How do you know when you're livin it right?

[LovieDove24]

I am mostly content with myself. Somedays I am happier than others. And I am taking quite a few steps to ensure my mental health like attending local Alanon meetings and setting up appointments through the EAP at my work. As a little background my parents were both terrible alcoholics and my childhood set me up to 'fail' as opposed to succeed. A little daunting, but it is my mission to succeed.

 

Anyways, I am at a stage in my mental recovery where I KNOW all of my problems, I am no longer in denial and I can see them clearly BUT I havent the tools to fix them. Its like I'm constantly staring at a nail that needs to go in a wall but there is no hammer in sight, if that makes any sense.

 

This is why I'm always second guessing what I'm doing. I'm trying to 're-train' some very bad learned behavior from my childhood. Since I was never shown the 'right' way to do things, how do I know when I really am doing it 'right?'

[Ronni_W]

I can totally relate...a million therapy hours, 6 million self-help books, workshops and seminars...and counting!

 

For myself, "right" has just become what helps me to feel good about what I'm doing for myself and others.

 

I know my boundaries (dislikes & preferences), I communicate my wants, needs and opinions positively (for the most part), I detach myself from other people's outcomes, I get out of situations that consistently make me feel crappy (after doing what I consider to be "enough" to improve it.)

I try to be understanding, tolerant and accepting -- but I ain't no namby-pamby, passive doormat, either.

 

That is me, doing it "right" as far as I'm concerned. And whoever don't like it can kiss...me under the mistletoe