Feeling lost

[D-D]

I don't mean to bitch and complain, but I think I'll feel better if I just type this up somewhere... So if you don't want to listen to me whine, find another thread to read.

 

I turned 25 a week ago and I feel like crap in all honesty. I have every material posession I could ever ask for in life. I'm not rich by any means, but there really isn't anything else that I need. I can't figure out how I got to 25 and have so little to show for it. I'm still single, still a virgin and haven't ever even dated, let alone kissed a girl. I don't know what it is, but this drives me absolutely insane. My whole life, the only thing that I ever really wanted was to get married and have a family of my own. I've been looking for that special someone since I was at least 17 and haven't found a single glimer of hope.

 

I work a stressful job and go to work everyday and see all kinds of depressing and hopeless things. Then I come home on my days off and sit alone. All my friends are now married and have kids, leaving me on my own a lot of the time. I really avoid going out socially now anyways. It is so akward sitting there as the single guy when everyone else is dating, engaged or married. They look at you like something is wrong with you, or they assume your gay.

 

I used to feel like I had things all figured out. I always new what I wanted to do in University and my career, and never had any trouble in school getting to where I wanted to be. I never even applied for a job that I wasn't offered. We'll I've been living my dream for a few years now and I feel emptier than I ever have. I don't even remeber the last time that I felt "happy". I don't remember what that feels like anymore.

 

I never really dated in high school. I spent all my time focusing on my studies. I had some friends who were girls, but despite feelings being there sometimes between us, it never evolved into anything. I knew other girls that were intersted, but I never dated them, because they weren't attractive enough for me or I thought I would be the laughing stock of the school if I date that "loser".

 

I asked a few girls out here and there, but always got rejected. I had bad acne until I was about 21 and lost all my confidence. Being a shorter guy at 5'6" never helped either, as I have developed a stigma with my height, believing that no one will ever date a guy my height. I have always been, and continue to be very shy around women. I took up weight lifting a while ago, and work out religiously 6 days a week now. I get told that I look great physically, but I think I have less confidence now than back in High School.

 

University was the same. Had really only one date with an old friend that never went anywhere. Asked a few girls out, but eventually gave up trying. Decided my University days were better spent studying than chasing girls who would never be interested in me. In my last semester of University, my father was diagnosed terminally ill with Cancer and died shortly after. Before I knew it I completed a University degree and ended up in a career that I had wanted for several years.

 

Now it has been a few years, and I have just lost all hope. I had a couple of dates this year. One girl I met through work, who led me on for a while then cut me off. Followed that with a blind date with zero chemistry for either party. I had a co-worker that I had been interested in for almost a year. Against better judgment, I took a chance and asked her out. I thought we had so much in common, but after one date, she turned out to be totally opposite of the girl I knew from work. That obviously went no-where. I can't figure out why, but I still am not over her. I think it is just because she is probably the most beautiful woman I ever met.

 

I've just completely given up now. I don't even want to try going on dates or flirting or anything like that. I feel hopelessly lost in trying to find that special someone. My friends keep to say trying, but each time I fail I get more and more frustrated and angry with myself. I was going to try online dating, but I don't want to wast money on that, because I know I won't find anyone there either.

 

My friends say I am picky, but I don't think I am. All I ask for is a girl who is a good person, in good physical shape and who is at least in some shape or form attractive to me. Maybe my friends are right and I blew off all the girls that I could have been with because I am too picky??? It just feels like my life started to fall apart after my father died, and despite my efforts, I haven't been able to turn it around again.

 

I really feel like quitting my job and flying to Africa to work for the UN or some other international aid organization. Do something where I actually make a difference, and get away from my life here. Take my mind off things for a bit.

 

I really lost my faith. I used to go to church all the time, but between my personal life being messed up and the stuff I see at work, I really question my own belief in God. I hardly go to church anymore. I would give up every material posession I own to meet that right person and start a family. To me, getting married and having a family is the most important thing someone does in life. So why does God never give you the most important thing you want?

 

I really wish I knew where I screwed up in life. Everyone around me seems so happy and has everything figured out. I have absolutely no clue as to what I am doing anymore. I hate waking up every morning, cause I know it will be yet another crappy day! I just want to scream at the top of my lungs sometimes! I just don't know what to do anymore. I try and remind myself how much worse my life could be (i.e. starving, poor, unemployed), but It doesn't help much. I tried being happy as a single guy, doing things on my own, but even that felt depressing. Maybe I am just the most selfish person in the world for feeling this way!

 

All I know is that I probably have another 50 years to live at least, and if things keep going the way they have, it will be a long 50 years. I just want to make things right again. With my mental state now, it is no wonder I am single. Who would want to hang out with a grumpy guy all day?

 

Anyhow, I appreciate it you are still reading my rant. Feels good sometimes just to write your feelings down.

 

I hope everyone had a much happier Holiday Season than grumpy, selfish me!!!

[Mistake1231]

I am kinda in your boat. I am 26 and have money. Dude don't go to the U.N. your problems will be there when you get back. Oh yeah and I love that all of my friends have girlfriends, thats my favorite being that guy. Anyway all I can say is keep trying and keep your head up. I just can't believe that someone out there doesn't appreciate our drive. I feel like a good job is a plus. Every women I meet either doesn't care or wants to end up with a CEO. All I can do is keep trying and keep my head up. Sorry I have no better advice. Also join a gym and dress nice, you feel better

[Surfer Dude]

I wish I had any useful advice to give you. What can I say, just keep your head up and don't give up.

 

I'm not a virgin, but I've had my fair share of rejections after my ex dumped me. It's depressing yeah, but what can you do about it really?

 

The only thing that could give meaning to my life is doing additional activities, working on projects, traveling etc. I haven't done half of those things, but they seem like things that can get you out of misery and monotony. Doing nothing all days is mental suicide.

[saturnfell]

Hi,

 

You shouldn't quit and you most certainly shouldn't run away. It won't be any easier for you somewhere else, in fact, it may be more difficult because you'll be so far from your comfort zone, you will have a great deal of finding any level ground. That perfect someone is somewhere, waiting for you. One thing I will say, until you're ok that you're single, she won't come into your life. You need to be ok with your situation before anyone can come into your life. You need to decide who you want to invite into your life as well. Dating is trial and error. Don't think about all the things you haven't done, that's negative energy. Think about what you want, and make your focus the positive aspects of that. Does that make sense?