tinny Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 ok hi everyone i need some help with this girl that i like ok here it is we have been friends for 3 yrs and i have a crush on her but im not sure how or when i should tell her how i feel and i dont want to lose our friendship and secondly if we were at the movies together what so called "moves" could i do when we were watching??? plz help thx
Konfuzion Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Get ready for the "your like a brother to me" response.
Author tinny Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 yeh well thx for that but you dont think you could actually help me eh??
JohnnyBlaze Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 First off, I suspect Konfuzion will be right. She has seen you as a friend for three years now. I'm not saying this as a "give up, you've already lost" statement, but you do need to realize that you have a huge obstacle to overcome. I wouldn't worry about 'movie moves' right now. The first thing you have to do is get her to agree to go out with you - you need to make it clear you want to take her out as a date, not as a friend. Otherwise, anything you do during the date will just come across as creepy. If she does say yes, now you have to figure out what to do. Do you normally go to the movies together? If so, scratch it from the list. You'll need to do something new with her; something that she doesn't normally do with you as just a friend. After all, you don't want her to see you as 'a friend' any more. Doing things or going to places that you two have always done as friends will only reinforce her idea of you as a friend. So find something new and exciting. You want her to remember this date when she's 96. Of course, on the other hand, don't push the moves too quickly. Just like making moves without telling her it's a date, too much too early will be creepy. Yes, you've known her for years, but treat this like any other date; you can try for a kiss if you want (watch the signs, positive or negative), but don't aim for anything more. If she wants to take it further, great, but leave it to her to push things. And, of course, I saved the worst for last. Between the 'friend zone' (which you're in) and the 'dating zone' (which you want to be in) is a lovely abyss with no safety net. If you try to make the leap and fail, you may wind up out of both groups. Since you two have such history, you have a better chance than most of bouncing back into the friend zone, but you need to realize that you could wind up not having her as a date or as a friend. Just something to consider. I know all this probably doesn't sound too optimistic. I apologize for that (this is actually the most optimistic version of what I was going to post), but you do have a pretty big mountain to climb. Good luck, and keep us posted.
Author tinny Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 thx ill take your advice but im kinda the shy guy and even being a friend with her i sumtimes trip over my words a bit if u know wat i mean so wat should i do and also wat kinda things could i say that would make her more interested or to help me be less nervous? thx again
Still Trying Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Not the advice you want to hear: Stay friends. I cherish the few female friendships that I have that aren't sexual. The older you get the more you realize that a real friendship is potentially a lot more important than someone that you dated. That said, (and that's my honest and primary advice), if you can't stand just being friends, tell her this. It may seem crazy but if you're trying to figure out where she is with her feelings towards you simply by trying to pick up on them, at this point, good luck. You've been friends for so long now that a little flirting could be entirely misconstrued. A conversations along the lines of, "Hey I know we've been friends for a long time now but I have to admit that I've always been attracted to you. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship, but would you ever consider going out on a date with me, you know as more than just friends?" But blunt and forward with it - and I agree if you try any moves before you let her know about your intentions you're only going to end up burnt, and labeled as creepy. You need to think about what the friendship means to you in the first place too, are you willing to risk losing the friendship in order to pursue a relationship?
Author tinny Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 hey thx for the advice maybe i will just find sumone else but still........ anyway thx guys for your tips and you have anything else to add by all means add it thx agin guys
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