Joyvke Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Perhaps it's not the looks, but more the attitude you have. You don't seem to think highly of yourself .
Ross PK Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Perhaps it's not the looks, but more the attitude you have. You don't seem to think highly of yourself . Nope. I'm telling it like it is. There's been plenty of times where I've thought, I look so great, only to be treated like an ugly ****, or even told that I'm an ugly ****.
Joyvke Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Meh, ok that sucks . If I'd live in the Uk, I'd go down and have a drink with you! You sound like a nice guy imo. .
Ross PK Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 Thanks. But I bet you'd think different if you actually met me.
Joyvke Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 I'm not a shallow person, so I doubt it honestly . If you're the same as you are here I doubt you would be disliked by me.
LazyLibra Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 What I dislike is girls who take horrible care of themselves( Over weight, Poorly dressed, too much makeup) who take being hit on by drunk guys seriously and end up with a false sense of value. Take it from a guy, Sometimes we just want to get laid and the less fortunate girls are too easy.
annieo Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 What I dislike is girls who take horrible care of themselves( Over weight, Poorly dressed, too much makeup) who take being hit on by drunk guys seriously and end up with a false sense of value. Take it from a guy, Sometimes we just want to get laid and the less fortunate girls are too easy. If you dislike them, why would you sleep with them? I mean, you don't have to love everyone you sleep with, but it's probably best if you like at least one thing about them. Oh, wait a minute, there's that one thing we all have that you like. And there's that one thing about you ... (no, it's not your wallet, but it's close by And any woman who thinks she's hot because she can get laid is an idiot. Almost any woman can get laid if she's not too choosy and makes sure the man is sufficiently drunk. It's not about getting laid, it's about who you get laid with, and if they stick around for seconds and thirds. Or marry you. Finally, rosspk, you look very cute to me. I'd meet you for a drink (except I'm married - so no go). Not all women are bitches, and (here I go again, ranting) but any woman who would tell a man he's ugly is a mean-spirited moron, with no manners or feelings. Do you really want one of them? Keep your eyes open, my son - she's out there.
TwilightSky Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Finally, rosspk, you look very cute to me. I'd meet you for a drink (except I'm married - so no go). Not all women are bitches, and (here I go again, ranting) but any woman who would tell a man he's ugly is a mean-spirited moron, with no manners or feelings. Do you really want one of them? Keep your eyes open, my son - she's out there. Either that, or, that woman isn't too attractive herself I'm betting (to tell a dude he's ugly). I dunno what to say, ross pk. Perhaps these women here can give you better advice.
Star Gazer Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Ross PK - I think your problem is that you (1) don't want kids, and (2) don't want to date someone who already has kids. This will severely limit the pool of women will be interested in dating you.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I'm not a shallow person, so I doubt it honestly . If you're the same as you are here I doubt you would be disliked by me. Thanks, that's nice to hear.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 If you dislike them, why would you sleep with them? I mean, you don't have to love everyone you sleep with, but it's probably best if you like at least one thing about them. Oh, wait a minute, there's that one thing we all have that you like. And there's that one thing about you ... (no, it's not your wallet, but it's close by And any woman who thinks she's hot because she can get laid is an idiot. Almost any woman can get laid if she's not too choosy and makes sure the man is sufficiently drunk. It's not about getting laid, it's about who you get laid with, and if they stick around for seconds and thirds. Or marry you. Finally, rosspk, you look very cute to me. I'd meet you for a drink (except I'm married - so no go). Not all women are bitches, and (here I go again, ranting) but any woman who would tell a man he's ugly is a mean-spirited moron, with no manners or feelings. Do you really want one of them? Keep your eyes open, my son - she's out there. Thanks, annieo. If there is a girl out there for me, I just wish I knew how to find her. Either that, or, that woman isn't too attractive herself I'm betting (to tell a dude he's ugly). I dunno what to say, ross pk. Perhaps these women here can give you better advice. Yup, that's true. Some of the women who have called me ugly aren't that nice looking themselves and could be considered as below average. So getting called ugly and rejected by girls like this, just makes it feel even worse. Ross PK - I think your problem is that you (1) don't want kids, and (2) don't want to date someone who already has kids. This will severely limit the pool of women will be interested in dating you. How did you know about me not wanting kids and not wanting to date a women who has kids? The thing is is that women aren't attracted to me in the first place. But yeah, not wanting kids certainly is going to reduce the number of women I'd be interested in dating.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 If there is a girl out there for me, I just wish I knew how to find her. quote] That's why we're all here hanging out on LS. You're not alone. We're all finding it difficult to find someone, because it is just plain difficult. Everyone looks at their own insecurities for the answer to their singleness. If you are insecure about your looks, then that is why you are alone. If you are insecure about your job or status, then that's why you're alone. And so on. Fact is, it's just hard to find a compatible mate who feels the same way about us. Keep you chin up, Ross, and stay away from those low class girls who call you ugly. I can see who is the ugly one in that scenario, and it ain't you.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Thanks Cherry Blossom. You're right about these girls being ugly on the inside. I'd still have a ONS with them though, but nothing more.
Taramere Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Thanks. But I bet you'd think different if you actually met me. Ross, I know people on LS are being kind right now, but that might be because they don't remember you from before and have had limited exposure to your self pity parties. You know that too, I'm sure. What happens is this: The first reaction is empathy. When empathy elicits more self-pity and self-denigration, it switches over to pity. Other people's pity is best ignored or discouraged. Pity is the last thing you should want from people you barely know (or don't know at all) as it contains hefty dashes of contempt. When you reach that stage where you're attempting to elicit pity from people, congratulations - you've achieved rock bottom. The only way you can go from rock bottom is upwards. Unless of course you decide that rock bottom is cosy enough to inhabit forever. Absolutely people in the real world who aren't very close to you will be mean to you once they detect you attempting to elicit pity. Sometimes that meanness is just a form of the disgust that is sprinkled through pity. People don't like the feeling, so they try to get rid of it by being cruel. Other times it's a kind of tough love method of discouraging people from engaging in behaviour that most people regard as embarrassing in its lowliness. Here on LS there are sometimes rewards for and therefore encouragement of that kind of pity-grubbing, and that's one of the drawbacks of LS. You're an okay looking guy. Lookswise you are equal to - and even superior to (some of) plenty of men who manage to get love and sex. So banish the notion that this is all related to looks and that there's nothing you can do about the absence of women from your life. Attitude, self pity and pity-grubbing from anyone who'll give it seem to be your main problems. Did you try counselling?
V.Vixen Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I am fairly new here, so I don't really know a lot of you well... I CAN tell you that attitude and personality are pretty much everything. Of course, attraction is needed, but if a guy has a dud of a personality or lacks confidence, most self-loving women wouldn't keep him around for longer than she can say 'next!'. Attitude really rules over all.
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I'm not trying to elicit pity. I know that people on here or any forum wont show me pity, and will try to help instead and say that I'll find someone Yeah, I tried councilling and it helped in some ways.
stillafool Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Really, even IF certain women were going about the dating scene the wrong way (I'm not saying they are, just a hypothetical)...why would I care? I have no problem attracting girls, but wouldn't want to get hitched with 90% of them. Looks have nothing to do with it either, a number of hot girls have approached me. As far as a long-term relationship goes, though, I want something a tad more cerebral than just "she's hot!" And I'll keep my eyes perpetually open until that opportunity comes along. While I think the keeping the options open mantra CAN be taken to an extreme, it's everyone's personal choice and not for me to obsess about. As long as I'm happy and the people I care about are the same, why worry? Being somewhat secure in yourself is the key, IMO. Exactly! This is the healthy attitude. Besides when did men become so much more interested in marriage than women? It seems it wasn't too long ago that the majority of men were looking to get laid and run from the responsibilities of marriage. Men wanted women to stop pressuring them toward matrimony. Now (at least it seems from LS) guys are complaining that women are screwing them and not wanting marriage. Who ever heard of such?! Are gender roles changing? I would think you men would be turning cartwheels at the thought. Still, why is the OP complaining so much. There are plenty of women to go around. Again, lower your standards and you will find a woman who will not settle for you but will think you are her "prince". Why are you getting upset because goodlooking women want this or want that. Goodlooking men want the same thing. Did Tiger Woods settle when he married his wife (without a college degree)? Did Kobe Bryant settle when he married his wife (right out of high school)? Did George Bush, Sr. settle when he married Barbara Bush (without a college degree)?
Ross PK Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I am fairly new here, so I don't really know a lot of you well... I CAN tell you that attitude and personality are pretty much everything. Of course, attraction is needed, but if a guy has a dud of a personality or lacks confidence, most self-loving women wouldn't keep him around for longer than she can say 'next!'. Attitude really rules over all. Yeah, wish I was more confident with women and not so shy. Those traits certainly aren't going to be a turn on.
V.Vixen Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Tip for you then... Start working on YOU, stop worrying about women. Work on your confidence for yourself. Do things that interest you. Love yourself. That all will radiate out when it becomes real. Start by befriending some women once you feel better about yourself. Having women as friends will teach you more about interacting with them without the pressure of 'the rules' and worrying about if she likes you romantically. Take baby steps, but make them real steps.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 It's like every woman I meet these days. The more guys they get attention from the better. Meanwhile their standards and expectations become so lofty for anything long term, but hey why worry about long term when there's dozens of guys you can flirt with and no strings attached? The get the validation they want, the sex they want and are holding out for, not Mr. "right" but instead Mr. "perfect". It's getting old fast and I hope there's some other guys that have noticed this trend. Maybe I'm just.. being my neurotic self? Ya, I've noticed the trend. but it doesn't bother me since I don't bother with this type of woman.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 If a woman has TONS of options, why WOULD she settle for anything less than Mr. Perfect For Her?? Because Mr. Perfect may not like what he is getting in the end.
V.Vixen Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Re: the OP... I think it is more of an attitude of: I have dated a lot of men, none have turned out to be what I am looking for, so I am going to have fun in the meantime and hope he comes along. I think a lot of women have gotten their hopes up about men and been burnt (not to say that men haven't), so it is sometimes easier to not expect much in the meantime. I like to have my fun, but if a good guy (not perfect, but perfect for ME) came along, I would gladly give all of my attention to him and forget about the Mr. Rightnows.... Until then I am not standing around waiting for him.
Taramere Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Yeah, I tried councilling and it helped in some ways. Great. Congratulations on taking that step. You've mentioned that even women you consider unattractive don't show interest in you. The obvious answer there is, don't attempt to chat up women you aren't attracted to. Frightening as it might be to head straight for the ones you're most attracted to, the reality is that they probably won't be any more unkind in their responses than the women you find less attractive. In fact, they might well be nicer to you. Especially as they'll detect that your interest is genuine rather than stemming from "anything will do" desperation. To the topic....I think most people find positive attention from attractive members of the opposite sex fun. Why wouldn't people seek that kind of attention out? The fact that someone is flirtatious doesn't mean they're holding out for nothing less than the perfect partner.
V.Vixen Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 Because Mr. Perfect may not like what he is getting in the end. In that case he is not perfect FOR HER. Look, it is fairly simple.. if you are ok with being alone.. then WHY settle for something you don't want? I prefer to date and see the many menu options in order to find the best cut if meat.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 26, 2008 Posted December 26, 2008 I know I wouldn't want to be the guy she "settled" for! Gee, how special! I have pointed this out before in the good old "bad boy" threads. I turned down a woman because of the types of guys she dated. She had had enough of them and all of a sudden NOW was looking for a solid guy that simply didn't think his s##t didn't stink. needless to say I wasn't interested and for the very reason you posted above. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself an attractive guy that works out almost daily. I just am not a partier and don't feel the need to project some alpha male macho persona. So when it comes to us guys that women seem to want to flock to when its all said and done, WE can then be very picky ourselves:cool:
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