FeedingOnFever Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 It's getting so hard. He's been sabotaging NC by showing up to get his things sporadically. I'm already sabotaging myself enough as it is. I'm going to drop his stuff off at a house he occasionally stays at. That way he has no reason to be here anymore. Ever since he said that he hasn't written me off forever, and that there is a chance for us to be together someday (maybe), I have been utterly incapable of giving up on him. I really need to. I want to talk to him one last time. I want to be strong enough to tell him that "maybe someday" isn't good for me, and that it really has to be 100% over. I just feel like I've spoken to him too much already. I can't stand the thought of not being his friend. He was my best, closest friend. I thought Christmas was going well so far. I was really wrong and I feel so weak and confused right now, like I've "used up" my friends' resources as well.
TeaAbraham Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 You really need to tell him. The wishy-washy stuff doesn't fly. It's just stringing out your pain. I don't think that is his intention at all, but "sort-of, maybe" doesn't work with relationships. I know what you mean about not being his friend. I don't think you could be his friend though. You still have feelings for him, and he doesn't have feelings for you. Things have changed unfortunately. Gotta accept it. If neither of you loved the other it could work, but not like this. Everybody's ex is their closest and best friend. Unfortunately sometimes they break our hearts and we lose them. I lost both my ex and my best guy friend in one night as I found out they had been getting together behind my back. Poof, your life is not what it used to be. It's sad, but that's what you've got in front of you right now. C'est la vie. Be strong. Sucks using up your friends resource =-\ I never really had a friends resource though. The two people I could talk to about this kind of stuff betrayed me. But you just gotta keep movin on.
MWH Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I want to talk to him one last time. I want to be strong enough to tell him that "maybe someday" isn't good for me, and that it really has to be 100% over. I just feel like I've spoken to him too much already. I can't stand the thought of not being his friend. He was my best, closest friend. I thought Christmas was going well so far. I was really wrong and I feel so weak and confused right now, like I've "used up" my friends' resources as well. Good for you. Dont be like I used to be when you say it though- you have to MEAN it. Never settle for anytihing less than what yo truly deserve. I've been down that road with my ex. Here I am. Need I say more? Best of luck to you. Peace, MWH
Xecoxity Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I know how you feel, I may be to young just 20 but my ex-gf of 2 and a half years left me when I left for boot camp, It was the hardest time of my life, came back home and she acts as if shes still my best friend I had to tell her I didnt want to see her anymore. NC really is the best and dont ever regret things, the pain does go away in time just be strong just think "its their lost" I was a great bf anyways stay strong
hereandnow Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I've had the same problem since the breakup with my ex gf 2 months ago. She left it "open", so I had a really hard time believing it is over. I finally decided I need to give NC an honest shot. Today is Day 10! I made it 9 days last time and then broke, but last time I was thinking about calling her for days up to that point. Not this time! I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing, but hope hasn't died yet. I haven't been able to consciously force myself to lose the hope of reconciliation, but I'm doing all I can to get myself there! My heart goes out to you. Keep posting!
steve9417 Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Hi Pyropathos - if you think about the "reality" of your situation then you'll not have to give up hope ....... hope will just disappear because what you've described is not love but abuse that is of course assuming that you value yourself more than how he's treating you ...... very hard to leave someone you love but the short term pain will one day be a small price for what you'll gain
Author FeedingOnFever Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 Instead of making a new thread I'm going to post here. I left my ex with the shortest, bluntest email imaginable. I told him to stay away from me. He has. My respect for him was so low for so long, but today he did something that regained him some of my respect. He stood up for himself and walked away from the new girl, because of the way she was treating him. Before this I just heard stories about how different he was. I could see the change too. Gone was the headstrong, self-assured guy I knew... he was meek and afraid and had 0 self-respect. It was creepy, like watching someone I knew mutate into a different creature. Tonight it looks like some of his strength is coming back, and I honestly am happy for him. I hope he can be by himself for a while, take stock of his life... that's what I want for myself too. Just... be comfortable in your own skin, by yourself, with yourself, and get to know yourself. Figure out what you want and where you're going. Be content. Then find love. I'm skeptical... he might jump into another relationship. But he also might not. Perhaps he's learning that he needs to pick and choose when these things happen, because it's not working. I have hopes for him, and I do believe there is a chance he might take that much-needed time for himself. I've been sitting on an email for a few weeks. It's a "I don't hate you. Thanks for respecting my wishes on giving me space." kind of email. Very, very short. Neutral and to the point. I wanted to send it... I hate friction between myself and others, and it's haunting my dreams. I'm afraid to sleep because I have had nightmares about him every night since I meanly told him to get lost. I'm not a nasty person by nature and it hurt me that I was rude to someone else. It's not like me.... So there I am. I want to send the email but I'm afraid to. This is the longest NC I've ever had. I sort of want to add a "No need to respond to this, I just wanted to clear the air." disclaimer to the end of the email. I dunno though. I just want my peaceful nights of sleep back... school just started and I am such a tired wreck. I hope that letting him know I'm not going to stab him in the eye will give ME some peace of mind. I hate watching anyone squirm and suffer. Thoughts? BTW, how are you all doing? I know a few people updated me on their situations, because they had similar issues. I'm sure our situations have now differed greatly from one anothers (my life is so bloody crazy all of a sudden), but I'm curious on how you're doing.
Recommended Posts