wtf

[hose406]

hey guys, long time lurker first time poster. im in a ltr and got the dread space question, but there are some things that have gotten me quite confused.

 

 

a little backround info.

 

 

both 23 years old, been dating for almost a year. have meet each others family and been on many family outings, everyones happy. theres plenty of sex, great relationship, fun dates etc. heres where it gets a little dicey, she works and lives with her parents, her mom recently quit her job and is now going to work with her dad at his trucking company which now makes them all under the same roof all of the time. She als works at a salon, but doesnt have enough clientel to make any money. basically she works mon and tuesday for prtents, and theat pays booth rent for thurs- sat at the salon, so shes frustrated with where her lifes at right now to say the least.

 

 

now on to the next problem, she has celiac disease, for those who dont know what that is, when ever she injest wheat dairy or gluten in the smallest bit it is like posion to her. think of food poision to us, bt for 5 to 6 WEEKS!

 

now onto the problems,

 

she has been sick for the last month or so because of accidently injesting the gluten which mean we dont do much because she so sick. little arguements pop up here and there, but i attribute it to beig sick all the time. fast forward a few weeks, she starting to feel better, i take here and her friends to a club for a bday party( i knowits kind afc, but id rather not have her drunk ass friends get in a wreck so i drove, went to another club with my friends) next morning shes sick again, end up taking her to the er because she isnt looking so hot, find out she got strep throat from another girl at the salon who had it. meanwhile in he hospital, telling me i love you, your the best thing thats ever happened to me etc.

 

fast forward 4 days and i get the "i need my space"

 

after the space talk, she is still

 

1) contacting me, i dont NOT contact her first, and am keeping things casual

2) kept pictures of us on her myspace, even tho we both changed status to single( she said she did cuz i did)

3) took me out to dinner and stressd that she is going thru tough times and just needs to figure things out. that she still loves me and doesnt want to lose me, just she cant be in a realtionship now because she is burnt out from everything else. she told me she wont see other people, and would apprreciate it if i didnt either.

4) celiacs are proven to have mood swings

 

 

 

my question is wtf do i do. do i stay or do i go, shes giving me the vibe that she really cars for me, and really truly does want to make things work, but sometimes it feels like im being lead on. it still feels like we are dating, but that might be because its only been about a week. I understand the crisises that shes going thru. she knows i want to be her bf and not just her friend, but what should i do?

 

 

 

 

well here its been a month almost since we broke up, she still contacts me everyday, and still doesnt know what she wants. ive tried going out on other dates, but i didnt really want to be there at all... the whole time i couldnt stop thinking about the ex. i am still open to getting back together with her, but i want to keep my sanity, is there any way to stay in good graces with out blowing up the bridge? its hard for me when she asks me if im seeing anyone, and tells me she isnt, or she gets curious when she hasnt heard from me, and she wonders who im with or what im doing... she still says she doesnt know what she wants, is confused, still loves me and isnt over me, and i feel like im beating a dead horse... its like if you wanted to break up why in the hell are you still talking to me? any tips on getting over someone besides getting someone new? im at my wits end here

[Knight_Ctrl]

hhmmmmmm.............interesting. Normally I would say continue giving her space, but after a month I would think that she would have at least some kind of idea about if she wants to be with you or not. You sound like you've been really supportive and I don't know why she wouldn't want to be with you. Is there another guy involved perhaps? Is her family trying to keep you apart for some reason?

[hose406]

Nope,her whole entire family loved me, bought my christmas gifts and everything. As far as there being another guy I doubt it. Her last bf cheated on her repeatdly, so I don't think she would cheat on me. I took three months of us dating to become offical, I'm wondering if she was having commitment issues, ie taking things to the next level, I just think she is confused, but her confusion is making me more confused.

[hose406]

sorry to bump, but its driving me crazy!

[hose406]

well shes still contacting me, i have myspaced her friend to congratulate her on her engagement, and her friend told me she was sorry we didnt work out and was sad to hear that we broke up. it pisses me off that her friends know its over and done with, but yet she still has yet to tell me that it is. she still contacts me, and the longest shes went without has been 3 days. i dont understand why we broke up, but its like if you dont want me, why the elf would you still keep contacting me. ive tried to move on, but its hard when she keeps initiating contact with me. How do i start going nc, what are some of the things i can expect going nc, how should i handle text messages and what not? will there be diffrent stages, like appology, anger, confusion etc? help a brotha out!

[peacebyinches]

You can ask her not to contact you because you need time to get over the relationship. Then tell her afterwards you can be friends. If she says ok, its over. If she says wait, lets try to work it out then it's not. Im in a very similar situation. We still talk. I went through sad, anger, acceptance, depression, anger, acceptance, and dont know where I'll be tomorrow. She still calls me. Called me this morning as soon as she wakes up this morning. Only thing in my story is she still wants to sleep with me. Only reason I won't go NC. I'm addicted to our sex. It's pretty exotic and freaky probably why she still wants to do it. Hard to replicate with someone else.

 

She isn't coming back to me though. Eventually she will find someone new. Good luck dude. If she's telling people its over then its over.

[Phateless]

You need to call her out on her BS! She's stringing you along which is not fair. Tell her: "I've been waiting patiently for a month. I have been keeping my life on hold for you. I love you but I need an answer because I deserve to be happy too. Are you in or out?"

 

Be prepared to walk away. The second she thinks she might really lose you she will cling to you.

[hose406]

Im not quite sure as to what she has told her friends, i just figured that when her friend sad she was sad to hear we didnt work out, that she mustve told all her friends its over and done with, the part that i dont understand is if she broke up, then why would she keep talking to me, i kinda get the stringing along stuff, but if the relationship was so bad that she had to break up, why wouldnt she leave me alone?

 

she posted a bulletin on myspace, three of the questions were

 

hows your heart? sensitive

do you have feelings for anyone? thats a sensative area

do you get over people easily? i dont think i truely ever get over anyone, the pain just numbs itself over time

 

i know shes talking about me but its like why, you dont want me anymore, why keep talking about it you made your bed, now sleep in it. its really starting to get old. i feel like im standing at the end of the high dive... should i jump or not?

[Phateless]

Call her out and ask her if she wants to be with you. I know you'll fight for her if she's into it too. Does she want to be with you? It's a yes or no question. If the answer isn't yes, walk away.

 

There are 7 Billion people on the planet. Half of them are women.

[peacebyinches]

 

There are 7 Billion people on the planet. Half of them are women.

More than half. They outnumber us. THANK GOD!!!