Attention whores

[Ross PK]

Great. Congratulations on taking that step.

 

You've mentioned that even women you consider unattractive don't show interest in you. The obvious answer there is, don't attempt to chat up women you aren't attracted to. Frightening as it might be to head straight for the ones you're most attracted to, the reality is that they probably won't be any more unkind in their responses than the women you find less attractive. In fact, they might well be nicer to you. Especially as they'll detect that your interest is genuine rather than stemming from "anything will do" desperation.

 

To the topic....I think most people find positive attention from attractive members of the opposite sex fun. Why wouldn't people seek that kind of attention out? The fact that someone is flirtatious doesn't mean they're holding out for nothing less than the perfect partner.

 

I did actually genuinley find those girls with below average looks attractive physically.

[Dexter Morgan]

In that case he is not perfect FOR HER.

 

 

 

 

Look, it is fairly simple.. if you are ok with being alone.. then WHY settle for something you don't want?

 

But you don't strike me as the kind of person that has an entitlement attitude thinking men should bow at your alter. You strike me as the kind of person that gives in a relationship what she expects in return.

 

And you also don't seem to be so picky as to realize that the people you are dating will also have their standards.

 

 

 

I prefer to date and see the many menu options in order to find the best cut if meat.

 

but sometimes that best cut of meat comes at too high of a price and you may not be willing to pay it.

[TwilightSky]

Exactly! This is the healthy attitude. Besides when did men become so much more interested in marriage than women? It seems it wasn't too long ago that the majority of men were looking to get laid and run from the responsibilities of marriage. Men wanted women to stop pressuring them toward matrimony. Now (at least it seems from LS) guys are complaining that women are screwing them and not wanting marriage. Who ever heard of such?! Are gender roles changing? I would think you men would be turning cartwheels at the thought.

 

Still, why is the OP complaining so much. There are plenty of women to go around. Again, lower your standards and you will find a woman who will not settle for you but will think you are her "prince". Why are you getting upset because goodlooking women want this or want that. Goodlooking men want the same thing. Did Tiger Woods settle when he married his wife (without a college degree)? Did Kobe Bryant settle when he married his wife (right out of high school)? Did George Bush, Sr. settle when he married Barbara Bush (without a college degree)?

 

I don't know if he should "lower his standards" as much as he should work on himself to attain what he desires. I've seen enough attractive girls with ugly guys (and good looking guys with ugly girls) to know that the OP probably could get a good looking girl, if he put enough effort into it, whether it's working on his personality, financial status, education, etc.

 

I won't lie, I know women are just as shallow as guys, and this isn't judgemental, it just is. Im just glad I was born with an attractive face, and a good height but that only carries you so far. The only thing stopping someone from achieving their *general* desires, is their lack of ambition, mainly.

 

Small tip: no matter how much you like a girl, NEVER come across as needy. God, they hate that (I've seen other dudes do it, and read about this as well).

[stillafool]

So when it comes to us guys that women seem to want to flock to when its all said and done, WE can then be very picky ourselves:cool:

 

 

They won't flock to you good guys who they once rejected. You'll already be married to someone else. Thus, the search continues.

[V.Vixen]

But you don't strike me as the kind of person that has an entitlement attitude thinking men should bow at your alter. You strike me as the kind of person that gives in a relationship what she expects in return.

 

And you also don't seem to be so picky as to realize that the people you are dating will also have their standards.

 

 

 

 

 

but sometimes that best cut of meat comes at too high of a price and you may not be willing to pay it.

 

The only thing I feel entitled to is happiness.

 

Clearly I meant the best cut of meat that I can afford. Sometimes filet mignon is a little much for such a small piece of beef. Sometimes, for fun, I have a burger from McDonald's, I know it's not gourmet, but it's FUN... the lowest grade of meat, but still somehow very enjoyable. I couldn't live on that forever though...catch my drift?

[stillafool]

I don't know if he should "lower his standards" as much as he should work on himself to attain what he desires. I've seen enough attractive girls with ugly guys (and good looking guys with ugly girls) to know that the OP probably could get a good looking girl, if he put enough effort into it, whether it's working on his personality, financial status, education, etc.

 

The reason I say lower his standards is because he seems to insecure to date good looking women. I see good looking people with not so attractive people also. But, those 'not so attractive' people in my eyes obviously have the confidence to land a good looking person. Besides, just because someone doesn't look attractive to me doesn't mean they aren't "hot" in the eyes of their lover. I bet there is nothing wrong with OP's personality, financial status or educational background right now that would prevent him from dating. Also if he is only interested in dating the best looking women isn't he as guilty as the women he is complaining about?

 

I won't lie, I know women are just as shallow as guys, and this isn't judgemental, it just is. Im just glad I was born with an attractive face, and a good height but that only carries you so far. The only thing stopping someone from achieving their *general* desires, is their lack of ambition, mainly.

 

Men have always desired the best looking and smartest women. Why is it so wrong now that women desire the same.

[TwilightSky]

Men have always desired the best looking and smartest women. Why is it so wrong now that women desire the same.

 

Oh, I don't know if men want the "smartest" women, that would mean we can't get by with stuff, they'd always be one step ahead of us

 

And, like I said, wasn't trying to be judgemental. Nothing wrong with women liking good looking guys. I was just saying the level of shallowness is about equal for both genders.

 

Also, if the OP seems too insecure to date the attractive girls, perhaps he should work on his inner security first? I dunno, I've yet to get to sleep so this might not be coherent lol!

[Bells]

Great. Congratulations on taking that step.

 

You've mentioned that even women you consider unattractive don't show interest in you. The obvious answer there is, don't attempt to chat up women you aren't attracted to. Frightening as it might be to head straight for the ones you're most attracted to, the reality is that they probably won't be any more unkind in their responses than the women you find less attractive. In fact, they might well be nicer to you. Especially as they'll detect that your interest is genuine rather than stemming from "anything will do" desperation.

 

To the topic....I think most people find positive attention from attractive members of the opposite sex fun. Why wouldn't people seek that kind of attention out? The fact that someone is flirtatious doesn't mean they're holding out for nothing less than the perfect partner.

 

The thing is here.....I'm one of of those rare single guy where it doesn't take MUCH for me to be physically attracted to a woman

 

I have emailed rather average/plain women, only to get ignored or say, "Sorry, we're not match", when obviously we are.

 

What's funny is her profile would go on about the same values, moral fortitude, and interest pretty much match mines...and what's funny, they don't find me as a match. Because they can't find Mr. GQ of the same interest and the like.

 

There's some women that you can't write home about when it comes to looks, because they are average looking.

[Bells]

Men have always desired the best looking and smartest women. Why is it so wrong now that women desire the same.

 

Actually, I find BOTH women AND men can be faulted for unrealistic expectations.

 

It's getting tiresome seeing these ol' "Yeah, yeah well MEN DO IT TOO!"

 

Who gives a crap? That's not the point of the post...I am aware men "Do it too", and they are just as unrealistic as the women are.

 

What do you want us to do, with every post we make about a gender we must add, "Men/women do it too!" at the end of each post?

 

THis should go without saying when I post like this made...it's like one gender gets offended if you don't mention that the "Other gender does this too!"

[Dexter Morgan]

They won't flock to you good guys who they once rejected.

 

Nor would I expect that. But I have turned down one woman because I know the type of guy she usually goes for. She was attractive as hell, but the fact she went after "bad boys" turned me off completely. Wasn't interested.

[Dexter Morgan]

The only thing I feel entitled to is happiness.

 

Clearly I meant the best cut of meat that I can afford.

 

LOL, I hear ya.

 

 

Sometimes filet mignon is a little much for such a small piece of beef.

 

 

But thats not what I meant. For example, if the best cut of meat would be the best looking guy or a really hot guy(again for example), be careful what comes with that. Not saying us good looking guys:o are going to dog you, but it comes with the territory for most.

[V.Vixen]

LOL, I hear ya.

 

 

 

 

 

But thats not what I meant. For example, if the best cut of meat would be the best looking guy or a really hot guy(again for example), be careful what comes with that. Not saying us good looking guys:o are going to dog you, but it comes with the territory for most.

 

In my analogy, the best cut of meat means that it's what I like the best. So not only does it LOOK good, but it tastes good, smells good, is cooked just right and satisfies my hunger the best.

 

 

 

Ok, really, now I am hungry for some kind of beef! haha No more food analogies from me.

[Bells]

LOL, I hear ya.

 

 

 

 

 

But thats not what I meant. For example, if the best cut of meat would be the best looking guy or a really hot guy(again for example), be careful what comes with that. Not saying us good looking guys:o are going to dog you, but it comes with the territory for most.

 

Yeah, I heard on the radio, some research stated that the "Average" looking guy made better marriage material than the gorgeous hunks.

 

Seems like being VERY good looking comes with a downside....good looking people don't need to treat you nice, because well.....they don't have to.

 

There was this guy who dated a "door girl' at a Gentleman's club.....and she woudl always invite her stripper friends to HIS house and drink every bottle of booze in his liquor cabinet and mess up the place.

 

He finally said something to her...and you know what she said?

 

 

"HEy, hon....you had a choice of NICE or HOT....you chose HOT."

 

Nuff said, eh?

 

He ended that relationship in a heartbeat when she said that....talk about cocky.

[V.Vixen]

Apparantly I suck at this.... lol

 

 

To me, the McD's burger is the hot guy with no substance. Good for a quick fix, but terrible for long term nutrition....

[movingonandon]

Apparantly I suck at this.... lol

 

 

To me, the McD's burger is the hot guy with no substance. Good for a quick fix, but terrible for long term nutrition....

 

 

Hummpfrey Bograt is the hottest guy ever. A t-bone steak, if you will. (Jimmy Stewart is a close second).

 

The point being is that the right kind of hot for guys is just being annatomically correct, everything else is in the eyes, the swagger, the grunting, and - if we stay true to the original - in the painful 5 o'clock shadow.

 

The brad pitt kid of hotness is revolting. And no, i'm not jealous . My leather jacket is cooler than his, and I bet I could kick his azz in fight club. Speaking of whish, I think that Ed Norton is waaaaaay hotter than Pitt.

 

Anyway, now, the same definition of hotness applies to women. Shocking, I know. But, every girl that's not disfigured by too much fatness or unfortunate facial features is hot enough. The smile, the eyes etc. comprise a big part of what's attractive. But, obviously the way these body parts "look" is to a great extent affected by the underlying personality/character. so no, personality can't easily compensate for unfortunate looks, but it certainly can make average looks *irresistable*.

 

So, Jessica Alba is hott, but I'd run away rather than marry her grouchy azz face. You get the idea.

[Adri Ana]

For every prospective partner out there, there will always be someone better looking, or more in tune to your interests, or have more money etc. If you keep chasing after the "bigger, better deal" you'll just be chasing your own tail. You can justify it by saying "I enjoy being single" or whatever, but when it comes down to it, you'll still want someone to keep you warm at night. Someone to care for, that truly cares for you in return. That's not settling. Not in my book.

 

When I came to this realization on my own terms, I was "ready to settle down" but it came too late in life. It came during a revolution in female attitudes that are glued to the TV with "Sex in the City" and so on. The independent woman that "doesn't need a man in her life".

 

Someday I'll meet someone with some real integrity. Until then I refuse to be another manipulated schmuck strung along by a woman that's "happy to be single".

 

 

 

1-I agree with you .

Mostly .

 

2-Not all are attention whores. But some are - yes.

 

3-Once a guy/girl finds someone matching,they hardly go on seeking .

"Better looking,better laughing,better cooking" is always there ,but that does Not matter .

 

4 - YOur last statement shows you are scared of an Independent Woman . The woman is Independent until you make her Dependent ,dependent on your care,love and positive emotions.

 

 

 

 

__________________________

I myself need No Man in life ,as I can deal all and everything myself too well ,

but I need him who will warm my nights,who will show me care and who will love me ,

while I will stroke him every day and night, caring for him with my entire being ....

But first I need to meet this Independent Guy who will match my Independent Nature ...

To meet,to match and to stay forever.

___________________________

[Star Gazer]

How did you know about me not wanting kids and not wanting to date a women who has kids?

 

Because you've posted about it before. Duh.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1956539&postcount=5

 

I remember reading that... It really stood out to me for some reason.

[V.Vixen]

"Happy being single" should not be misinterpreted as someone who wouldn't be happy having a SO. It's about being happy whatever your situation may be.

 

Settling down with just anyone in order to have a warm body at night is not something I would be happy doing, period.The right guy for me will like me better BECAUSE of that fact. It's not about BIGGER or BETTER, it's about best for ME. My best could be someone else's worst nightmare. Perfection isn't what a lot of these women are seeking, so it isn't unreasonable to keep searching (and ENJOYING being single in the meantime).

 

 

Also, guys who don't like a woman who were/are happy being single shouldn't date those kinds of women, you aren't doing us any favors by dating us.. trust me. There are plenty of codependent needy ones out there for you.

[movingonandon]

 

4 - YOur last statement shows you are scared of an Independent Woman . The woman is Independent until you make her Dependent ,dependent on your care,love and positive emotions.

 

__________________________

 

Yeah, that's bul****. Obviously, I can't reply for the guy who wrote that, but since I have sinmilar sentiments, I can assure you that it is not about making the woman dependent. If anything, that's a turnoff. In deed, i am concerned that my current girlfriend seems to be going to school just to have somesort of job rather than be serious about her career could emerge as a big obstacle later on.

 

Anyway, there is a perpetual confusion between "independent women" and "entitled bitches". Many of the former can be the latter, but the latter are never the former. They can call themselves whatever they want, but I bet 100 of bucks that this is the type of attitude that prompted the OPs rant. And the stereotypes peddled in "Sex and the City" are all in the latter category. I'd rather cut my dick off rather than be with any of the women depicted there, and no, that's not because they're "independent."

 

Finally, very few women realise that one of the surest ways to bag a guy is to be modest and shy. The trophy wives and the southern belles have mastered this skill. I don't understand the bad rap they're getting. All that they've done is to understand that men look for a woman to give them sense of stability at home, not drama caused by an entitled child that will be throwing temper tantrums the second she experiences the vague feeling she ain't getting what she is "deserving".

 

So it's not about dependency, it's about taking care of each other's needs. Today women can get away with not taking care of their partner's needs (at least until the time they hit 40), and that's the part men resent. Not their "independence".

[V.Vixen]

I rarely turn down a date based on outward appearances, unless there is no attraction whatsoever.. so there are no entitlement issues here. I don't think all women who are able to enjoy dating/being single have a sense of entitlement.

 

If I found that man that filled my desires right now, I would look no further. In the meantime I am not going to complain... because, welll, life isn't that bad with lil ol' me.

[Adri Ana]

Yeah, that's bul****. Obviously, I can't reply for the guy who wrote that, but since I have sinmilar sentiments, I can assure you that it is not about making the woman dependent. If anything, that's a turnoff. In deed, i am concerned that my current girlfriend seems to be going to school just to have somesort of job rather than be serious about her career could emerge as a big obstacle later on.

 

Anyway, there is a perpetual confusion between "independent women" and "entitled bitches". Many of the former can be the latter, but the latter are never the former. They can call themselves whatever they want, but I bet 100 of bucks that this is the type of attitude that prompted the OPs rant. And the stereotypes peddled in "Sex and the City" are all in the latter category. I'd rather cut my dick off rather than be with any of the women depicted there, and no, that's not because they're "independent."

 

Finally, very few women realise that one of the surest ways to bag a guy is to be modest and shy. The trophy wives and the southern belles have mastered this skill. I don't understand the bad rap they're getting. All that they've done is to understand that men look for a woman to give them sense of stability at home, not drama caused by an entitled child that will be throwing temper tantrums the second she experiences the vague feeling she ain't getting what she is "deserving".

 

So it's not about dependency, it's about taking care of each other's needs. Today women can get away with not taking care of their partner's needs (at least until the time they hit 40), and that's the part men resent. Not their "independence".

 

 

 

_________________________________________________

Per me a Real Woman must BE (!) an entitled BITCH (yes!) Independent Woman outside

(not a bitch prostitute I mean,u got me,

and she has to have that charm which attracts people to her and not distracts)

and

a sweet caring partner at home ,such a kitty katty .

 

 

What IS wrong in this ?

[torranceshipman]

If a woman is happy and independent and confident, she'll happily date until she eventually meets the right guy - if she is a great catch she'll have the sensible foresight to NEVER settle as that'd likely lead to misery on one or both sides of the M later on, which is infintely made worse if kids come into the picture - why not avoid all that in the first place, and refuse to settle?

 

NO woman should ever settle and it is a real insult to say 'Mr Good Enough' is what we should all be shooting for. How ridiculous,

[Adri Ana]

If a woman is happy and independent and confident, she'll happily date until she eventually meets the right guy - if she is a great catch she'll have the sensible foresight to NEVER settle as that'd likely lead to misery on one or both sides of the M later on, which is infintely made worse if kids come into the picture - why not avoid all that in the first place, and refuse to settle?

 

NO woman should ever settle and it is a real insult to say 'Mr Good Enough' is what we should all be shooting for. How ridiculous,

 

 

This All u told is just a vision ..

I have known many women who just play this role so well ,that all guys ,even women around would think like your post says ..

 

"to never settle",so on ..

 

No. Every such woman wants to settle,even complains ,but she never shows , I have many examples around . Any woman is really happy when she makes her own nest. Believe me or not - its your business, but I know for sure.

[movingonandon]

Any woman is really happy when she makes her own nest. Believe me or not - its your business, but I know for sure.

 

and then there are those that really thrive on drama and crisis in their lives. i know from experience.

[Ross PK]

Because you've posted about it before. Duh.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1956539&postcount=5

 

I remember reading that... It really stood out to me for some reason.

 

Oh yeah, lol.