Attention whores

[motive2002]

It's like every woman I meet these days. The more guys they get attention from the better. Meanwhile their standards and expectations become so lofty for anything long term, but hey why worry about long term when there's dozens of guys you can flirt with and no strings attached?

 

The get the validation they want, the sex they want and are holding out for, not Mr. "right" but instead Mr. "perfect".

 

It's getting old fast and I hope there's some other guys that have noticed this trend. Maybe I'm just.. being my neurotic self?

[Lizzie60]

why worry about long term when there's dozens of guys you can flirt with and no strings attached?

 

Why not? Why settle for one when you can have dozens.. jealousy will take you nowhere.. wouldn't you loooove to be a woman?

[Star Gazer]

If a woman has TONS of options, why WOULD she settle for anything less than Mr. Perfect For Her??

 

Seems like those who have to settle are those who don't get attention...? Am I wrong?

[IrishCarBomb]

It's like every woman I meet these days. The more guys they get attention from the better. Meanwhile their standards and expectations become so lofty for anything long term, but hey why worry about long term when there's dozens of guys you can flirt with and no strings attached?

 

The get the validation they want, the sex they want and are holding out for, not Mr. "right" but instead Mr. "perfect".

 

I don't understand your point. What would you have women do instead? Do you think women fail to recognize Mr. "perfect" and would continue the single life even after meeting him just because they get so much attention, and that they prefer the new attention? Do you think women seek "negative" attention instead of a more rewarding and fulfilling attention?

[allina]

Why are people getting so pissed off over standards recently? Why doesn't it get people so heated to know that a complete stranger has some preference or standard they don't fit?

 

Further, how does the OP know that every woman he meets gets these things from men and what she wants from them?

[Bells]

If a woman has TONS of options, why WOULD she settle for anything less than Mr. Perfect For Her??

 

Seems like those who have to settle are those who don't get attention...? Am I wrong?

 

 

Star Gazer and others, get an education and read this and watch the video clip.

 

Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough

 

 

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23053553/

 

[IrishCarBomb]

Star Gazer and others, get an education and read this and watch the video clip.

 

Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough

 

 

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23053553/

 

 

WOOHOO!

 

They've lowered the standard to "Mr. Good Enough"!!! It's official!!!

 

Maybe now they'll lower it again to "Mr. I Don't Always Smell Bad" and then guys like Bells and me will have a chance!!! YES!!!

 

Wait... I think I got sidetracked there...

[Lizzie60]

I don't get that desperation.. why settle?

 

What's wrong with being single and happy.. and seeing ALL the Mr. Right, Mr. Good Enough, Mr. Not Too Bad, Mr. So-So, Mr. Smart & Funny, Mr. Cute & Sensitve, Mr. Not Available.. etc..

[fishtaco]

I don't see anything wrong. If you are dating is the same area, and she has a lot of options and therefore acts a certain way, that means you have a lot of options too, and you get to act a certain way as well, unless you're talking about China or something where the men/women ratio is out of whack.

 

Just keep dating. The only thing you need to make sure is when they want sex, you're around to provide the services. If they deem you not worthy enough afterward, ok, shake hands, go provide this same service to the next one. Everyone wins.

 

Eventually you'll meet someone that's compatible with you and want to be with you. That's just how it is. It's a number game. You have to go though X number of partners before you'll find one that matches.

[allina]

 

Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough

 

 

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23053553/

 

 

This is the 2nd or 3rd time this nonsense has been posted on LS! How sad! And what a horrid attitude to enter marriage with!

[Star Gazer]

Star Gazer and others, get an education and read this and watch the video clip.

 

Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough

 

 

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23053553/

 

 

NO, THANK YOU. I am not interested in anything less than the guy who is perfect FOR ME.

[Bells]

This is the 2nd or 3rd time this nonsense has been posted on LS! How sad! And what a horrid attitude to enter marriage with!

 

Actually, it's the best television broadcast on news about single women I have ever seen in my life.

 

When I saw this, I figured it'd behoove me to post this on dating message boards across the world to inform single women that they are being rather unreasonable, and it took a woman to point it out to them...

 

"Hey, girls....dontcha think you MIGHT be just a WEE too bit silly in your expectations"

 

Big nod!!

 

See what this article does is defunct the issue of my problem of women I've been posting about here.....it actually takes the heat off of ME! lol.

[allina]

See what this article does is defunct the issue of my problem of women I've been posting about here.....it actually takes the heat off of ME! lol.

 

I'm not sure I understand. You're saying that this article takes the heat off of you because it suggests women settle, which to you means date you?

[movingonandon]

If a woman has TONS of options, why WOULD she settle for anything less than Mr. Perfect For Her??

 

Seems like those who have to settle are those who don't get attention...? Am I wrong?

 

You're generally right, but also mostly wrong. The particular kind of girlies OP is talking about burn through a ton of boyfriends, then wake up at the age of 40 with no real character or relasionship skills to speak of, and urgently marry some poor shmuck (and make his, and their, life miserable).

 

The coolest girls do not use their hotness to surf aimlesly through dating till they're 40, but use their coolness to find and establish a good relationship right now. And that's the origin of the anger of the OP: this type of girl chooses not to work on real relationships, just because they're used to an endless supply of chumps. But, this pipeline dries up once the tits start to sag. Then what?

[kashmir]

Attention is just a natural advantage women get. You can't fight it, nor should you, because men have their share of natural advantages as well; it's just that our society has become so soft that those advantages don't really make much a difference. There are still ways to use those advantages, but I won't get into that now.

 

So some woman you meet might have 3 other handsome, smart, and successful guys simultaneously going for her, and you come along and despite all you've got going for you, she still has no more value for you. So what. Screw her.

 

While I have no reason to believe this, I know there have gotta be some women who don't play that game, just as there are men who don't care to put too much effort into a social scene. You've got the women who love guys' attention and will always have another guy in the picture because no one is perfect for her. Then you've got the guys who play into that and compete to rise to the top of women's ladders. It's exhausting just thinking about it, let alone doing it.

 

Like, don't people have better things to do besides reveling in the attention they get from guys or the girls they get to sleep with? I don't know...read a book, write a book, cure cancer, etc...

[Trialbyfire]

Star Gazer and others, get an education and read this and watch the video clip.

 

Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough

 

 

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23053553/

 

Wow, that's one bitter and cynical woman. She made her choices in life and now she's telling everyone that they were piss poor choices, blaming everything on everyone else.

 

Silly.

 

For some of us who've already been down the marital trap, no thanks to settling for someone who's not going to cut it. If I never get married again, so be it. THAT is my choice.

[Bells]

Wow, that's one bitter and cynical woman. She made her choices in life and now she's telling everyone that they were piss poor choices, blaming everything on everyone else.

 

Silly.

 

For some of us who've already been down the marital trap, no thanks to settling for someone who's not going to cut it. If I never get married again, so be it. THAT is my choice.

 

No...not bitter, she just woke up.

[2sure]

OP might find that women will be more receptive and interested in him longer, if he loses the mindset those that are not interested are whores.

 

Even if you dont come out and say it, that kind of mindset comes through.

And its disturbing to behold.

 

Just a lil pointer.

[movingonandon]

Star Gazer and others, get an education and read this and watch the video clip.

 

Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough

 

 

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23053553/

 

 

 

This is a very poorly worded, but very important message.

The reason it is important is that people overlook important qualities in pursuit of superficial and temporary satisfaction (and this applies to men too, but not to such a huuge entitled extent). I see a lot of that attitude here on LS and therefore predict a large number of mad/frustrated bitchezz some years down the road

 

Basically, if you're with a decent person to whom you're attracted, i say marrying is the way to go, even if there are some irritating things about them, as long as we're not talking about fundamental character faws. Instead, people keep dating trying to find somebody who has all these qualities AND is super attractive, AND is super intelligent, AND has a great sense of style, AND has the 'right' hobbies, whatever. But of course, it never works that way. When you do find such a person, they're deficient in some other aspect, often times fundamental one, so the viscious circle continues.

Of course, if I'm doing what I'm preaching I wouldn't be ambivalent about the perfectly nice girl I'm dating right now, but, I might come around since I'm at least cognizant of this. (Of course, if she loses about 10 lbs, in which case she'll be *painfully* hottt, all of the above sensible considerations will fly out of the window I'll just propose on the spot to keep her for myself at all costs )

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Are you f**ing kidding me? That woman is a wack job.

 

Bells, you think women are just these ridiculous creatures who need to "wake up" and realize how terrible their lives are without a man in it. That ridiculous writer is just the same.

 

Well, I don't buy it. The whole tone of the article is that to be single is some terrible, awful fate. I mean, this woman is actually advocating marriage to gay men, and men who send cold shivers down your spine when you think of touching them. Hell no. Hell no. Hell no.

 

Another whole premise that this article is based on is the idea that all women want children. Not all of us do. If I don't want kids, then the need for a bald headed, boring, gay, diaper changing, checkbook balancing dolt sort of goes out the window. And if I did want kids? Still wouldn't marry a homo. Sorry.

 

This article is seriously sad. I feel very sad for women like her who are so unhappy in their own skins, and with their own choices, that they would pair themselves up legally UNTIL DEATH DO US PART with some guy they don't even want to have sex with. Sad.

 

I do want to experience love, and I would like to get married, but if I don't then fine. I actually like my own company. I've always been very comfortable with myself. And alone is such a misnomer anyway. If anything, I have too many people in my life. I don't have time to see everyone I want to see.

 

I just cannot imagine hooking myself up with someone I did not desire and love in a permanent, legal arrangement. I would feel like I was in prison. No thanks.

[fishtaco]

I'm not going to argue about the issue of Mr. Perfect vs. "settling". I'm not a woman, it's not something I have to worry about anyway. From a guy's (OP's) perspective, even if most women do have an over-inflated sense of entitlement, so what? There is still room for the game, you just have to adjust it, which is something you should always be doing anyway.

 

You can't change the world, whether the world is correct or not. Moot point. You can only adjust to it.

 

The way I see it, when you meet a woman, you have to evaluate how she is, how you are, and what's in between you two. Maybe being platonic friends would be the best. Then you shouldn't push for romance. Maybe she just wants a ONS, well then if you try to make a girlfriend out of her it'll just crash and burn. If you meet a woman looking for Mr. Perfect, regardless if that's the right thing to do or not, but you are not that Mr. Perfect, well ok, don't date her then. If she's up for friendship, be friends. If she's up for sex, maybe you can get FWB going. Whatever.

 

There are plenty of reasons why even a fully grown relationship can fail. Realizing that you're not Mr. Perfect, again whether justified or not, is only one of many. If you can't handle relationships blowing up, and picking yourself up and moving on, this Mr. Perfect issue is the least of your worries.

 

Some women will like you, some won't. Some will only want sex from you, some will think you're lame. Some will break up with you, some you'll break up with. None of these need any reason. So really who cares about "Mr. Perfect"? You have to be able to handle all these situations. If you can do that, you're good to go. The reasons behind why these things happen are only of interest to academics.

 

As for the Mr. Perfect issue itself. Women know what's best for them. I'm not going to tell them what they should do. Either way I have been and will continue to engage in mutually beneficial associations with them, one way or another.

[Trialbyfire]

No...not bitter, she just woke up.

With an attitude like that, who would date her?

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I know I wouldn't want to be the guy she "settled" for! Gee, how special!

[Trialbyfire]

No kidding. And to suggest that women look up to Bradshaw in SATC, Rachel in Friends, etc., is just pathetic in my books. No wonder she's alone if these are her behaviour models. Ridiculous.

 

Btw, both Mr. Big and Ross aren't my idea of worthwhile men.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Ross was whiny and Mr. Big was emotionally unavailable. Not really my types either.