RavenHair Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Well, my husband has been mad mad at me and consequently, he's been giving me the silent treatment for the past three days. Curiosity got the best of me and I went through our online phone bill. I saw that someone was texting him in the morning when I wasn't around. Today, I saw that he started texting this person around 5:00 this morning and they've been going back and forth ever since, but he still has not called me...so I called the number hoping it would be one of his friends, but a woman answered the phone. I said I had the wrong number, but I called back and started having a random conversation like she was someone I knew. She just went along with it and I told her I'd send her a picture on her phone and she told me that she'd be looking out for it and I hung up. I called her back, but it never went to voicemail, it just rang, which is unusual IMO. Most ppl have a voicemail even if it just says the number, they still have the vm box. I haven't called back and asked her any questions, though I'm tempted to do so. I'm wondering if somthing is going on. I know it's wrong to snoop, but I did, and now my wheels are turning! What should I do? **The back story is that he took a job in another state and I didn't move with him. I visit and he's really upset about it. He wanted me to give up everything for him and move with him, but I didn't think it was fair considering that he made the decision to move all by himself. I TOLD him on numberous occasions that I wasn't interested in moving to that particular state, but he took the job and moved anyway, but we were still together. Recently, I moved out there, but I haven't been happy. I flew back to see my aunt in the hospital right before Christmas and he was upset about that. Then on Christmas Eve, I didn't want to spend it with his mother, so I told him I wanted to spend it with mine for a few hours. He got mad. I told him I'd be over later in the evening or on Christmas day, but that wasn't good enough...and that's why he's not talking to me anymore...which leads to this post.
atwitsend Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 He feels you pulling away from him. And he is filling the hole (I don't agree with him). The problem is that you are well..... both selfish. You don't understand that you have to make sacrifices for each other and in truth to each other. As example. We lived in Socal our whole marriage (my wife for her whole life). She knew i wanted to leave Socal when we got married. But her father was in failing health so we stayed. Then her father died and we needed to stay because she didn't want to leave her mother alone. Then her mom died. And I said, now? Well by then my kids were in high school or just entering it and she didn't want to uproot them. So I waited till they graduated by then we had been married 24 years. After they did graduate. I sent my wife with her friend to arizona on a sunday to look at homes (because my wifes friend wanted to move here. I also liked AZ). I flew out on wednesday and told her that she could pick any house she wanted. But she was going to pick one. She freaked but we bought one. We moved into it 4 weeks later. She had a rough go of it for a few months (like 12) but now wouldn't move back to socal if you paid her. I know this was a long story. But it is and example of what a marriage is all about. You filling his needs and him filling yours. You both need to get to counseling asap. And find the love you had for one another. But you both have to stop being selfish. You not moving, built a wall between you. And you have to break it down if your marriage is to succeed. I know you are the one who has sacrificed here. And that is what needs to be brought out in counseling. Get into it before he finds some other girl to meet his needs.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 **The back story is that he took a job in another state and I didn't move with him. I visit and he's really upset about it. He wanted me to give up everything for him and move with him, but I didn't think it was fair considering that he made the decision to move all by himself. I TOLD him on numberous occasions that I wasn't interested in moving to that particular state, but he took the job and moved anyway, but we were still together. While I certainly don't agree with whatever your H is doing (and you may only know a part of the story ), your living situation doesn't seem like one that leads to a successful marriage. It's not for me to say who's right or wrong regards moving out of state, but the fact you can't agree on even that doesn't bode well. No where in your post does it say "I love him" or "I want to be with him" or "I'm happy with our relationship", there's just anger and resentment on both your part. You have some work to do - if you choose to do it - to get your marriage back on track... Mr. Lucky
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