OCCDAVE Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Well it's been a month and i think a week so far since i've seen my ex who dumped me.We dated a 2 and half years and she was my first love.I am still having a hard time getting her out of my head cause i wont lie i still miss her and the time we shared.I am also angry and hurt that in less then a week she had a new guy around her arms.I am left with maybe she knew him all along and was getting ready to make a move or maybe she just moves on that fast ?I am still crying here and there but feel stupid cause i know i am not even crossing her mind.I guess i just dont understand how in a span of a day we talked about popping the question and you want a future with me to stay out of my life for good .I have talked to a few girls since but my ex is always on the back of my mind sigh.Sorry i am upset cause its Christmas eve and unlike last year i wont be spending it with the person i thought wanted to spend her life with me and lead me to believe she would never hurt me.
LiveandLearn Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I won't lie; it'll be tough. Especially around the holidays. But you'll get through it. You'll survive this. A month is not long. It's perfectly normal to still think of your Ex. You'll probably never completely get her out of your mind. You can't forget the past like it never happened, but you can learn from it. Your past is what helps shape you into who you will become. As long as you learn from it, you'll always be one step ahead. Life is all about learning Just keep looking forward. Stay positive. Don't let this stop you from living a good life.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 I won't lie; it'll be tough. Especially around the holidays. But you'll get through it. You'll survive this. A month is not long. It's perfectly normal to still think of your Ex. You'll probably never completely get her out of your mind. You can't forget the past like it never happened, but you can learn from it. Your past is what helps shape you into who you will become. As long as you learn from it, you'll always be one step ahead. Life is all about learning Just keep looking forward. Stay positive. Don't let this stop you from living a good life.Thing is she got a replacment so fast and that hurt me bad.Like i mentioned alot of questions left and ill never find out what happened so im left making my own guesses to what happened.Sigh
Peter_pan Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 hmm you deserve some answers. truth is she has made her mind up, you cant and wont change it ( ive been there to ) problem is, people make up **** to suit themselves as it goes along i.e you wont get proper answers untill some months have passed was with her 3 years she found someone in 3 weeks , both each others first ( year later still with him ) it was only the other day i got to see her and have it out! try and be happy mate. i know its hard, ive been there before for a long time, dwelling isnt going to help you probably know that, and you wont stop untill you have had your say in it and you know for sure there is 0 chance for reconciliation but yeh it could and probably will take you a long time to fully get over her. sorry dude
TeaAbraham Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 They all get replacements so fast. A lot of the time already have them while they're in the relationship and that's why they don't feel bad calling it off. That is what really pisses me off the most. I'll tell you what happened right now. She's not the person she thought she was and she's not worth your time. I wish our ex's malice didn't have to affect us, but it does because we loved them, and wanted to be with them forever.
EmperorR Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 hmm you deserve some answers. truth is she has made her mind up, you cant and wont change it ( ive been there to ) problem is, people make up **** to suit themselves as it goes along i.e you wont get proper answers untill some months have passed was with her 3 years she found someone in 3 weeks , both each others first ( year later still with him ) it was only the other day i got to see her and have it out! try and be happy mate. i know its hard, ive been there before for a long time, dwelling isnt going to help you probably know that, and you wont stop untill you have had your say in it and you know for sure there is 0 chance for reconciliation but yeh it could and probably will take you a long time to fully get over her. sorry dude yep they all do it, ex cheated on me dumped me a week later with a new guy not the one she cheated on me with, basically the first guy who talked to her after our breakup, i don't know if there still together but knowing my luck they probably are and will get married:laugh:
TeaAbraham Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Mm, one more thing Someone on this forums said this, which I thought was pretty helpful: "I like to think to myself: 'You thought you'd be the lucky one, huh? You thought you'd be the lucky one who didn't have to experience this pain. Everybody goes through this pain in a lifetime. You thought you could take the easy way out?" Point is it happens to almost everyone. She was my first love too. She would always tell me what it would be like when we were old together. Make me promise to never leave her side. Unfortunately I guess you have to take everything in the moment. Once the moment's past it doesn't matter anymore. They're not worth it, but it's so painful to realize that i don't know if there still together but knowing my luck they probably are and will get marriedMan sometimes I think about my ex and my former best friend in like 10 years. Married and with kids. Where I was supposed to be. Where she always wanted me to be. So very painful. I guess she's his problem now...
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 Sigh thing is also she has 2 kids who I took under my care and never once complained.its just tough knowing the first day u met her u got these butterflies in ur gut and felt this was the one.like I mentioned I had chances to sleep with a few girls but turned them down not this one though cause it just felt so different.heck the boy I wasn't around as long as the dad but the girl I saw her more then the dad and I bragged they are my kids and they would call me daddy.its just tough now word of mouth she's all head over heals for this new guy ugh.she also use to love sports,play video games and so on its tough finding a gf who can even tolerate that stuff.
MWH Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I know exactly how you're feeling. I've been there and in fact I am still there in many ways. I've come to a conclusion: The type of person that will cheat or jump immediately into another relationship is NOT the type of person who will give you any sense of closure. To talk to them simply gives them yet another opportunity to hurt you by adding to your confusion, adding to your list of "whys", and in the end will only leave you feeling worse. We have ALL of the answers within ourself if we are willing to do some hard core soul-searchng and are rigorously honest with ourselves. In the end, if we are honest, we will own our shortcomings and focus on becoming better people. That, in and of itself, will bring about a sense of comfort and closure. There is, I believe, one place we will NEVER find any answers and subsequent peace: Them. So many times I looked to the source of my pain for my answers and healing. In the end it only added to my pain and caused me many setbacks. Hang in there and give yourself some time. I hope you begin healing and start to feel better right away. Peace, MWH
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 26, 2008 Author Posted December 26, 2008 I guess like i said i just want some closure but owell.Then again like you said someone who is that fast to drop you and replace you then thats not someone you wanna be with.I just got mad cause if this guy was in the backround all along then who knows how long i was looking like a fool.Heck this whole relationship might as well been a shame. btw i still need to get my stuff at her house so im waiting to get someone to get it for me.I could go but seeing her would disgust me so i dont wanna see her face.
MWH Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 btw i still need to get my stuff at her house so im waiting to get someone to get it for me.I could go but seeing her would disgust me so i dont wanna see her face. Good call here! In the past I used to jump at the chance to return her stuff or get mine back. So I could have the opportunity to beg her to take me back for more abuse. What can I say? I got caught up in her madess. Ugh! This time? I've packed her things up neatly and put them away. Maybe I'll ship it to her by UPS or something. At this point I'm not at all concerned. Usually she would tell me to throw her stuff away when we split up. I'll donate it to charity before I'd do that. The point, which I am often prone to losing, is that it is probably best to not fuss too much over it and if you must retrieve you stuff to play it safe. Very safe. Bravo on the sound judgement! Peace, MWH
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 26, 2008 Author Posted December 26, 2008 Good call here! In the past I used to jump at the chance to return her stuff or get mine back. So I could have the opportunity to beg her to take me back for more abuse. What can I say? I got caught up in her madess. Ugh! This time? I've packed her things up neatly and put them away. Maybe I'll ship it to her by UPS or something. At this point I'm not at all concerned. Usually she would tell me to throw her stuff away when we split up. I'll donate it to charity before I'd do that. The point, which I am often prone to losing, is that it is probably best to not fuss too much over it and if you must retrieve you stuff to play it safe. Very safe. Bravo on the sound judgement! Peace, MWHI would do the same to heck i may even just get my stuff a few things at a time just as an excuse to see her and see if her mind has changed.I still remember the day clearly it was nov 18 or 20th (i wrote it down somewhere)anyway i talked to her and expressed how i felt once again more begging ugh .She stood there with a smile on her face which annoyed me almost looking like the grinch.She told me shes gonna take a break from dating cause its to soon (i busted her at the mall all over some dude about a week and half later lol too soon huh ugh.I fed her some bs that i was seeing someone and she said dont settle on anyone ugh.I gave her a hug and she kissed me on the cheek (i call it the kiss of death lol)I should have ended it there then dumb me stopped her from going inside and asked do you love me and she said no and slammed the door.sigh Owell since that day i havn't seen her face which i know she must not care but it must bother her that i didnt continue to beg.
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