Still Angry( a little long)

[BabyBlu]

My ex & I happened to break up last month.

 

I'm still reeling from this.

 

I did everything I could to salvage our relationship. I did almost everything to make him happy. I even cooked for him a few times. I even had sex with him 2+ times when he wanted to.

 

We decided to continue our relationship in long distance mode for a little while (at least 5-7 months) after he moved. Something in my gut told me I couldn't trust him. He even admitted that he was afraid he couldn't stay faithful to me.

 

A week later(over the phone), he told me that he drunk a few drinks & went to a bar after we had a fight one night. He told me that a woman pulled his pants down & he claimed nothing happened because "it didn't feel right". I knew that she gave him oral sex. He's a bad liar.

 

I decided to break up with him. He called me on the phone crying. He asked me to marry him. I think he did because he was afraid of losing me...

 

A week later, he messaged me on myspace(in true wimp fashion) & admitted that he cheated on me 4 other times. He then "apologized" for what he did. He still looks at my myspace profile and messages me. I hate him. I know it sounds harsh but he gave me his word that he would never hurt me. He even told me he loved me. How could someone who got cheated on by an ex girlfriend & most likely know how it hurts do the same to another?

 

What did I do wrong for him to cheat on me? Was I too attentive? Should I have been more bitchy? I think I wasn't attractive enough for him. What can I do to not let this happen to me again

[saturnfell]

First things first, don't blame yourself for him cheating on you. I don't know the background of your relationship, but what I do know is people who cheat, cheat.

 

It's easy to look in the mirror right now and feel as though you're unattractive. This is normal. Fact of the matter is, you're fine. He is the one who is flawed. Don't start neglecting yourself of things, make sure you do all the things you have always done. It's easy to take a shower, throw your hair up, not wear make up and go about your day. This is a mistake. Don't keep the good things in life from yourself. Right now you need to persevere and you will.

 

It seems he needs to grow. He needs time to think about what he wants from life. Life is huge and knowing who is right for you goes through trial and error.

[EmperorR]

Trust me you did nothing to make him cheat. My ex cheated on me as well and I treated her like a princess, I wondered the same thing you did, what did I do, then I realize there was nothing I could do differently, she cheaed because she is weak, she has a flaw she doesn't know how to be faithful.

[BabyBlu]

Thanks for the replies. I've been doing some thinking & I realize he's just a big little boy.

 

The last time he messaged me was yesterday.

 

I felt there was no closure when he broke up with me over the internet. So, I decided to tell him what I have thought of him.I blocked him & it is now day 1 of no contact.

 

There's no way he could have been 'sorry' for cheating on me. I have told him how disgusting cheating is. It felt like I was talking to a wall for 7 months... That's one of my faults... I think too much.