you see us in 5 years 2) What do you want from me Maybe he doesn't even know, maybe he just likes being around you. Like really sit and look at your entire situation in totality then make a decision and its only really 4 choices. 1) Full Relationship 2) Friends 3) Friends with benefits 4) Nothing at all (NC) Pick one.
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