fishtaco Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 You misunderstand... They aren't angry at women for having standards, hell they aren't even angry at women. They're angry at society for all the lies they were told about the kind of man they should aspire to be. They're angry at society for telling them that it's 'ok' to just sit back and rely on consumer products to solve their every problem, satisfy their every need... They're angry because they're being punished for doing what society told them to do. They're also angry with themselves for being stupid enough to swallow all that nonsense... but usually they wont take responsiblity for it, so they end up directing their anger at the things they want, but have absolutely no idea how to get... Like women... I agree with this. The men that are angry at women are the ones that are frustrated but haven't found the way out. It starts with taking personal responsibility, and have enough mental fortitude to disbelieve the illusion that's been shown to us since birth, and re-program our minds. It's easier to direct anger at women than to make a change. But it also drives the nails into the coffin. motive2002, women have options, sure. Guess what? so do you. Instead of getting frustrated, why don't you do something about it? If women are multi-dating, why don't you multi-date too? Having lots of options is always a good thing, for both men and for women. Also you can't please everyone. Every heated discussion thread on LS you'll see multiple views, many times none of them are wrong. People that hang on to different views shouldn't date each other. If you multi-date, you'll miss out on some non-multi-date women. If you don't multi-date, you'll start with a clear disadvantage with multi-date women. So take your pick, and do your thing. You can't change the world, you can only change yourself to survive better in it.
audrey_1 Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 It's like every woman I meet these days. The more guys they get attention from the better. Meanwhile their standards and expectations become so lofty for anything long term, but hey why worry about long term when there's dozens of guys you can flirt with and no strings attached? The get the validation they want, the sex they want and are holding out for, not Mr. "right" but instead Mr. "perfect". It's getting old fast and I hope there's some other guys that have noticed this trend. Maybe I'm just.. being my neurotic self? I'm going to respond only after reading the OP, and read the rest after stating my original impression which is... I feel this way about guys right now.
audrey_1 Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 You're generally right, but also mostly wrong. The particular kind of girlies OP is talking about burn through a ton of boyfriends, then wake up at the age of 40 with no real character or relasionship skills to speak of, and urgently marry some poor shmuck (and make his, and their, life miserable). The coolest girls do not use their hotness to surf aimlesly through dating till they're 40, but use their coolness to find and establish a good relationship right now. And that's the origin of the anger of the OP: this type of girl chooses not to work on real relationships, just because they're used to an endless supply of chumps. But, this pipeline dries up once the tits start to sag. Then what? Um, I've been using my hotness and coolness in trying to establish a good relationship with Mr. 5 years ago, Mr. Not-so-long-ago and Mr. Yesterday. Seems THEY are the ones who want to play the field and pass on something stable for something fleeting and superficial.
CBR_pilot Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 There's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to hold out for "Mr. Perfect". However, it's a gamble since she may miss out on many great guys, and then someday find herself feeling like she missed the boat. For you guys, it's often a matter of where you're meeting girls. If you're only source of girls is nightclubs, then you may have a hard time finding a girl that isn't working hard for attention and playing the field. Not to mention the fact that no matter how good looking or rich you may be, there's always going to be some guy that has more. Personally, I like attractive women, but I'm definitely not interested in dating someone that will make me feel like I'm always in competition with the next best thing...
audrey_1 Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Oh, and if you feel someone is using you for attention, cut your losses and move on. Don't feed the attention whores Check. Exactly! And, the sex is so much better and she will want to have sex all the time! Check. My rule of thumb is to be nice to everyone, but to forget them if they don't show the same constant care and concern that I give. Check. I would think he has too many options and move on to someone else. If it kept happening, I would take a break and look at myself and the types of people I am choosing. Then I would lower my standards to someone who isn't in such demand. Lastly, if I were looking for a serious relationship I would say so up front and find out if that is what the other person wants before I got involved. Seems pretty simple to me. Check...except I would RAISE my standards to someone who is in demand, but sees the value in pursuing a monogamous situation, to give you a fair chance before deciding whether to date someone else.
animo Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 But it also drives the nails into the coffin. Which is often a good thing, because a lot of people will NOT take action, will NOT commit to change, will not invest that energy, until they've gone full circle, and hit absolute rock bottom... Until their situation is SO grim, so unbearable that they would almost literally rather die than to continue in it. More often than not, rock bottom is what it takes. You can't change the world, you can only change yourself to survive better in it. Can't change what you can't perceive. It is not possible to perceive the world, reality in it's whole, we are not capable of doing so... well, barring some philosophical guru's or something, not sure I'm convinced of that even... It's just physically impossible. So we make up our own little versions of it, we all have them, everyone. In that frame of reference, you can change the world, you can change 'yours', and changing that world will actually change the world you experience and even the world other people experience. We interact with each other, not based on absolute reality, because we have no awareness of absolute reality. We merely interact based on our own version of these different realities, we let them clash and stream, and whoever controls this little imaginary whirlpool can basically set whatever terms they wish... whatever terms that are within perceivable reality for the person(s) you're interacting with. Practically... You want options? Fine, then believe you have options, and you will. It's not going to come out of thin air like some weird jedi power, but it's going to manifest itself, very simply, in oppertunity that you perceive. Want a date? Well what's wrong with that girl over there by the magazine stand? Nothing? Well great, go for it! Will she like you? Believe it or not, that actually entirely depends on you, unless she has some hard core shallow standards, it's going to be all about your presentation, and your presentation is your reality... what you believe and perceive.
Jersey Shortie Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 It's like every woman I meet these days. The more guys they get attention from the better. Meanwhile their standards and expectations become so lofty for anything long term, but hey why worry about long term when there's dozens of guys you can flirt with and no strings attached? The get the validation they want, the sex they want and are holding out for, not Mr. "right" but instead Mr. "perfect". It's getting old fast and I hope there's some other guys that have noticed this trend. Maybe I'm just.. being my neurotic self? Maybe you need to ask yourself why you only meet a certain type of women. There are many more women out there that don't need so much external validation. But usually men themselves focus on the more flashy woman. Then get mad or annoyed with the more flashy version doesn't come to heel for him. It just doesn't work that way. There are lots of women out there looking for a good man and she isn't looking for attention from a million different men. That's why you don't notice her. Maybe you need to start looking for a different type of woman. Usually when something keeps happening over and over again, you have to ask yourself how you are contributing to that.
MN randomguy Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Maybe you need to ask yourself why you only meet a certain type of women. There are many more women out there that don't need so much external validation. But usually men themselves focus on the more flashy woman. Then get mad or annoyed with the more flashy version doesn't come to heel for him. It just doesn't work that way. There are lots of women out there looking for a good man and she isn't looking for attention from a million different men. That's why you don't notice her. Maybe you need to start looking for a different type of woman. Usually when something keeps happening over and over again, you have to ask yourself how you are contributing to that. Good advice. I'm learning this. One side benefit, The reaction from Ms. Flashy when you're like. "Hi, I've wanted to talk to you." "Oh really, I don't know if you're good enough for me" "Oh, I won't take too much of your time then" "Oh, Really" "Yeah, Do you know that girl over there? With the T-shirt and Jeans?" "HER?" "Yeah, she kind of looks like you only not as fat. I saw you talking to her. Is she you roommate or something? Could you introduce us?"
MN randomguy Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Seriously though. I once tried to sell cars. The saying was. "Do you know the definition of insanity?" Doing the same thing and expecting different results. Good post Jersey Shortie.
Jersey Shortie Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 It's not your place to "put her in her place". She is allowed to live her life the way she wants. Just as you are allowed to life your life the way you want. Again, you need to look around you more and open your eyes to different women. Not have conversations with a girl that you want to belittle just because she enjoys male attention from alot of guys.
MN randomguy Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 It's not your place to "put her in her place". She is allowed to live her life the way she wants. Just as you are allowed to life your life the way you want. Again, you need to look around you more and open your eyes to different women. Not have conversations with a girl that you want to belittle just because she enjoys male attention from alot of guys. Yeah, I know, just being silly tonight.
animo Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 men have created this beast. now you must eat your lumps Make me ;-)
fishtaco Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 men have created this beast. now you must eat your lumps Wow, resurrection of an old post. This is a chicken and egg thing. Men have plenty of "evidence" to blame it on women, women have plenty to blame it on men. I feel like I'm at a corporate America meeting, everyone is pointing fingers at everyone else.
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