She texted me

[Seducer11]

As u might know frm my previous post tat i have decided NC wit my ex..Its been one week now n nothing happened..Untill this morning, i saw her nick on msn as "I missed my tronky (chocolate)"..Ive blocked her frm msn so she dosent know im online..But i get the feeling she knows tat ive blocked her so tats why she type her nick tat way, so tat i get jealous n unblocked her n question her abt her nick..But i know tronky is juz a chocolate..So i didnt do anything n let it be..After awhile, she changed her nick to "................"

 

Still i ignore everything n went to bed..Then an hour later she txt me on my hp n said "How are u? Hows ur christmas n when college will b reopen?I hope u're doing fine.." I didnt reply her n after 2 hours she sent me the same txt again...

 

I know all of u gonna tell me juz to ignore her txt n maintain the NC...I believe tat applies for sum1 who has given up on the relationship...Its ok to do total NC n move on..The questions is wot should i do, if deep down in my heart i still want this relationship to work???I can see tat by texting me twice wit the same txt means she missed me so much or perhaps shes thinking of me..

[Geishawhelk]

Yes, ignore her, stay No Contact.

 

Oh, and please, as one Brit to another - don't type in text-speak. It's difficult to read, and nobody enjoys reading or trying to decipher what you're trying to say.

It might be easier for you, but for others, it's really hard to try to negotiate.

Could you please use proper English?

Thanks, chum!

[Seducer11]

Sorry about it mate...Well isnt it doing NC will just pushed her away??What if we have a chance on this relationship???

[Geishawhelk]

She broke up with you, remember? So she's now trying to get under your skin.....She's holding you on a string and keeping you dangling.

I hate it when people do this. They're the ones who want the distance, but when you comply with their wishes they get all needy....they just need to know they call the shots.

Anyone who messes with your emotions, is not worth dealing with, because they'll always expect YOU to go that extra nine yards for THEM.

 

Stay in NC, and tell her you're staying in NC until such a time she wants to get back together again, because otherwise all she's doing is messing with your head. Tell her that.

The next time you hear from her, also tell her, it will only be to say "let's get together again." because if she doesn't want that, then she should please stop trying to break NC.

 

Then just concentrate on being happy with or without her.

Our lives don't depend on other sto make us happy.

Remember that.

 

Oh, and I see from other posts, you've already been asked about writing properly.... sorry to repeat, then.

[Seducer11]

I hope NC is the right thing to do...Because i still want this relationship to work..Im juz worried that if i maintain NC she will think that i dont care about her anymore and that it will pushed her ever further.. <sigh>

[DSM-IV Tom]

Listen. If she wanted to get back together she would come right out and say it. She broke up with you. She knows the balls in her court. She could and would tell you she wants to get back together, straight up, if she did. You know?

 

But she didn't. She said she hopes your Christmas went well etc. Basically bs just to try to keep you hanging. Selfish *****.

[Dmoney28]

not every situation is the same. If you guys ended the relationship on a mutual agreement then Breaking NC after awhile seems ok. She misses you and is thinking about you. If she wernt, she would not have txt's you, and txt'd you again. Review your relationship, and the reasons of the breakup. If there is something you can do to help make positive changes in yourself, do that. Let her know you still care for her, and you're taking time to help better yourslef. During that "self improvment" time, work out any issues that may have led up to the breakup. Then continue LC in the mean time until she ready or comfortable to meet. Then you can show her this new and improved you...the you that dosent make the same mistakes or has the character flaws. Just my 2 cents

[Seducer11]

Hey DSM...My favourite member..LoL..Glad u replied..Well what if shes just trying to open up a conversation by doing so then after i replied she'll tell me she wanna get back together..(Damn im hoping now) but if she founds out im not interested in replying her then she'll back off and walk away..Im just worried about that..At the moment i havent reply her though..Still in NC..

[Dmoney28]

Women DO NOT come out and say what they exactly want all the time. I dont know the details of your breakup. If you hurt her, then she'll have her guard up. She may be indescisive. Her mind says one thing, but her heart says another.

[Seducer11]

Dmoney28, that exactly what i was thinking...Well we broke up because of the long distance relationship..She dump me because she said she missed me so much but theres nothing she can do about it..Even chatting on msn n talking on the phone is not enough and its painful for her..She still loves me but she just cant take it anymore..She believe shes not strong enough for this long distance relationship..

[Dexter Morgan]

Still i ignore everything n went to bed..Then an hour later she txt me on my hp n said "How are u? Hows ur christmas n when college will b reopen?I hope u're doing fine.." I didnt reply her n after 2 hours she sent me the same txt again...

 

Damn, looks like she realizes she $%^%&ed up good. I guess going clubbing with other guys wasn't such a great thing afterall. I am giong by your other thread where you said she wanted to go out partying with other guys.

 

 

I know all of u gonna tell me juz to ignore her txt n maintain the NC...I believe tat applies for sum1 who has given up on the relationship

 

sounds like you have, and you should if she wants the company of other men when she is away from you.

 

 

 

Its ok to do total NC n move on..The questions is wot should i do, if deep down in my heart i still want this relationship to work???

 

You want a relationship with someone that wants to be with other men and go clubbing when you are not around? Good luck with that.

 

 

I can see tat by texting me twice wit the same txt means she missed me so much or perhaps shes thinking of me..

 

Ya, thats the way it goes. She got a quick partying fix, and now its slow down time cuz of the holidays. So yes, she is missing you. But once the weekend hits and she is ready to party again, that'll change.

 

Move on. She aint worth it. And if you get back with her, don't say I didn't warn ya.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Why thank you for the compliment.

 

But I see Dmoney speaks some truth as usual.

 

The only way to fix that relationship is to end the long distance. (Which probably isn't possible, is it?) She may have broke up with you to get you to make a decision to move closer to her to be with her. But why can't you? And why can't she move closer to YOU?

 

I think there's no easy solution to this because she broke up with you only because she missed you. This sounds like a very sad situation that will continue to twist and burn. Answer though why neither of you could move closer to the other.

 

 

 

*EDIT*: Adding this on account of Dexters post.

-She went out clubbing with other guys and stuff? This ***** is a *****.

[Seducer11]

Dexter Morgan, cheers for ur reply..Well i didnt say she went out for clubbing with other guys...Her hobbies is playing with cars..So she decided to join the 350z club (as she own one) back at home.The problem is that she's the only girl in that club..And trust me she dosent have any other men..I know that for a fact..

[Seducer11]

DSM i wish i could move closer to her..But for the fact is that we're 700 thousand miles apart..Shes back in my home country..And im here in UK doing my final year HND..N i will be going back for good in june next year..Planning to do my degree though but by the looks of it, maybe i wont..

[DSM-IV Tom]

WTF she can't wait for you? June is like what, 5 months away? Really she's that impatient?

 

Tell her she needs help. Then tell her 350z's aren't even very good cars, and that her whole car group is laughable. Where are they at? I will bring my friend, who has a Supra with 1,200 Horsepower. He will laugh at that car group and make them all feel worthless.

[Seducer11]

That wat i was saying at my older post..That i had a mate who has a 4 years long distance relationship n still they survive n now they're married...If they can do that then why cant she??Yeah i love supra..I have an JDM integra n planning to get myself the new Nissan GTR..Btw shes in asia mate..I was born in wales then moved to asia n spent most of my life over there..Untill recently i went back to the UK..Btw i cant tell her that her ride n club is no good..Thats juz plain harsh..It'll just make her hate me even more...

[DSM-IV Tom]

Lmao I know it was harsh. I was being purposely cruel because she is ****ing with you and it pisses me off to see you being ****ed with.

 

This girls a tool.

[Seducer11]

DSM this is the email that she sent to me when she told me she wanna let go of the relationship..

 

"You must have hated me that much now.. I understand where this is going now with you deleting FB and the pics. I dont know what to say anymore, The distance between u n me is growing each day. I tried to overcome the distance but guess im not that strong afterall. Seriously, i don't know what im doing now. come to think of it, all the arguments are stupid and the reasons behind it are so ridiculous.

 

I truly apologize for not being strong but i would not want to hurt you more than i did now. Remember when i said that we will be together for as long as we want to? For now, i could say, i am not sure if i want that. because

1. i don't want to hurt you even more,

2. i don't want to make you sad because relationship is abt making each other happy, though u let me do wat i want over here and im happy but NOT u. I don't want there to be any regrets in the future between u and me.

 

Though u said u've changed for me, well i get your intention and i thank you for that. U are just too committed to this relationship but im not as committed as you are. When you were still here, i could feel myself slowly being committed to u because i know n i trust myself to be true to u. But now, this distance is really putting this relationship into a steady state that i dont feel much love anymore. I dont miss you as i used to. I get tired of just chatting to u online. Though i called u up, still i dont feel the thrill of love anymore.

 

i know i cant hold on to this relationship anymore. i dont want to lie to myself and give you hopes. I am letting go of this relationship. i dont wanna hurt you even further and make you sad. i dont wanna think anymore of all this. Just remember that this break up is not because of the Z club (which is how we started arguing), but this is because even before the argument, ive felt distant from u already. I get bored of being far from you. If only things had turned out different and i am sorry."

 

Thats her email that she sent to be when she decided to break up then i told her to hold on till i get back in june n she replied No promises..Then couple of days later, we chat on msn n she agree to hang on till june.But im not really confident abt this relationship so i decided to go NC with her hoping that it can revive the love..Afterall absence makes the heart grow fonder.So after a week of NC, here she is texting me on my handphone asking me how am i n hows the christmas..N she texted twice..

[DSM-IV Tom]

Ah I see. I have to give her some credit for being so honest. (Assuming that was complete honesty).

 

Girls never know what they want though. One moment they're all "Omg I want you" and the next "No". Some girls really need to hit their heads off the wall and knock some sense into themselves. That **** is bipolar and a disease. And they all act on emotion too which makes **** 10x worse.

 

Man there's no easy answers for you now. My opinion? This girl made it clear she doesn't want to wait. Don't hold onto her. She's trying to string you along or something. The first few replies in this topic were accurate. NC her and cut her the hell off. She's the one who did this to YOU.

[Seducer11]

She agree to hold on..Isnt that should be a consideration? Well so far i havent replied her..Still NC on my part...But somehow deep inside my heart, if i keep on doing NC then she'll juz back off and runaway.Who knows she misses me n that she wants me back.We're going in circle here arent we...<sigh>

[DSM-IV Tom]

You and me think alike. That's pretty cool.

 

If she goes away so easily, then she was never yours in the first place. You want to string each other along for another 5 months and hope that whatever is left dangling on the string will be enough for a relationship? That's stupid. You don't have the power you think you do. That's why I said this will twist and burn. You cannot save it when the reason you aren't together is because you literally AREN'T TOGETHER. It's not your fault she can't hold on. She's a dumb bird with a small brain most likely. Let her be in the "Z Club" lmao.

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter Morgan, cheers for ur reply..Well i didnt say she went out for clubbing with other guys...Her hobbies is playing with cars..So she decided to join the 350z club (as she own one) back at home.The problem is that she's the only girl in that club..And trust me she dosent have any other men..I know that for a fact..

 

 

LOL, man, I swear I read too fast for my own good sometimes. how did I miss that street race club thing....LOL.

 

Well, that makes all the difference in the world. So question is, is she hanging out with the guys in the club while doing club like activities? or is she going out with them partying?

 

So ignore what I said earlier *feeling like a dork*. If it is just her hanging out because she is the only girl in this car club, don't sweat it. if she is partying with them on other occasions, then its your call.

[Seducer11]

Dexter, So far she only spent time with them one time n thats during the bbq at her place where she invited everyone..N thats when i first found out about the club n our first arguments..

[Sysyphus28]

Fun game isn't it? NC, I mean. "She texted me!!" What should I do!

 

I know, I was thier, I felt like I was 13..............

 

Get closure my friend. Another 3 weeks or so of NC, no matter what! You will come out feeling like a strong and confident man. Then have a talk.

 

Time-------then a serious talk with a clear head and come to an understanding like an adult.

 

After seeing her again after NOT seeing her for a month or so SH** will become crystal on what you need to do.

 

I know.

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter, So far she only spent time with them one time n thats during the bbq at her place where she invited everyone..N thats when i first found out about the club n our first arguments..

 

Then I wouldn't be to upset about it. As long as it isn't one on one with any of them alone and as long as it isn't about going out and partying with them.