Knight_Ctrl Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Its been two months since my breakup, and I've been totally devastated since. Well today it hit home, because I know that if we were still together right now we would be sharing gifts and having a good time. So I wrote her a note. The general idea of it was all about what I've been trying to do to get over her and how none of it has worked, how much I still care. And then at the end of my rant I just asked her to leave the guy shes with so she can truly be single like she originally told me she wanted to be when we broke up. That whole "i need space" thing. She came over to pick it up because I am unable to drive due to broken ankle. And as soon as I opened the door our eyes met, we shared a hug, and she even held my hand a little. I gave her the note, looked her in the eyes and said "please think about whats in there". At the end of the note I just said "for everything that I've done for you ever, please just work with me a little bit.".... I know I may have just made a huge mistake, but im currently slightly intoxicated (Sorry dsm i took the vodka) and I feel like this is something I needed to do.
Dmoney28 Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 yeah, that sounds like a alchohol induced move. I know you're probly drunk as a skunk right now from vodka. But i know when you sober up you will be posting how you really feel about that. But you are feeling hurt so its understandable.....dangerous...but understandable. Now all power you had over your emotions due to NC is gone. Be strong
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 I'm doing pretty ok right now, havent been taking shots or anything like that. I may regret it when I come around, but maybe I just needed an alcohol induced kick in the balls to get things rolling in the right direction. Seeing her was both extremely painful but at the same time fantastic....just to hold her again.....maybe I'm reaching out for nothing, who knows. I dont feel like I can get hurt anymore than I already am....what have I got to lose? She doesn't come back??? She wasn't going to unless I tried anyway......
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 probably......maybe she wont even get back to me....who knows. NC hasn't been working, I've lost the faith.....**** guys........
Dmoney28 Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 the reason why NC hasnt worked is because.... 1. you have not been cosistent with it. How many times have you contacted her, or responded to her txt?....hmmmm 2 you have to be patient, sometimes it could take months to heal or maybe for her to see she really wants you instead. and any peace of mind you had is gone when you sober up. I 100% agree with DSM on this one.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 And I agree 100% with Dmoney. What the hell are you doing? How many times have I been wrong when it comes to telling you what you should do? Damn it dude, you're ****ing yourself over. Tell us exactly what you wrote in that note.
Seducer11 Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 I have to agree wit DSM n Dmoney28..I know ive only been doing NC wit my ex for a week (nothing happen so far) n it dosent compared to ur NC.I know that its painful for u to hold on to the NC.I also know tat its really hard as i experience it as well rite now.Especially when she dosent give a damn abt us being gone for good.But my friend we need to have a little faith.Rome wasnt build in one day !!!! Now tat u have broke the NC im sure when u get sober u'll be back to where u started and tats even more painful. "Love is like a butterfly,hold it too tight, it'll crush,hold it too loose, it'll fly." I admit tat its hard to maintain the NC without breaking it..I myself found tat i was an inch to break the NC but then i came to my sense tat if this is the best thing for us then why not..What i would normally do when im on the urge to break the NC is tat i always visited this website n read abt other ppl problems n remind myself how lucky i am not to be on the same boat as some of the people here who faced even more bigger problem.N yet some of them survive..If they can do it, then why cant we???
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 It was a bunch of stuff about how I've tried to not care, hate her, be happy for her and none of it has worked. How much I've missed her and how all of the stuff she said to me couldn't have possibly just been a lie. How I couldn't have been fully replaced so fast. Then I asked her to leave the guy shes with currently just so she can have her alone time like she originally wanted (its what she told me when we broke up) and to decide if everything we had that was so perfect was worth throwing away. Then I told her I still love her and I'll await her reply. Pretty much it in a nutshell.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Dude your ex is insane. I am telling you this honestly. I understand why you wanted to bash her and flip out on her. It sounds as if she has a disorder. Cut her off 100%. Because she is insane and you can never help or save her. She is THAT GUYS PROBLEM NOW.
Dmoney28 Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 well, if it made you ''feel better", even though your intoxicated, more power to you. But i would not have poured out my feelings like that...too much time has past by for that...that was a "rooky" move. That kind of thing should be done at the begining, just to leave in her mind how you feel about her,over you NC time. I dont claim to know the female mind...i'm not sure any man can claim that. But women want confidence, maturity and respect from a man. If you dont pratice those things it makes you look whiny, weak and clingy. Take it from someone who CAUSED a break up, you got to MAN up. You got to toughen your skin and deal with the pain. It hurts and it sucks. But if you had a small glimmer of hope with her....your pushing her away. Now she has you on a string. I know it sucks we humans play mind games to protect out emotions and pride. But she has you by the nose. By doing NC or NFC it gives you... 1. a sesnse of self confidence 2. Allows you to heal 3. Allows you to re-connect with yourself, make positive changes and prepare for life without her 4. Shows her you dont NEED her but WANT her, and you can live your life indepent of her. 5. She see's you more desirable because she see's these positive changes you made , as well as your confident persona. just something to think about. I made the same mistakes you did. And i have been broken up for 4 months now. But i STOPPED asking, begging, crying, pouring my heart out and wearing my heart on my sleeve. She's meeting me for cofee sat. This is after 5 days strict NC on my part. She finally left a message asking to see me. So just hang in there. You never know what could happen if you let nature take its course.
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