Knight_Ctrl Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I finally realized that everything my ex did to me was really really messed up and backstabbing. But I feel horrible knowing that the last time we talked I was bawling and begging and all that stuff I shouldn't do. I really want to call her and just tell her exactly how ****ed up everything was that she did to me and just tell her off fully.....but at the same time......I'd feel horrible still....god dammit guys. I'm so lost.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Listen. This will shed some light. When I broke up with my first love, who did f'd up things to me, like yours did you, I ripped her apart. And I don't mean the normal average joe rip apart. I mean I scarred her mentally, because I wielded my psychology to inflict MAJOR blows to her. It messed her up mentally moreso than she already was. I belittled her so bad for her f'd up actions... and while my actions may have VERY well been justified in the eyes of many, it still has caused me turmoil deep down knowing that I said what I said. The point of me telling you this is so that you don't repeat my mistakes. Sure, your ex deserves to be ripped apart just like I did to mine. But that's not the right thing. You will come to regret it months from now if you did. Trust me. It doesn't matter how justified it is; it will still burn you deep down. It's not worth it, even though she deserves it. It's just not. But it still makes a part of me smile, because I got some revenge after being so kind and loyal to her for so long in vain. But still. Don't make my mistake.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 eeeeeerrrrrr dammit DSM....and I'm really likely tempted to actually listen to you this time, because the last time I didn't it ended up bad....I'm gonna go sleep on it.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Trust me my friend. It'll feel GREAT today. And tomorrow. And maybe a week from now or even a month. But a few months from now, you'll remember you were cruel. And that will hurt you, because you are healed (at that point), so it'll make you wonder why you ever did it. And it will lead you to want to apologize. Nasty chain. Trust me and these people when they say just do NC lol.
SQL Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 I agree with DSM, you realized what she has done. Why do the same thing to her? Imagine how much it's hurting. Doing the same thing will make you no better than what she has done to you. I have been with my girl for 4 years...and done everything for her sake..in the end? she gave me a cold shoulder..when she's the one who wanted to come this far..and in the end told me she can't with some bs reason. I'm not doing anything..just letting it be...even tho I'm in so much pain. I know, what goes around comes around. She will feel it someday and it will be too late for anything than.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 just touching back. I waited almost a full day since I first thought I wanted to tell her off. DSM is right even if it felt great now it would hurt later on. And I know for a fact I'd be as manly as can be right up until I heard her voice and I would lose it, cry and feel horrible all over again simply from talking to her....NC I guess means just that....NC. Thanks for helping me dodge this bullet.
againstallodds Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 The best revenge is work on yourself and better yourself. One day when your ex hear about you I don't know how but she will, words do get around. She'll regret what she did to you. Regret is what kill them. My ex did.
EmperorR Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 yep the best revenge is a happy life, do what I do whenever I feel anger bitterness I jsut write a email save as a draft and that's it.
Goatsbreath Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 been there done that and now as you sit here regretting your bawling and begging, next week - if you did tear into her, you would be regretting your angry outburst. Don't do it. I have gone NC now and wish I would of done it a lot sooner. I ended up writing a note and apologized for my jealousy and anger and told her how I feel about her and that it was a misfocused attempt to save our relationship. I wished her the best and told her I would respect her choice to seperate. I know deep down Im still holding hopes hand but on the surface Im trying to let go.
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