TheRock Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 My GF of 3 years is controlled by her father and grandmother. THEY make the rules for the family. She's 32 and still lives at home in a very tumultuous relationship with the family. They verbally abuse her and threaten her that if she doesn't comply with "The Rules" then she doesn't love her family. They even are able to talk her out of moving out through using guilt trips. They've taken away her self-esteem. I've witnessed it and they are VERY convincing!! ANYWAY, it's Christmas. I'm not allowed at her family's dinner, because we're "not engaged or married". So, I may not see her on Christmas AT ALL! She's having dinner at her mom & dad's then going for dessert at her bro's house. I'm not allowed at either. She offered to come over for an hour to exchange gifts in between, but I said no. After 3 years, I want to see her for more than an hour to give gifts, then leave! I want her to stay over, but even that is a problem. If she won't come over after her bro's (about 10pm) should I say forget exchanging gifts, afterall, what's the point of exchanging gifts if she's not acting like a GF? I'm really hating her father!! What do I do? I don't want to spend another Christmas without my GF with me. She's tried to explain it to her dad, but he won't budge. They just had another blow out about it the other night. What do I do????
Island Girl Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Really it is up to your girlfriend to make your relationship a priority. There is no way you can do that for her. If she is 32 and still at this point, well, it doesn't look good. There are 3 things you can do: 1. Keep putting up with it until she makes a move (could be waiting awhile) or her parents and brother move without her or pass away. 2. Break it off and move on. 3. Propose. You did say they'd welcome you if you were engaged. In any event it is in no way a normal relationship that a 32 year old woman would have. I can't imagine witnessing that kind of degradation toward someone you care for. That has got to be really difficult. Just try to remember you can't help someone who is unwilling to help themselves. I hope you do have a safe and happy holiday. Happy as possible. My husband and I are separated this Christmas too. This makes 7 in a row so believe me I know how you feel. Good luck to you.
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