spookie Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I'm driving myself nuts checking his FB twenty times a day. That's it. I'm going to quit the stalking. And I'm ending the imagination. THAT'S IT.
Citizen Erased Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I doubt this will last. But I'm glad you feel strong for the moment.
zenith Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I'm driving myself nuts checking his FB twenty times a day. THAT'S IT. that is kinda spooky...
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 We'll see how long that lasts. You do need to stop that, though. It is totally fueling your obsession.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Going cold turkey is the best way. Just keep in mind that it'll get more and more easier over time.
JamesM Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 So why do you want to stop? Now you will drive yourself nuts wondering what is on his FB.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 You should just change your status to "in a relationship with ******(this guy) and see what he says.
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 You should just change your status to "in a relationship with ******(this guy) and see what he says. Lmao. I'd do that if I were prepared to be unemployed, cause it might make it so awkward I'd have to quit. The problem is that I really like my job.
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 I understand the logic behind needing to stop all the stalking. It's pointless to keep checking his page. It brings me no closer to bedding him; in fact, it probably sets me back, as all the energy I put into my detective work regarding all the females he's aquainted with makes me a less interesting person. But I ... just... can't. I'm going insane wondering about every new girl he becomes friends with. Where did he meet her? Is he going to hang out with her at the Bar Crawl he has scheduled for this evening? Is he looking to hook up with someone? Did he already hook up with her? Does she like him? Does he think she's hot? Does he ever think about me? Ughhhhhhh.
allina Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 This is when FB and myspace are a bad idea, you're going to drive yourself nuts, or even more nuts Now you're sort of stuck because it's information on him you have access to, and you'll look. If you defriend him it's weird.
whichwayisup Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Do yourself a favour and delete your FB account.
confused_2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Okay, i was just wondering what I should do here and now I see this thread. I want to defriend someone on facebook that I dated for a while and I'm still I guess you could say acquaintecs with. We're definitely friendly, but she has no interest in seeing me anymore and we don't talk to each other about what's going on in our lives. I just don't feel comfortable having access to her life through facebook anymore and will be able to get over her so much easier if she doesn't keep popping up in my life on facebook. I don't want to seem weird or immature though, so I don't know what to do. It just sucks when you go from sharing stuff about peoples lives personally and it regresses into an empty facebook connection. So what do I do?
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 Do yourself a favour and delete your FB account. That's a little extreme. FB serves lots of other purposes for me. I should have enough willpower to stop stalking him.
allina Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Okay, i was just wondering what I should do here and now I see this thread. I want to defriend someone on facebook that I dated for a while and I'm still I guess you could say acquaintecs with. We're definitely friendly, but she has no interest in seeing me anymore and we don't talk to each other about what's going on in our lives. I just don't feel comfortable having access to her life through facebook anymore and will be able to get over her so much easier if she doesn't keep popping up in my life on facebook. I don't want to seem weird or immature though, so I don't know what to do. It just sucks when you go from sharing stuff about peoples lives personally and it regresses into an empty facebook connection. So what do I do? Just delete her, she might not even notice. If she messages to ask you why, which isn't likely, kindly tell her the truth,
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 This is when FB and myspace are a bad idea, you're going to drive yourself nuts, or even more nuts Now you're sort of stuck because it's information on him you have access to, and you'll look. If you defriend him it's weird. Yup, this is why I shoudln't ahve friended him in the first place. I KNEW it'd be worthless except as another bad habit that makes me feel crappy about myself.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 The thing is Spookie, that this is all in your head. And every time you check out his FB, it grows and grows. He's becoming a complete fantasy figure now, not even a real person. I have done this. And it is ALL in you. The good thing is, that it is ALL in YOU. You have the power to knock him off the pedestal, because you put him up there. I really and truly understand what you are going through. I think you need some time off. Time off from the job, time off from FB, time AWAY from Chicago and your life there. Now I don't nmean go back to Austin and that crowd. Book yourself a nice weekend in Aruba or something. Ideally you could take off a month or so to really readjust yourself, but I know that is rarely an option. This guy isn't so great. If you actually dated him and spent time with him, I guarantee you would be bored by Friday. He will fart in bed. He will leave his underwear on the bathroom floor. He will talk to his mom WAAAAY too much. Trust me, these things will happen.
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 The thing is Spookie, that this is all in your head. And every time you check out his FB, it grows and grows. He's becoming a complete fantasy figure now, not even a real person. I have done this. And it is ALL in you. The good thing is, that it is ALL in YOU. You have the power to knock him off the pedestal, because you put him up there. I really and truly understand what you are going through. I think you need some time off. Time off from the job, time off from FB, time AWAY from Chicago and your life there. Now I don't nmean go back to Austin and that crowd. Book yourself a nice weekend in Aruba or something. Ideally you could take off a month or so to really readjust yourself, but I know that is rarely an option. This guy isn't so great. If you actually dated him and spent time with him, I guarantee you would be bored by Friday. He will fart in bed. He will leave his underwear on the bathroom floor. He will talk to his mom WAAAAY too much. Trust me, these things will happen. Heh. You're probably right. I know this. It's just hard for me not to FEEL like I love him so much I can deal with ANY nasty surprises. I'm currently at home for a long weekend, but I think having all this free time and nothing to do just makes it harder to take time off thinking. I can't wait to get back to my real life, where at least I am busy... but I have a couple of weeks of vacation coming up and I might decide to go somewhere fun by myself. I was going to just stay home and write but that sounds like a really great idea now that you mention it.
Author spookie Posted December 27, 2008 Author Posted December 27, 2008 What happened to the post telling me to get some psych help?? :bunny:
Star Gazer Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I'm going insane wondering about every new girl he becomes friends with. Where did he meet her? Is he going to hang out with her at the Bar Crawl he has scheduled for this evening? Is he looking to hook up with someone? Did he already hook up with her? Does she like him? Does he think she's hot? Does he ever think about me? Ughhhhhhh. I can SO relate to this train of thought, as can my fellow neurotic girlfriends. (At least those of them who are honest and are smitten with boys who have FB/MS. ) The thing is Spookie, that this is all in your head. And every time you check out his FB, it grows and grows. He's becoming a complete fantasy figure now, not even a real person. I have done this. And it is ALL in you. The good thing is, that it is ALL in YOU. You have the power to knock him off the pedestal, because you put him up there. This guy isn't so great. If you actually dated him and spent time with him, I guarantee you would be bored by Friday. He will fart in bed. He will leave his underwear on the bathroom floor. He will talk to his mom WAAAAY too much. Trust me, these things will happen. And I agree with all of this as well. The key is this (and it's really, really simple): You'll only realize he ain't all that IF, and ONLY if, you stop looking. That's when reality will set in... and you really WANT that reality to set in so that the agony disappears. So allow it to happen. Stop looking.
Ratherunique Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Deactivate your facebook account or just plain cancel it.
shadowplay Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 I wasn't consciously stalking my crush/mr harvard on facebook, but I was getting CONSTANT updates in my news feed about his status (he changes it about ten times a day) so in a way his fb was stalking me. I was irritated by constantly being reminded of him. Tried figuring out a way of removing him from my newsfeed but that didn't work. Finally I just unfriended him. That's officially cutting the cord. But my ex ex ex who I'm close with still has my crush as a friend, so if I ever have the extreme urge to check out his profile there's a way. Heh. Unfortunately you can't exactly unfriend your boss without making things even more awkward. I'm not sure what to tell you. Just stop looking!
CommitmentPhobe Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Find something to do that gets you away from your machine.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Why do you think that "bedding" this man will give you happiness? He may likely just bed you...then chuck you. How will that bring you happiness? Self-confidence in knowing you were good enough to be his f**k and chuck?
MN randomguy Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Good to know you girls have these problems too. I defriended, wasn't a boss or anything. HOwever stayed friends with her friend. Got some news, not all of it. Then one day I was weak and googled her. I saw her sister's MS profile. She had posted bragging about how she found a replacement boyfriend before she had broken up with the previous. And how she wanted to go to the lake and flirt with guys. That make things a little easier for me to find a flaw. She was just in it for the attention. Looking back I played my cards right. Totally irreleant to the conversation. I just can't tell any of my friends that I'm a stalker:o
WhenWillSheLearn Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Why not just defriend HIM? Save your sanity! I defriended my ex Felt so GOOOOOOD!!
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