Sideburns Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 As I sit her staring at the screen knowing I just want to scream at the sky and tear my house apart I find that I have very little fortitude in regards to writing out my story. The tale is very complicated with many twists and turns that is to say many things she and I did wrong. When I reduce it to brass tacks it is as follows: I met a girl who was dating an acquaintance of mine for a couple weeks. I was completely smitten by her and drew her away from him into my arms. We moved in together, I cared for and supported her. One day last October she turned to me in bed and said "I love you" and I said it back, body trembling, I was so scared and excited. I lived and breathed for this woman and made the classic mistake of putting her on high. After living together for 6 months I find that she has been two timing me the entire time with the guy she left before. I confronted the two of them in the street 2 days ago and she said she wanted to leave me and subsequently flew half way across the country with him for the holidays. Needless to say I am shattered and am stifled with seething rage conflicted by a deep love that is still desperately clinging to her asking all the standard 'what could I have done better? where did I go wrong? etc..' My friends have all said to me "I'm sorry you're hurt but I'm glad she's gone". I have no idea what to do, all her belongings are still here and I want to toss them in the lake but I know that being malicious will not give me any satisfaction and in fact will probably make me feel worse. I feel like a damned fool because I want her back so bad but she can not be trusted at all. I can actualize the stages of breakups etc. but this woman has emotionally abused me for 8 months and I don't feel like I have the strength to go through this part. I am so drained I just want to cry all the time but don't have the energy. I don't know what else to say other than quote a song my old roommate wrote: "I have first hand knowledge of a foolish man's disease ... You want to shed this heart for coming on too strong ... but at least I walk away with this pocket full of songs" -Adam Webster of The Funky Truth http://www.thefunkytruth.com Anyroad, that's my tale in a nutshell.
Dmoney28 Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 i'm sorry for the pain you are going through righ tnow. I know this situation seems like it will go on forever. But time as EVERYONE says will ease the hurt.
saturnfell Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 I could tell you not to worry about her belongings, but they are surrounding you in your home, so they make you think of her. The best thing to do, think about the situation. Think about the things she did compared to all you did. She misled you and hurt you. She took advantage of a situation and manipulated it. In time, you'll become a better man for this.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Why does this topic sound like some love novel? Do you talk/write like that all the time?
letters Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Why does this topic sound like some love novel? Do you talk/write like that all the time? Lol, I noticed how prolific Sideburns wrote... pretty good writer, strangely if felt good to read. I don't mean to rub anything in sideburns, but I'm loosing my mind reading your story agiain and again... such a good writer.... I hope you heal soon.
Author Sideburns Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 I would be remiss if I didn't not speedily respond to you fine people who have been nice enough to lend an ocular-ear, so to speak, and offer such kind words towards my writing - and yes speaking. I slightly regret my usage of the word "guy" in my initial post. However that slip shows you a bit more of who I am, imperfect and subject to my subconsciousness. I will note that in speaking to this person in the street with her, after he cried in the street to the news of his own betrayal, we shook hands and said "no hard feelings". As I attempt a light sashay down the road from this relationship I reflect upon the innumerable lessons learned from the whole experience and remind myself that things are still in motion. The Brutus to my Cesar (that is my ex) once comforted me when I was sad by saying, tongue firmly in cheek "The world can not end today because it is already tomorrow in Australia". In saying so she strangely comforts me now. Thank you and a Merry Christmas to all, -S P.S. If anyone else has any other comments or ideas to impart I will gladly read and try to respond in a timely fashion. I am also reasonably susceptible to flattery so feel free to continue to fluff my feathers. Cheers.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Hey, I wasn't giving this guy a compliment. He needs to speak normal, because right now he is coming off extremely pretentious. You aren't writing a novel, you're talking about how your ex f'd you over. Talk normal so I can discern what advice to give. Right now my advice is cut the pretentious poetry and speak from your heart, not from your mind.
Author Sideburns Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 I do not feel as though I have been or am currently speaking abnormally. With that being said if that's your attitude, frankly, I do not want your advice.
letters Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Hey, I wasn't giving this guy a compliment. He needs to speak normal, because right now he is coming off extremely pretentious. You aren't writing a novel, you're talking about how your ex f'd you over. Talk normal so I can discern what advice to give. Right now my advice is cut the pretentious poetry and speak from your heart, not from your mind. Ha ha, I still like his writing. I'm presently reading Fyodor Doetoevsky, and Sideburns' writing reminds me of it... kinda 18th centuryish... I wish I had an advice for you, but in a split second I forgot what you said already... I'm still lost in your display of literary prowess... ah... DSM-IV, don't be so mad, we have to release tension somehow... be it cacklin with a mic like Britney Spears, or writing in such classic form...we gotta live. Again Sideburns, I hope you heal soon
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 True letters. Maybe I have been too harsh. I just feel that when people type like that, they're compensating for something or hiding something. In this forum, the only way to heal is to unabashedly put yourself on the line for help. It just looks like he's putting up a front when he talks like that, and so it's very difficult to reach him and help him. That's me anyways.
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