wooha Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 My ex and I were supposed to get married a while back, and there was a prenup involved only for my familys business. I made it clear to her early in the relationship that this would take place. I must also say that nothing of mine personally was involved. I even bought a house and put her name on it and I was responsible for the note-I loved her and trusted her very much. When it came wedding time, and the prenup was presented we fought for weeks. She agreed finally, but at the last minute balked(days before this awesome event). I lost it, I was crushed and confused. She agreed again, but by that time I just could'nt marry her if all she worried about was money. I was NOT the one that insisted on the prenup might I add. Anyway, we have been trying to work it out, with some fights in there too. A couple of weeks ago she came over, we had sex, and later that night she got angry w/me and we did'nt talk. When we finally did, I told her enough was enough-I loved her, and wanted to get married(she had been wanting the same) and she told me that in the week we were apart, she cracked another guy. Now, I dont know what to do. I still love her but am deeply hurt by this, and everytime I get my mind right, and say its over she tells me she loves and misses me and I melt. Can this be fixed? Is she just playing me for revenge? And I cant stand the thought of her shady-ass still talking to him, when she is still talking to me. How can I stop this pain? I love her, but I can't take it.
samspade Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that, brother. I know you must be filled with anguish. As someone not connected emotionally to the situation, after reading your post, I think you would do well to end it. First of all, her repeated refusal to sign the prenup, and the way she picked fights with you, suggests to me that she wasn't really in it 100% and was looking for ways out. A man should not be ashamed to arrange a prenup any more than a woman should not be ashamed to use birth control - they are both prophylactics. Your life and your business are your "baby," and you are right to protect what you've worked for. Regardless, it sounds like she was after more than your sweet, tender heart, my friend - or she'd have had no problem with it. More importantly, though, is the fact that she banged another guy, and so quickly. A week apart? This woman is BEGGING for the boot. The fact that she tells you she loves you and misses you shows she expects that you'll give her a free pass....if you actually DO marry this chick, she will be likely repeating this behavior if she thinks she can get away with it. I know it's easier said than done because I believe you when you say you love her....but read what I just wrote. You will save yourself a WORLD of hurt if you abort this relationship, and fast. She wants that other guy? Let him have her! Let her pick HIS bones dry. You, my friend, have been given a huge gift with this confession...the gift to opt out of this whole mess before you tied the knot, had kids, and let her ruin your life. Don't let this sour you...there are much better women out there. Take control and move on.
lkjh Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I agree with sam. It was good that she told you but come on 1 week! Also, the fact that she is still in contact with the guy should be a huge red flag.
Adri Ana Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I agree with sam. It was good that she told you but come on 1 week! Also, the fact that she is still in contact with the guy should be a huge red flag. I agree with sam too . She will be no good for you . Marriage is not a joke . You need a responsible and a trustworthy person beside . She is not such .
trueblue72ny Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 yikes! you have my support my friend. what a difficult decision facing you. its going to hurt whatever you do. and who caused the hurt? she did. past behavior is indicative of future behavior. it will always be in the back of your mind if you go forward with this. can you trust her now? what about 5 years down the road, what if things get difficult 10 years down the road? is she going to have affairs behind your back? are you going to be able to trust her?
mark982 Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 buddy i feel for you. but drop her like a hot potatoe. this will nag at you 4 ever. plus can you honestly go away on business and trust her now? what happens after your next fight? it's over. sorry to say that,but you should be happy she showed her true colors now, rather than after you're married.plus if you take her back after doing another guy, she'll lose all respect 4 you.
SierraRose Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I am a woman and I can tell you this..if I am in love with a man there is no way in hell I could sleep with another. I don't care who broke up with who-if your heart belongs to someone the love doesn't go away overnight.
Geishawhelk Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Wooha, as a woman, I deplore your GF's actions, I think thery're utterly unforgivable, and they seem to show her true, materialistic colours. Compare it to Billie Piper's (Doctor Who actress, nice gal) divorce decision (in the UK) from the celeb disc jokey and personality Chris Evans. (I know, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about but) she not only refused hundreds of financial offers from different newspapers to air their dirty linen in public and talk about their divorce, but she also refused to take any money from him in a divorce settlement, because she didn't need it and she respected him and his career too much. needless to say they are actually the best of pals, even though they're now with other people. Your ex is a waste of time, space effort and breath. She's a nasty, manipulative gold-digger with no scruples, and I'd than whatever Gods there be that you've been saved now.
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