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Scared, and Unhappy (should I just give up?)


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Posted

Hello,

 

I have been dating the same guy for over 3 years now. We live together. I am not happy with the relationship for many reasons. I don't want to sit here and complain but in short here's why: he hasn't had a job for over a year (I'm paying for everything), he's become very religious (something that I'm not sure I can accept right now), he annoys me all the time just with the littlest things.

 

I also must inform you that I tend to lie to myself. I usually think things are worse than what they are. And, I'm not going to sit here and say I've always been an angel in the relationship. I've been difficult, stubborn, hurtful and I don't address the issues... I usually bring up that I just want to quit everytime we fight (which is everyday).

 

Truth is, I love him... but I feel like I'm just here to take care of him and put up with him. We've talked about these issues, but I haven't been very forthcoming with changing my own habits, so I don't really expect him to change his. I'm just sick and tired of putting up with him.

 

Anyway, I'm so scared to leave. I'm not even really sure why. I guess I don't want to make a mistake. From what I said here, what do you think?

 

Thanks so much.

 

ps: He is convinced that we should get married (it's kind of a religious thing, and kind of... I don't know he's madly in love with me thing). He sees no reason for us to break up.

Posted
I am not happy with the relationship for many reasons. I don't want to sit here and complain but in short here's why: he hasn't had a job for over a year (I'm paying for everything), he's become very religious (something that I'm not sure I can accept right now), he annoys me all the time just with the littlest things.

Truth is, I love him...

I'm trying to reconcile these two statements. Because based your post, you don't sound like you are loving towards him or feel love back.

 

Why on earth would you consider marriage - or even staying together - under those circumstances?

 

Mr. Lucky

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Posted

Quote:

Originally Posted by moredeborah viewpost.gif

I am not happy with the relationship for many reasons. I don't want to sit here and complain but in short here's why: he hasn't had a job for over a year (I'm paying for everything), he's become very religious (something that I'm not sure I can accept right now), he annoys me all the time just with the littlest things.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by moredeborah viewpost.gif

Truth is, I love him...

 

I'm trying to reconcile these two statements. Because based your post, you don't sound like you are loving towards him or feel love back.

 

Why on earth would you consider marriage - or even staying together - under those circumstances?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Hello Mr. Lucky,

 

I honestly don't want to marry him. He's the one pent up on getting married. I do love him and it's not like I am always terrible/indifferent or otherwise. We are sweet to each other on a daily basis. I've been staying with him hoping that things would get better. But it hasn't been. I am not blaming him entirely on that situation either. There are things I should change too to make it work. I just don't have the drive to do the work that it takes.

 

Hope that helps, and thank you for your insight.

Posted
There are things I should change too to make it work. I just don't have the drive to do the work that it takes.

Then you've answered your own original question. You should move on and allow your partner to do the same, hopefully both of you to relationships that better meet your needs. Life is too short to be as unhappy as you portray you current situation to be....

 

Mr. Lucky

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